Unintended
by Forks Is For Lovers
Summary: Bella is suffering from a broken heart. Edward can't escape from his past. Will a chance at true love be enough to help them learn how to trust again? AH/Canon & Non-Canon Pairings Rated M For strong language, adult themes & lemony goodness!
1. Time Is Running Out

**Hello my loves! So this is my first ff (well, the first one I've worked up the nerve to post!). I've been working on the idea behind this story for a few months now and finally got my thoughts organized enough to put it all together. First and foremost I have to thank my bestie, fellow Twihard and unofficial beta for inspiring me to finally put my thoughts into words. She's given me countless ideas, let me bounce **_**my**_** ideas off of her and helped this story come to life. Reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated! Read on!**

**Update: Okay, I can't help myself. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and this story is one of them. I've noticed a few inconsistencies between the chapters that you may or may not have picked up on, but they bugged me so I needed to fix them. Some of them were grammar and/or punctuation amongst other things. One thing I changed was the reduction of the f-bomb. I was slightly worked up when I wrote this the first time and realized I used it a little more than I wanted too *blush* lol. Another thing was that in the part where Edward is in Bella's bedroom looking at the picture of her with Emmett, it says she is in a bar, but I made it very clear that Bella is underage. When I was underage, I snuck into or found ways into bars all the time (Okay, not all the time. That makes me sound like a raging alcoholic but, occasionally.) so I didn't even realize that most readers would find it confusing that Bella was in a bar before being 21. I added a little something in there to help explain the situation.**

_"And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place. _

_And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving._

_Yeah, I'm leaving today._

_And I, I'll never let you find me. I'm leaving you behind with the past, no I won't look back._

_And I don't wanna hear your reasons._

_Don't wanna hear you tell me why I should stay. _

_And try, try to understand me._

_And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay._

_I, I'm moving on from this place._

_I'm leaving and I won't quit running away,"_

_Running Away-Midnight Hour_

**~BELLA~**

I don't know how long I had been sitting there, sorting through the box of old family photos. It had been three months since the accident and I found myself starting to forget the little things about my parents. I pulled out an old, faded photo of us at the beach. I could feel the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes. Charlie and Renee had their arms wrapped around each other as he dipped her back for a kiss. Emmett and I were sitting in the front and I was screaming my head off because he had just smashed my sand castle that I had spent a good 20 minutes building. I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett and I hardly looked anything alike. I had long, wavy brown hair to the middle of my back just like mom and Emmett favored dad with his curly black hair and bright green eyes.

Even though he had tortured me incessantly when we were kids, I always felt safe and protected with Emmett. I knew he loved me and he was the only family I had left in the whole world. I heard Jacob's key sliding into the front door and I quickly shoved all the pictures back in the box, wiped the tears off of my cheeks as best as I could and headed toward the living room.

"Hey baby, how was your day?"

"I'm exhausted," Jake said sliding out of his jacket and boots and flopping down into the recliner.

"We were completely slammed at the garage today."

"I'm sorry babe."

I bent down over top of him for a kiss, but he just looked at me and reached around to the coffee table to grab the remote. I went back into the kitchen to check on the lasagna and I struggled to hold back the tears that were threatening me again. Don't be ridiculous Bella, I scolded myself, he's just tired. I'd been saying that to myself a lot lately. Weren't guys supposed to be the ones that wanted to have sex all the time? Not that I was missing out on much with Jake, but a little affection and appreciation now and then would be nice. Hell, I'd settle for a conversation that lasted longer than 10 minutes. I could hear the obnoxious ring-tone on his cell phone going off, alerting him of a new text message. I grabbed a couple of plates and glasses and began setting the table.

"Jake, dinner's ready," I called into the living room. I cut myself a square of lasagna and sat down at the dining room table. He came around the corner with his jacket and boots back on, cell phone in hand. I could not believe he was pulling this shit again.

"Yeah, babe, I'm sorry, but I promised Sam and the other guys we'd hang out tonight." He looked anything but sorry.

"Are you kidding me right now, Jake?"

"What is your problem?" he snapped at me.

"What's my problem? I'll tell you what my damn problem is. My problem is that I never see you anymore. My problem is that I work all week long and go to school, come home and clean this shitty ass apartment and for some unknown reason cook your dinner every night and you don't do one damn thing to help me out around here. All I want from you is some of your time and you can't give me so much as a couple of hours?" The tears were starting to spill over now, running down my cheeks and dripping off my chin into my plate.

"No, I'll tell you what your problem is Bella. You're too damn clingy. It's been three damn months and all you do is mope around and cry. I need to be able to go out and have fun with my friends every once in awhile and you have to make me feel guilty for it!" He was screaming now, towering over me in my chair. I knew that Jacob would never hit me, but he completely lost control when he was upset and I couldn't help but wonder if one day he'd just snap and break my nose. The anger was rolling off of him in waves and he was shaking.

"Every once in awhile?" I shouted back, incredulous. "I've seen you for a total of six hours this whole week! And you don't even invite me to come out with you. I like to go out too you know."

"Bella, you're underage. You can't even get a drink. All you'd be doing is sitting there. And besides it's just the guys, why the hell would you even want to come anyway?" He was fuming. I could see the anger slowly consuming him.

"Well I have no idea. Why _would_ I want to come? Maybe so you could spend some actual quality time with me? It's not like I haven't gotten into bars before. Why does it always have to be about getting drunk? You know what? Forget it. Just fucking go. I can't even look at you right now."

And with that, he stormed off back through the living room and out the front door, slamming it so hard the wall shook.

I was alone. Again.

I dumped my plate in the sink and threw myself onto the couch, letting myself drown in the tears. How could he say those things to me? Three months; as if that was long enough. As if my parents hadn't just been scraped off of the highway. Is it possible to simply fall out of love with someone or was the way that I was feeling a product of never getting any love in return? Something had to give. Something needed to change. Jacob was not the man I fell in love with. No, the person that I loved was warm and caring and considerate. He would have never left me to spend another night alone in that goddamn queen size bed that he insisted we needed to get. He wouldn't have told me that he needed to go hang out in some shitty hole-in-the-wall bar with his emotionally retarded friends instead of spending time with me one damn night this whole week. I sighed again, fighting the urge to break something and pulled my knees to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to force myself to fall asleep, but I couldn't stop replaying our fight over and over in my mind like a slide-show of heartbreak.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"_I'm coming!" I shouted, crawling out of bed and heading toward the living room. I swear to God if Jake forgot his key again his ass is sleeping outside. I stumbled around in the dark, tripping over my feet and practically killing myself in the process. I made it to the door and yanked it open._

"_Are you Isabella Swan?" a gruff voice asked me._

_I couldn't process what was happening. Something was wrong. My stomach dropped. Why is there a police officer at my door in the middle of the night?_

"_Y-yes," I stammered, fighting against the lump in my throat._

"_Ma'am, maybe you'd better sit down, I have some bad news."_

_Oh God. No. Jake. Not Jacob. I knew it. I knew that one day he was going to drink too much and try to make it home. I could feel the bile rise up in the back of my throat. I couldn't breathe. No, not Jake. The last thing I said to him was that I couldn't stand looking at him. I stumbled backwards into the apartment and dropped onto the couch._

"_Ms. Swan, I'm afraid there's been an accident," the voice spoke again. Did this person have a face? I couldn't see. The room was starting to spin._

"_I'm sorry Ms. Swan, but your parents, Charlie and Renee Swan, were involved in a head-on collision. They died upon impact."_

_What? No, no. This wasn't happening. I was still dreaming. I had to be dreaming. Any second now I was going to wake up. But I didn't. There wasn't enough oxygen in the room. And the ringing, the ringing was so loud in my ears. I felt like I was drowning; being pulled down under the tide until my lungs would eventually collapse._

"_Are-are you sure? I mean how do you know? Are you sure it's them?" I didn't even know I began speaking. It was like listening to someone else talk. And the tears were streaming full force down my face, sobs rising up out of my chest. And then there was the hand, the warm hand on my shoulder pulling me up through the current; forcing me to focus in on my reality._

"_They spun out of control and ended up in the oncoming traffic. I am deeply sorry for your loss Ms. Swan," the voice spoke again._

_And that was it. That was it. A complete stranger had come to my house in the middle of the night to tell me that my parents, my own flesh and blood, were dead. Dead. I would never see them again. And he was completely calm and casual, walking to the door. He had just destroyed my whole life and he didn't even flinch._

The ringing was so loud I thought my head was going to explode. I rolled off of the couch and barely missed busting my head on the corner of the coffee table. And the ringing still hadn't stopped. I finally realized it was the phone and sprinted across the room to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Took you long enough! Let's go to Eclipse. I'm so stressed out. I really need a drink!"

"Rosalie, it's the middle of the night, what kind of bar is open at this hour?" I replied, still a little shaky from the nightmare.

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about? It's only 9:30."

"Oh, well aren't you forgetting the fact that I haven't turned 21 yet and they're definitely not going to let me in?" I sighed, knowing how this argument would turn out.

"Didn't we have this very conversation just last week? That's why I said Eclipse. I have connections. I'll get you in. It's no big deal Bella. They never card." She was starting to sound annoyed.

"Yeah no big deal for you. You have I.D."

"I.D. isn't how I was planning on getting you in anyway. Just let the bouncer cop a feel and you'll be getting free drinks too!" she laughed.

"Rosalie! What the hell? I'm not letting some nasty, dirty bouncer grab my tits. Not that he'd want to anyway." I sighed again, deeper this time.

Hanging out with Rosalie always took a hit on my self-esteem. The girl was absolutely stunning with her long, golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a body that should be on the cover of Maxim. I knew I wasn't ugly, but next to her there was no way to compare.

"Come on, please? Please come Bella. I need you!"

"Ugh, fine." I rolled my eyes. I knew I never had a chance to begin with.

"Sweet! I love you. Get your ass together. I'll be there in 10."

I shook my head and hung up the phone. I knew arguing with Rosalie was pointless and it would take a lot less energy to just let her have her way. I shuffled to the bathroom and did a once over in the mirror. I hardly recognized the girl staring back at me. My hair used to be bouncy and shiny and full of life, but now just hung in limp strings around my too pale face. The dark circles from night after night of no sleep were becoming more and more apparent. I sniffled back a tear and headed to the bedroom. I stared at my closet for a good five minutes before deciding I had absolutely no desire to pick out a new outfit so Rose was just going to have to deal with the jeans and t-shirt combo I was currently rocking. I could hear her loud mouth calling me all the way up the two flights of stairs to my apartment and quickly hurried to the door, grabbing my purse and phone and locking the door behind me.

"Jesus Christ Rosalie. Pipe down, will you?"

"Bella, what _are_ you wearing?" she said, putting her hands on her hips and raising her perfect eyebrows at me.

"Um, clothes? Look, I'm not in the mood. Jake and I had another fight and I've been feeling really shitty lately, so cut me some slack all right?"

She closed the distance between us and slung her arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, Bells, you know I'm only teasing you. I'm really sorry sweetie. You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head furiously, fighting back another round of tears.

"Let's just go. Maybe I could use a drink after all."

"That's my girl." She grinned at me with her blindingly white teeth.

We pulled up in front of the door to the bar around 10 and I immediately spotted Jake's motorcycle across the lot.

"Hey, isn't that Jake's bike?" Rosalie said, sliding out of the car.

"Yeah," I replied, my brows furrowing in confusion.

"Well why the hell would he come to this piece? He's 21. He can get into any bar he wants."

I shook my head, not really knowing how to respond, but I could feel a pit beginning to form in my stomach, especially knowing he came to a bar that never carded, but had made a huge deal about not bringing me because I was underage.

"Come on! We're wasting precious time." She hooked her arm through mine and dragged me to the door.

"Hey Aro! I didn't know you were working tonight," Rosalie said innocently, flipping her hair over one shoulder.

"Uh, um, yeah. Yeah I am."

He could barely tear his eyes away from her breasts covered in the unconvincing piece of scrap fabric that she called a shirt. I had to laugh at her. The girl always got what she wanted. She knew how to work a man.

"So, my friend Bella and I need to go inside, just for a couple minutes. That's okay with you right?" Rosalie said in her best phone sex operator voice, peeking up at him from under her lashes as she trailed her fingers across his chest.

"Oh, man I don't know. You know I could get in trouble Rose," Aro replied, looking nervous as hell.

"Please?" she begged again. "I promise we won't tell anyone. We're good girls."

Rosalie was seriously out of control.

"Shit. Fine. Hurry up and get inside, but don't make yourselves obvious, okay?"

"Thanks baby. I owe you one." She winked as she breezed past him, "accidentally" brushing her ass across him as she went by.

I walked in behind her and immediately started scanning the crowd for Jake. Maybe he had cooled off by now and we could actually hang out.

"Bella! How the hell are you?" Sam reached down and scooped me up into a hug.

"I'm hanging in there. Have you seen Jake? I really need to talk to him."

"Uh, you know he left like an hour ago or something. He should be back at your place by now." His eyes were darting nervously through the crowd.

What the hell? Why would Sam lie to me like that? And why did he look so antsy?

"Um, that's bullshit. I just came from my place. And uh, his bike is still outside, so…what's going on Sam?"

I tried to push past him, but he stepped in my way.

"Damn it! What is your problem? I need to see Jacob."

I could hear my voice reaching a new octave and I was getting more pissed off by the second. I turned around to see if I could spot Rosalie, but she was already too busy flirting with the bartender. I shoved past him and scanned the bar, spotting Jake in a dark corner booth and I sank to my knees. How much can one person endure? Can you actually, literally die of a broken heart? Because it sure felt like that was what was happening. I could see the brunette straddling his lap, grinding herself against him. And he was fucking glowing. Smiling so hard I thought his face would crack. And then she was kissing him and he was pawing at her breasts right there in the middle of the bar. Right in front of all of his stupid friends who just sat by and said nothing. Was this some kind of sick, cosmic joke? What had I done to deserve all of this? I picked myself up off of the floor and ran out the door.

"Bella! Bella, what's wrong? Where are you going?" Rose was yelling after me and I could hear her heels on the pavement struggling to keep up with me.

"He's cheating on me Rose! Jake's cheating on me!" I cried out, my breath coming in quick, shallow spurts. I bent over in front of the car, willing myself not to throw up.

"What? What did you just say?"

"I saw him! He's in there making out with some slut sitting on his lap."

I began shaking, silently pleading with myself not to lose control. The one person that was supposed to love me and cherish me and be there for me didn't want me. What had I done in my life that was so wrong? Why wasn't I good enough?

"Why is he doing this to me Rose? Why?" I couldn't hold myself together any longer and I slumped to the ground. I watched her whip out her cell and furiously punch out a text message then slam it shut.

"Stay here Bella," she spat out. I watched her turn on her heels and march back towards the bar.

"Wait, what are you doing? Rose, don't!" I pleaded with her, but she was already storming back through the door. I called for her to come back, but I didn't have the strength to go after her. So I sat there in the middle of the parking lot letting the agony rip through me.

"Get your fucking hands off of me you crazy, blonde bitch!" I heard Jake screaming now and watched him stumble through the door, flanked by his pack of followers and Aro dragging Rosalie by the elbow. I wanted to turn and run. How could this be happening? And I didn't know which was worse. The fact that he was cheating on me, or that his friends, _our_ friends since high school, had known and didn't even bother telling me. I looked up, scanning the faces of the people I thought I knew. Hoping that maybe someone could give me some answers. Tell me I was on some ridiculous new reality show, or, at the very least, show some sign of remorse. But all I got in return was Embry blushing and looking slightly embarrassed, mostly due to the fact that he was trashed and Paul, who was actually laughing. And then there was Jacob. Jake. I felt my heart crack in two looking at his face, which was currently forming a pretty, red welt on the side shaped like Rosalie's hand. I knew I loved her for a reason.

"Hey baby, are you okay?" I heard the drunken brunette slur at Jake.

"Oh, hey Bella! How's it going?" she said as she stumbled over her heels.

"You have absolutely got to be shitting me. You're cheating on me with Leah Clearwater?" I screamed. How could this possibly be happening?

"Wait, you know this bitch?" Rosalie turned to me, still visibly fuming.

"Oh, yeah I know her. Want to know how I know her? I used to babysit her! She's 16 Jacob! 16! What are you some kind of pedophile now?" I bit down on my lip hard, drawing blood; needing a distraction from the pain that was currently burning through my entire body.

"Hey you can't talk to my boyfriend like that!" Leah slurred again as she attempted to come towards me, but wound up stumbling and being caught by Sam.

"What did you just say?" I practically growled. There was a crowd beginning to form outside in the parking lot. Great. Now everyone in town would know that Jake had been cheating on me for God knows how long with a damn child.

"How could you do this Jake? I trusted you," I hissed, slowly shaking my head back and forth, still in disbelief. And he had the nerve to be pissed with me!

"You know it all makes sense now. Emily called me the other night. She wanted to know why I never came to the bar with you, seeing how all of the other girls always came. She wanted to know why I was always too busy to come hang out. So, what? You've been lying to everyone? Making up shitty excuses for me? Pretending that I didn't want to come with you? Guy's night. Really, Jake? Is that what you call this?"

"You know what Bella? I put up with your shit for about as long as I could. You should be getting down on your knees and thanking God that you were lucky enough to have someone like me," Jake spat at me.

Oh my God. What had happened to him? I didn't even know this person standing in front of me. It wasn't long ago that we had been talking about getting married and now…now he was a complete stranger. I had wanted to remain composed, but my traitor tears slipped out and ran down my face, slow and taunting. Rosalie had one arm wrapped around my waist and her sharp, red nails were digging into my side, as she tried to hold herself back.

"Come on Rose, let's go. He's not even worth it."

"You better watch your step Jake. You're nothing but a worthless, lowlife dog, you cock sucker." I had known Rose for years now and I don't think I had ever seen her quite so pissed. We slid back into the car and she peeled out of the parking lot, driving like a maniac and doing at least 30 miles over the speed limit like she always did. I purposefully kept my head turned as I peered out the window and let the tears come silently. I could feel her throwing quick glances over at me every so many minutes and I stifled back a sob.

"I'm so, so sorry Bella. I-I just…" and for once Rosalie was speechless. "You're staying with me tonight. And don't even try to argue. I'm not leaving you alone tonight and if I have to stay over at your place there's a good possibility I might chop Jake's balls off."

"Fine. At least take me back to my place to get clothes and stuff."

We pulled up in front of my building and trudged up the steps. I headed to the bedroom and immediately stripped out of my clothes and pulled on my favorite tank top and faded sweats. I could still smell Jake's cheap cologne wafting through the apartment, practically suffocating me. I had never understood why he needed to get all dolled up to go hang out with the guys. I guess I finally had my answer. I threw my over night bag onto the bed and began packing clothes and underwear when I heard my cell phone go off and couldn't help but smile a little as I recognized the ridiculous, cheesy 80s song he had demanded I put on my phone as his ring-tone.

"Emmett!" I sighed into the phone, immediately feeling a sense of comfort and home.

"Hey sis, are you okay?" He sounded worried.

"What, are you psychic now?" How could he possibly know I was upset?

"Not hardly. Rose sent me a text message and told me what was going on. I can't believe that dick. He's lucky as hell I'm not there right now."

Oh, right. Of course she had told him. I had almost forgotten how close the three of us used to be before Em left for college.

"Well then, I guess that means you know what happened because I really don't want to talk about this right now." My voice was shaking and I was fighting off another round of tears. Rosalie finished packing my bag for me and I could almost see her forming evil schemes as she eyed Jake's stuff.

"Look Bella, I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but why don't you take me up on my offer? You haven't been the same since-since," he paused to clear his throat "the accident and now all of this shit? You always told me that if things didn't work out between you and Jake you'd come to Forks. I miss you Bella," he tacked on at the end, suddenly sounding really depressed.

"Emmett, you know I miss you too, but I can't just leave my apartment. And what about school?" I did have to admit the idea of leaving this whole ordeal behind was appealing.

"Bella, you're like a goddamn genius or something. You can transfer to the University with me. They have a great undergrad program and you could live in off campus housing or some shit." He was practically begging now. I looked at Rose who pretty much had the gist of the conversation and even though I knew I was going to miss her like hell, she nodded her head vigorously at me in agreement that I should go. After a few more minutes of Emmett begging and pleading with me and trying to convince me of all the reasons why I should move to be with him, I finally caved and decided I didn't give a damn if I walked out on Jake or not.

"Well," I hedged, "you better get your ass down here and help your baby sister move."

~ooo~

**~EDWARD~**

"_Tanya? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" __I sat down next to her on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my chest. She let out a muffled sob and began crying even harder. __I sat there, stroking her hair and shushing her, scared out of my damn mind as to why she would be so hysterical. __She glanced up at me through her tear soaked lashes, "Edward, I'm pregnant."_

The blaring of the car horn snapped me out of my reverie and I could see in my rear view mirror the driver behind me gesturing wildly at the green-light I was now sitting through. I had almost completely forgotten the fact that I was driving. I hit the gas and cruised down the road, totally absorbed in my thoughts again. A few short months ago my world had been flipped completely on its axis when Tanya had sprung on me the fact that I was about to be a father. How did that shit even happen? I knew she was forgetting her birth control pills. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to have a _future_ with her much less a goddamn baby. I had finally convinced myself that even if Tanya wasn't 'the one', that I was going to buckle down and take responsibility for my actions. The kid was just as much mine as it was hers. I had almost even gotten excited at the thought, and then, right when I thought my life couldn't spin out of control anymore, she told me she had lost the baby. And that's when I lost her completely. She sort of went off the deep end. Completely lost control. She was constantly out, every single night with her friends, drinking and stumbling in all hours of the night. Half the time she didn't even make it to work anymore and I wanted out. I couldn't do this bullshit anymore. I had to question whether or not I was a complete tool for even considering leaving her after everything she had just been through, but I also knew it wasn't fair to either one of us for me to stay if I knew I didn't love her.

I pulled up in front of my apartment building, cut the engine and rested my head on the back of the seat. What the hell was I even doing with my life? I heard my cell ring and grabbed it off of the passenger seat.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, it's Emmett."

"Hey. What's up?" I grabbed the keys and headed towards my apartment.

"Listen dude, I gotta ask you a really big favor."

"Whatever you need man. You've had my back with all of the Tanya shit that's been happening. What's going on?" I had only known Emmett for about nine months, but he was more of a brother to me than Jasper ever was. My own blood barely even spoke to me anymore, not to mention the rest of my family. And for what? I had bailed Jasper's ass out of trouble more times than I could count and the last time was the one that had cost me everything I had.

"You remember my sister Bella I told you about that lives in Florida?"

"Uh yeah?"

"Well she hasn't been doing very well since," he paused briefly and took a deep breath, "what happened to my parents and then the other night she caught her douche bag boyfriend cheating on her." He sounded murderous.

"Jesus Christ, that's some hard shit, but um, what does this have to do with me?"

"Well I've convinced her to move her ass to Forks with me and her stuff's all packed up over at her new place and…" he trailed off. I knew where this was going.

"So you need me to help you unpack?" I finished for him.

"Yeah, I mean she's having a hard time and she starts her new job today and her roommate, hot as hell, but completely OCD or some shit and Bella doesn't want to inconvenience her by leaving all her stuff around. She stresses out a lot."

Even though I was running on about maybe three hours of sleep if I was lucky, had a shit ton of work to do for school and had no clue as to what was actually happening in my life I told Emmett to come pick me up and I'd help him out. I mean, it was the least I could do after all the crap he had been through with me. I quickly shoveled down some Chinese takeout from God knows when, pulled my old, beat up Chucks back on and headed out the door. Emmett was already sitting out in front of my building in his totally-unnecessary-and-ridiculous-for-Forks Hummer and I climbed in the passenger seat.

"What's up, man?" he said, slapping me on the back so hard I coughed a little. He really had no idea just how big of a dude he was.

"Ehh, you know. Same shit, different day." I shifted in my seat to try and avoid the onslaught of questions I knew were going to be thrown my way.

"How's everything going with Tanya?" he asked as he made a completely illegal U-turn in the middle of the road. That was the one fucking thing I had been hoping he wouldn't bring up.

"I'm thinking about leaving," I mumbled, not wanting to get into this. But all I got in response was a grunt as he cut someone off across three lanes of traffic. I don't know what I was really expecting anyway. I had been so emo lately I half expected him to go Dr. Phil on my ass and ask me to talk about my feelings. He left it at that and we pulled into a parking spot right in front of his sister's new place.

"Christ, this is pretty nice for off campus housing," I muttered, taking in the huge brown and white duplex in front of me.

"Yea, well you think it looks nice from the outside, wait til you see what's waiting on the inside," he said, wagging his eyebrows at me and elbowing me in the ribs. I wasn't quite sure what he was implying at first until I saw a very petite and extremely attractive girl practically dancing towards us. She had a short, dark bob, big, round eyes and an amazing little body that I quickly realized did absolutely nothing for me. I had been with Tanya for so long I didn't even know how to act around attractive women anymore. I mean, sure, I could appreciate a hot chick when I saw one, but no one held any interest for me. Tanya had taken practically all I had to give and then some. I noticed Emmett eyeing her appreciatively and quickly realized she must be the "hot as hell" roommate he had been talking about and knew I wouldn't have had a shot with her anyway, even if I had wanted one. When Emmett had his mind set on something he followed it through til the end and women were no exception. This chick had no idea what she was in for.

"Hey Emmett! And you must be Edward," she greeted in her musical voice. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, wondering how she knew who I was, but figured Emmett must have told her I was coming by. I extended my hand to shake hers, but was instead pulled forcefully into a hug. Shit, she was strong for such a tiny little thing.

"Everything's going to work out, Edward," she whispered in my ear before pulling away and gesturing for us to follow her inside. "I'm Alice, by the way," she called over her shoulder. What the hell was that about? Did Emmett already tell some chick he had just met all of the personal shit going on in my life? I couldn't imagine him doing something like that, but what else could she have meant? Alice was creeping me out.

We followed her into the most expensive looking living room I had ever seen in my life, next to my parents place. It looked like it had been professionally decorated and the couch alone was probably worth more than an entire year's worth of my paychecks. We continued to follow her through the apartment and down a long corridor connecting to the adjoining apartment that must have belonged to Bella. I looked around the tiny space in confusion and exchanged a glance with Emmett who looked just as perplexed as I felt.

"Uh, hey I thought you said we had to unpack all of your sister's shit," I muttered to him.

"I thought we did. It was all still stacked in boxes when I left," he whispered back to me. "Hey, Alice, what's going on?" Emmett questioned as he gestured around the room.

"Oh, well I felt bad for Bella. She seemed so stressed out earlier having to start a new job and all so I took it upon myself to get everything organized for her. I couldn't stand the clutter anyway. I do, however, need your help moving some of the furniture in her bedroom. I can't decide if I should put the dresser near the closet or…" she trailed off, mostly talking to herself and I was shaking my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe in a few short hours, this chick, who was ridiculously small and fragile looking, had unpacked all of Bella's belongings by herself and organized them. I couldn't tell if she was actually crazy or just overly helpful. We followed her into Bella's room and I was immediately hit with such an overpowering and delicious scent it almost knocked me on my ass.

Emmett and I carried the dresser to the other side of the room, under Alice's direction, practically breaking our backs in the process. The most gigantic bed I had ever seen was currently taking up the majority of the tiny ass room and we had to squeeze ourselves past it and maneuver the dresser practically over our heads to get by.

"Hey, thanks guys. I think Bella will really appreciate this. You want a beer or something?" Alice asked turning to us.

"Uh, yeah that would be great actually. Thanks."

"Here I'll help you out," Emmett said following her into the kitchen like a lost puppy. Smooth Emmett. As if she couldn't manage three bottles of beer on her own. My curiosity got the best of me and I took advantage of now being alone in Bella's room to examine her gigantic CD collection on the shelf opposite the bed. Muse, Kings Of Leon, Crossfade…wow, she has incredible taste in music. And then my eyes settled on a CD near the bottom of the stack. Boyz II Men's Greatest Hits. Um, what? That could quite possibly be the most random thing I had ever seen in my entire life. I liked this chick. She definitely seemed to not be a conformist like so many of the other fake bitches running around this town. I scanned the rest of the shelf, surveying her extensive classic literature and finally fixated on a shiny, silver picture frame. I immediately recognized Emmett's big ass taking up most of the shot, sitting at some sort of bar with the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on. She looked too young to be in a bar and maybe even a little nervous, but I wouldn't put it past Emmett's alcoholic ass to sneak her in. They seemed to be celebrating something and were toasting each other, both smiling ear to ear.

Bella.

Wow. Apparently I _could_ still recognize when a woman "did it" for me. She had the most amazing, chocolate brown eyes and gorgeous chestnut hair falling in waves past her shoulders. Damn, where did that come from? I'm turning into more of a pussy than I originally thought. I sighed deeply, realizing that I was more interested in a photo of a complete stranger than I had been interested in Tanya in a long time, if ever. I headed out towards the kitchen in desperate need of that beer and found Emmett and Alice sitting on the couch ridiculously close, deep in conversation, Alice giggling like a little kid.

"Ahem" I cleared my throat and nervously ran my hand through my hair suddenly feeling awkward and out of place and Emmett looked up glaring at me.

"Uh, can I have your keys Em? I left my phone out in the Hummer." I mumbled. He threw them at me, narrowly missing my face and I took that as my cue to give them some alone time. I had to give him credit. He could literally charm the pants off a woman.

I plopped down in the Hummer and closed my eyes; all of the exhaustion of not getting any sleep these past few months was catching up with me, hard. Maybe I would just take a nap while the two of them dry humped or whatever it was Emmett thought would be happening. I woke up several minutes later to the sound of Emmett's booming voice hollering his goodbyes to Alice as he started the engine and whipped out of the parking spot.

"Dude, what the hell were you doing out here by yourself for 20 minutes? Not that I'm complaining or anything. Alice and I are going out next Friday," he informed me, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

"I was giving you the alone time that you so subtly asked me for when you tried to stab my eyes out with your keys. I must have fallen asleep. So you and Alice, huh?" I glanced over at him and he was actually blushing. Christ, I thought I was a little bitch.

"So you really have a thing for this chick?"

"I don't know dude, she's just different from all the other girls around here. And it's not just about getting in her pants either. I mean of course I want to make sweet, sweet love to her sexy little body, but I actually don't mind talking to her too, ya know?"

I sighed, suddenly wishing that I did know what he meant. I don't think I had ever had a conversation with Tanya the entire time we were dating that actually amounted to anything. Which made me wonder, what had kept us together this whole time? Was I just so comfortable in not having to be alone that I had just settled instead? Shit.

"Hey thanks for coming with me and helping out. I'll catch ya later, bro." Emmett said as he rolled up in front of my apartment.

"No problem, man. Take it easy."

I climbed out and headed toward the cluster of mailboxes and slid the key into mine, pulling out bills and obscene amounts of junk mail. I walked down the steps and into the apartment, immediately realizing Tanya wasn't home. Again. Granted it was only around 7, but she had gotten off of work nearly three hours ago. No doubt she was probably at the bar or the club with one of her white trash girlfriends. I flopped down on to the couch and started sorting through the mail, stopping on a suspicious looking envelope addressed to Mrs. Masen. What the hell? Who was sending Tanya mail thinking that she was my wife? I couldn't help myself, so I ripped it open and tried to make sense of the words on the white page. I kept scanning it over and over trying to figure out what I was reading and trying to convince myself that there was some sort of mistake.

It was a bill from a clinic. There was no way. This had to be a mistake. A _huge_ fucking mistake. I grabbed the phone off its hook and dialed the number listed on the bottom corner of the bill.

"Dr. Mulligan's office, how can I help you?"

"Hi, my name's Edward Masen and I just received a bill from your office, but there must be some sort of mistake."

"What seems to be the problem Mr. Masen?"

"Well my girlfr-wife, she had a miscarriage, but this bill…" I trailed off, everything suddenly clicking into place.

"Well unfortunately Mr. Masen I can't release personal information of our patients so I'm really not sure how I can be of service to you."

"But, it's for my wife, and uh, she's just not doing well dealing with all of this. I have to take care of the bills for her so it would really be a big help if you could pull up some information for me." I could feel the blood draining from my face.

"I thought you said she was your girlfriend?" the nasal voice on the other end asked.

"Girlfriend? No, I didn't say that. Wife. She's my wife. Please, I'm not asking for anything other than you to confirm that she did in fact visit your office." I was begging now, more than anything for this to just not be true.

The nasal woman sighed deeply into the phone before placing me on hold to pull up Tanya's information in the computer. I waited, drumming my fingers on my leg, for what seemed like hours.

"Mr. Masen?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"It says here that your wife, Tanya Masen was in to see the doctor on the 7th. Is there anything else I can help you with"? She grated, sounding slightly annoyed.

I couldn't believe this was happening. How could Tanya pull this shit? How could I be stupid enough not to see this? And why the hell had she told them we were married? Then, realization slowly dawned on me. Why else would she pretend to have the same last name as me?

"Yes I have just one more question. Is there any way to track which form of payment was used?" I heard her clicking away at the keyboard.

"It was a MasterCard with the last four digits reading 6480."

"And just so I'm clear on the situation, she had an-an a-abortion, correct?" I barely managed to choke out.

"Sir, I told you I can't release personal information."

"You just gave out a credit card number. I think we're past personal." I could feel my composure slipping. "So how about you answer my question and I won't call your boss and tell him that you're giving out patient information over the phone to a complete fucking stranger!" I yelled into the receiver.

"Y-yes. She had an abortion," she stammered sounding a little shocked at my tone of voice and harsh choice of words.

With that I clicked the phone off and stared blankly out into the room. How could all of this shit be happening to me? How could I have ever believed that stupid bitch? Not only had she had an abortion, but she had lied and posed as my wife so she could use _my_ credit card to do her dirty work. I scanned the bill for the millionth time, my hands beginning to shake in my rage, realizing I now owed 500 dollars. Motherfuck! I was going to lose my mind. I rubbed my hands over my face and stumbled to the kitchen. I yanked the Jack Daniels out of the cabinet and began chugging straight from the bottle. It was like I had known all along. Not known that that whore had lied to me and killed another human life, but I had known that this relationship, if you could even call it that, hadn't been working out. If only I had listened to that goddamn nagging voice in my head and gotten out when I should have.

I was going to absolutely kill her if she came home now. I needed to get out of here. I needed to do something to get my mind off of all of this shit. Get my frustration out somehow. My first thought was to head to the bar to drown myself in alcohol, but figured that probably wasn't the best idea right now considering I'd run the risk of running into Tanya. I grabbed my guitar from the corner, practically running from my apartment and began walking to the coffee shop around the corner. I knew they were having open mic night there tonight and music was one of the only ways I knew how to get out my emotions without actually having to actually talk about them.

I pushed open the door and the little bells jingled against the glass overhead, coffee and muffins and pastries immediately assaulting my nose. I knew for a fact that I'd never run into Tanya here. You had to have maybe an ounce of class to set foot in this place which I knew she was seriously lacking.

"Edward!"

Oh, Jesus Christ. How could I forget that Tanya's best friend worked here? Guess I was wrong about the whole having to have class thing. I inwardly groaned and kept my back turned from the banshee hollering to me from across the coffee shop.

"Edward, hey!"

She was right behind me now. I was trapped.

"Oh, hey Jessica. How are you?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Better, now that you're here." She replied in what she probably thought was a sexy voice. I couldn't even believe she still tried to get with me every time I saw her. I had been dating her best friend for nearly two years, but that never stopped her.

"So, did you come all this way just to see me?" she cooed, getting way too close for comfort. She had to be just about the fakest girl I had ever laid eyes on. Her hair was bleached to a level of blondish-grayish-white that I had previously thought only existed on little old ladies and her skin was the most unnatural looking "tan" I had ever seen.

And I'd bet my next paycheck on the fact that she probably stuffed her bra. We all knew better than to actually think she miraculously grew into a D cup overnight and there was no way she was making enough money at a coffee shop to get implants.

"Actually, I just came by for the open mic night. It's been awhile since I played, so…" I didn't finish my thought, trying desperately to figure out a way to get rid of this leach.

"Oh, Eddie that's fabulous!" she screeched at me.

"You have such a sexy voice and the way your fingers work that guitar…" she smiled coyly at me and I fought the urge to throw up.

"Yea, well I better go and put my name in and set up and shit." And with that I turned as fast as I could and hurried to the opposite end of the tiny shop.

After listening to the guy ahead of me completely butcher a song by the Goo Goo Dolls, until I thought my ears were going to bleed, he finally ended his set and it was my turn to take the stage. My heart started pounding a little harder in my chest as I made my way to the microphone and took a seat on top of the stool. I cleared my throat and kept my eyes down as I started strumming the chords to the only song I could think of to sing at this moment.

"_Wish I was too dead to cry. The self-affliction fades. Stones to throw at my creator, masochist to which I cater._

_You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther and once I hold on I won't let go til it bleeds."_

I could feel all of the emotions I had right now pouring out into the lyrics and I chanced a look up into the crowd. Every single eye in the shop was trained on me and I realized I was probably seriously bringing everyone down, but I didn't care. It felt good to get this off of my chest and I didn't know any other way to do it.

"_Wish I was too dead to care if indeed I cared at all."_ That single line spoke volumes to me. I had never realized how truly done with Tanya I was right until this moment. I was tired of letting her make me feel this way.

"_Never had a voice to protest so you fed me shit to digest"_ I could feel the anger and hurt bubbling up inside me and I began strumming over the strings harder.

"_I wish I had a reason. My flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying. One good turn deserves my dying."_ I could feel someone staring at me intently now. I could feel their gaze stronger than everyone else and I picked my head up to stare into the deepest, warm brown eyes I had ever seen in my entire life. My breath hitched in my throat and I almost forgot the lyrics.

Bella.

Her beautiful heart shaped face was mostly hidden by a curtain of dark brown hair and her chest was heaving up and down as if she had just run a marathon.

"_You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther and once I hold on I won't let go til it bleeds."_ I realized I was still staring at her and that she most likely had no idea who I was and was probably creeping her the hell out. I tried to focus my attention back on the chords I was playing, but her face was burned into my mind. I felt such an inexplicable draw to her, it took all I had not to stop in the middle of the song and close the distance between us.

"_Wish I'd died, instead of lived. A zombie hides my face. Shell forgotten with its memories. Diaries left with cryptic entries and you don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther and once I hold on I won't let go til it bleeds."_ I peeked up at her again hoping not to seem too obvious as I finished out the song to find her still staring as one lone tear escaped down her cheek.

She quickly snapped back into reality, wiped her cheek on her sleeve and hurried off behind the counter. I had almost completely forgotten that I had an audience until I heard the wild cheers and applause. I nodded my head in appreciation and mumbled a quick thank you into the microphone and practically ran off stage.

Bella. Even just saying her name in my mind sounded beautiful. Had she been crying? Had I made her cry? The thought alone of me inflicting pain on her made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

Get a grip Edward. You don't even know this chick, I thought as I packed up my guitar.

I headed over to the counter to grab a bottle of water and was immediately assaulted by the banshee again.

"Oh, Eddie that was so beautiful!" she gushed as she caressed the back of my hand.

I grunted my thanks, paid for the bottle of water and hauled ass as fast as I could across the shop toward the door. Maybe Emmett would let me crash at his place tonight until I could figure out what I was going to do.

"Hey, Edward wait!" Christ I could not get out of here fast enough.

I spun around on my heel to see Mike Newton staring back at me grinning ear to ear. That kid was always so happy it made me sick.

"What's up Mike?"

"Hey, man I was just wondering if you were still coming to my party on Friday?" He looked so hopeful. I had never understood why he liked me so much.

"Oh uh, I dunno Mike. I have a lot going on.""Oh, come on" he begged as he threw an arm around my shoulders. "You have to come man. I need you to be my wing-man."

I couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"And what poor unsuspecting girl is the target this time?"

"That fine piece of ass that just moved into town. Bella Swan."

I practically spit out the water I was chugging and Mike looked at me like I had just sprouted another head.

"Dude, drink much?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry. I'm fine. When is it?"

"Next Friday man. B.Y.O.B."

"Yeah, alright, I'll see if I can make it.""Sweet dude, thanks. It's about time I got laid."

I forced myself to give him a smile and headed back out into the night. I don't fucking think so. Mike had no idea that I was about to become a professional cock-blocker. I was like a man possessed. I hadn't even spoken to Bella, but I already knew there was no way in hell I was letting Mike come within a 10-mile radius of her.

I shook my head and realized just how pathetic I had become. Tanya and I weren't even officially done yet and here I was pining over a complete stranger. I pulled out my phone and dialed Emmett's number.

"Hey, uh I know it's kind of short notice, but um, do you think I could crash at your place tonight?" I said trying not to sound too desperate.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Is everything alright man?" Emmett said sounding concerned.

"Yeah, not really. I'll explain when I get there."


	2. Falling Down

**I finally have chapter 2 up! Yay me! First of all I want to say a big thanks to everyone who checked out the first chapter and left reviews. You guys rock. You definitely encouraged me to keep going. I also need to throw out there that obviously none of these characters belong to me. They are all owned by the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. I need to thank my bestie and unofficial beta kayelzibub who has been kind enough to review (and correct!) my story even with a screaming baby on her hip! I love ya missy. And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Aimlesslydreamin who was awesome enough to read over my first chapter and be brutally honest when I was too nervous to post! She also has an awesome FF in the making called Blue that you need to go check out! This chapter is significantly longer than the first, but a lot goes down. No lemony goodness yet, but it will be coming soon! I promise!**

_In the light of the sun is there anyone?_

_Oh it has begun... _

_Oh dear you look so lost. _

_Eyes are red and tears are shed. _

_This world you must've crossed, you said you don't know me_

_You don't even care. _

_She said you don't know me and you don't wear my chains. _

_Essential yet appealed. _

_Carry all your thoughts across an open field. _

_When flowers gaze at you they're not the only ones who cry when they see you._

_Boston-Augustana_

**~BELLA~**

I pushed my way through the crowd of people as best as I could with the bulky, black book bag slung over my shoulder and stood on my tiptoes as I scanned the airport. I saw couples in tearful embraces, most likely having to part ways, and others sitting in the tiny, plastic chairs waiting to board their flight, typing away on laptops or finishing off Sudoku puzzles. I craned my neck and finally spotted my big bear of a brother practically knocking people over to get to me.

"Emmett!" I shouted as I threw my bag to the ground and jumped up into his arms. He squeezed me tight and spun me around in a circle.

"Bella! Have you always been so pale?" He chuckled.

"It's great to see you too Em," I said, rolling my eyes as he picked my bag up off the floor and we headed to wait for the rest of my luggage.

"You know I'm just busting your balls Izzy. Of course I'm happy to see you. I'm the one who has been begging you to come ever since I moved here for college."

"Okay number one, last time I checked I didn't have balls and two please don't call me Izzy. Ugh." I saw my mismatched luggage slowly circling its way around and leapt forward to grab it before it was out of my sight again.

"Oh, well excuse the hell out of me for using the nickname you've had since we were little," he said playfully, shoving me. I practically toppled over.

"Christ, Emmett you're gonna give me a bruise!"

"Oh stop being such a baby." Even though it had been a total of about three minutes since Emmett and I were reunited and he was already giving me a hard time, I couldn't help but laugh at him. It was nice to know that some things never changed. It comforted me to know that I still had him. He threw my suitcases on a luggage cart and headed outside.

"Where's your car?"

"You're looking at it," he replied, a little smug.

"That monstrosity is yours? What happened to the Honda?"

"I got rid of it," he shrugged.

"So, a Hummer was obviously the next choice. I'm gonna need a step stool to get into this thing."

He finished loading my luggage in the back, picked me up and practically threw me into the passenger seat.

"God, Emmett! Are you trying to kill me?"

"It's not my fault you're a midget." He slid in behind the wheel and I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. This was going to be the longest two hours of my life. I pulled out my iPod and rested my head on the back of the seat, closing my eyes and hoping I'd be able to nap to make the time go by, but all I could see was Jacob's face in my head the day I told him I was leaving.

Rosalie had helped me pack up everything as quickly as I could the night I had found Jake at the bar with Leah even though she had to get up early the next morning for work. Jake didn't stumble in until nearly three in the morning. He took one look at the mess and my suitcases and made some sort of disgusted noise in the back of his throat.

"What's all this shit?" he sneered at me.

"I'm leaving you Jacob. I'm moving to Forks with my brother." I waited for him to explode. To cuss me out and throw things. Hell, maybe to even beg me not to leave and apologize and tell me he loved me. But what he actually did was far worse than anything I could have ever imagined. Nothing. He didn't say a word or make any sort of gesture that he was even remotely sorry I was leaving. He simply shook his head at me, turned and walked back out. The next four days at the apartment were absolutely miserable. Waiting for Sunday to come when I could runaway and start my life over felt like it was never going to happen. Four whole days and he said not one word to me. Not even goodbye.

I cleared my throat and tried to fight back the tears. I promised myself I was not going to cry over Jacob Black anymore. Actually, if I was going to be honest with myself, I wasn't even crying over losing him or having a broken heart. The tears were out of frustration. I was angry with myself for letting this happen. For being so foolish and naïve and not even having the slightest clue that he had been cheating on me but, mostly, the tears were because of the rejection I felt. I thought that I had been a damn good girlfriend to him, but apparently I wasn't. The thought of knowing I wasn't good enough to keep him is what actually broke me down. I opened my eyes and my earbuds out, stealing a glance at Emmett who was now doing what could only be assumed as an interpretive dance to a Justin Timberlake song. He was lip-synching all the words and doing his best impression of the music video, all while driving. I chuckled to myself. Even though he annoyed the hell out of me, he was the best brother anyone could have ever asked for. Not only had he insisted on paying to have all of my stuff at the apartment loaded into a moving truck and hauled all the way to Forks, he had also found me a place to live and a job. I reached over and turned down the radio.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" he looked like a little kid who had his toy taken away from him. Instead of getting pissed at him for always having an attitude I reached out and grabbed his hand and his eyes immediately softened.

"I just wanted to say thanks Emmett. I mean, I don't know how you did it, but you made this entire move about as easy as it could possibly be. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you." I felt myself starting to get choked up and he just grinned and shrugged.

"You're my baby sister. It's my job. I'm supposed to look out for you. I'm sorry you couldn't get enrolled in any classes yet, but the semester already started so…" he trailed off. I glanced back at him and I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew the death of our parents had been just as hard on him as it had been for me. It wasn't fair that he always had to be the strong one.

"Well, regardless, I still want you to know how much I appreciate all of this. I'm just glad they're letting me stay in off campus housing without actually attending the school yet. I mean, what did ya do? Give the dean a blow job?"

He sighed and shook his head."You act like I got you into the space program or some shit. It's no big deal. I have connections," he laughed, the cocky Emmett that I know and love surfacing again. I shook my head at him and turned the radio back up. He resumed his Justin Timberlake impression immediately and I couldn't help but join him. Laughing and goofing off felt so good. I hadn't felt this carefree in months. I felt like a kid again. All Emmett and I did when we were little was sing and dance with each other and do lousy impersonations of cheesy boy bands, making the other laugh until we were in tears rolling on the floor.

He pulled into a gas station and I slipped on my blue jacket, pulling up the hood and throwing the door open. It was raining. I was definitely going to miss the sunny Florida weather. I jumped down out of the Hummer and nearly fell on my face. I slammed the door behind me and headed off towards the little convenience store praying they had a bathroom. After doing my business and buying a Snapple, I trudged back off into the rain and climbed back inside the Hummer. As soon as I got in I recognized the old Boyz II Men song blaring through the speakers and immediately started cracking up.

"Do you remember the dance we made up to this?" Emmett asked me over top the loud bass.

"Oh my God! I was just thinking about that!"

He pulled back out on to the highway and we were both singing at the tops of our lungs.

~ooo~

"Hey Izzy, wake up. We're almost home," Emmett whispered as he nudged me in the ribs. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes, looking out the window into the dark night sky.

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

"Only about an hour."

"What time is it?"

"It's almost 8:30. We only have a few more minutes till we get there so do you wanna stay with me tonight or do you wanna go ahead and check out your new place?"

Wow. My new place. I couldn't help but feel a little excited at the thought of actually getting to start over. I had to admit, I was nervous as hell though. Living with a complete stranger, starting a new job in a brand new town…

"Bella?" Emmett snapped me out of my daydream.

"Um, I guess I might as well go to my new place. I mean, all my stuff's there and it would probably be rude of me not to go and introduce myself to my roommate and-"

"Her name's Alice." Emmett cut me off. "She's really nice. And she seems pretty smart too," he said with a grin.

"Ooookaaay. Thanks for the heads-up. Geez, it sounds like you have a thing for her," I accused, straightening myself up in my seat.

"I wouldn't necessarily say "a thing", but if I were to be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing what her face looks like when she scr-"

"Ok, eew," I cut him off. "I do not need to hear about your sexual conquests. Especially when they involve my new roommate. You're such a perv."

"Oh, Bella grow up. Stop being such a prude," he said rolling his eyes.

"I am not a prude!" I scoffed.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Oh, so what, because I don't believe in sleeping around and I can actually stay in a committed relationship without cheating on someone that makes me a prude? Am I the only one that's not a giant whore?" I was starting to lose my calm and I wasn't really sure why.

"Whoa. Easy killer. I was only kidding with you. Geez."

I sighed deeply and struggled to collect myself. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Touchy subject I guess."

"Well, calm your little ass down. We're here." Emmett pulled the Hummer into a spot at the end of a long row of cars, hopped out and started pulling my luggage out of the back. I pulled my jacket back on, combed through my hair a few times with my fingers and took some deep breaths. I was starting to freak out. Could I do this? I swallowed against the lump in my throat and nearly jumped out of the seat when Emmett ripped my door open."You ready?" he asked, saddled down with every single one of my bags and not even breaking a sweat.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Please, Bella, try to contain yourself," he smirked sarcastically. I carefully climbed out of the Hummer and followed him down the sidewalk, up to the front of my new building. He hit the buzzer next to the name 'Brandon, Alice' and waited for her to give him the clearance to go in. A couple of seconds later I heard a "Who is it?" come through on the little speaker.

"It's Emmett and Bella," he spoke back into the box.

"Oh, awesome! I'm so glad you're finally here Bella! Come on up guys!" I had never heard someone sound so excited at the thought of meeting a complete stranger. I followed Emmett through the glass door and down a long hallway with dark gray carpet. I stepped up to Alice's front door, my front door, and it swung open as Emmett raised his fist to knock.

"Hey guys! I'm so excited you're here. Don't worry Bella, all of your stuff has been moved down into your apartment and your bed's all set up."

"Um, th-thanks," I stammered, not sure what to make of Alice. She was absolutely beautiful with her dark bob and delicate features. She looked like she belonged off in Paris somewhere modeling clothes on a high fashion runway. Saying she was fashionable would have been an understatement. She was wearing a black, sleeveless, silk shirt with ruffles on the chest, skinny jeans and black pumps with studs on the heel. My old band t-shirt, worn out jeans and Converse sneakers made me feel seriously under-dressed.

"Well, are you guys gonna stand out there all night or are you coming inside?" she asked sounding excited; her eyes growing wide.

"Isn't she great?" Emmett whispered as we made our way into her living room. I looked at him in disbelief and threw my bag to the floor.

"Come on Bella, I'll show you your apartment!" Alice said grabbing me by my hand and pulling me through her apartment into mine. My living room looked pathetic with the one lone chair in the corner and boxes stacked practically to the ceiling. I sighed heavily, dreading all of the work that I had ahead of me.

"Don't worry Bella, I'll help you. One person couldn't possibly do all of this work by themselves." She gave me a grin; flashing her perfect, straight, white teeth. I couldn't help but smile in return.

"What do you-I mean, how did you…" I trailed off, not being able to finish my sentence. It was like Alice could read my mind or something.

"Let's go check out your room!" she said enthusiastically, tugging on my hand again. We stepped into my new bedroom and I quickly realized how ridiculous my bed was in this tiny room. There was barely any space to walk. But me leaving Jake with no bed had made me feel slightly better when I left, so I guess I could learn to live with it.

"Hey Bells, I know we just got here and everything, but I'm really exhausted and I have work early tomorrow, so is it cool if I take off?" Emmett asked, throwing my suitcases on the bed. I didn't really want him to leave me just yet, but I knew I was a big girl and needed to handle this on my own.

"Yeah, that's fine. I really, really appreciate everything Emmett. Thank you so much." I crossed the room to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he blushed a little and squeezed my arm.

"It's no big deal. Call my cell if you need anything. Do you want me to swing by tomorrow after I get off of work?"

"I wish, but tomorrow's my first day at the new job and I have to go in at one for training and then work my first shift, but I'll give you a call."

"Okay B. Have a good night."

Alice and I followed him back through my apartment, down the hall into Alice's living room and to the door.

"Good night Alice," he said with a wink before he left. My brother the pimp.

Alice and I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before she asked if I was hungry.

"Uh, yeah actually I'm starving." My stomach growled as if on cue and she chuckled and grabbed her coat from the closet.

"Come on, I can show you around a little bit and we can grab something to eat. That sound okay?"

"Definitely. That would be great." It was so easy to talk to Alice. She was so happy and perky and usually the type of person that I absolutely couldn't stand to be around, but something about her put my nerves to rest.

~ooo~

I slammed my fist down on the mattress and sighed out loud dramatically. It was nearly three o'clock in the damn morning and I still hadn't had any sleep yet. I rolled over onto my stomach and began playing the evening's events over in my head. Alice had driven all around Forks, showing me the high school where she graduated from, a few shops and tourist attractions and the Forks Coffee Shop/Restaurant which would be my new place of employment in less than 12 hours, then she headed to Port Angeles and we had decided on an obscure little diner where we surprisingly wound up sitting and talking for a good two hours. I normally had trouble opening up to people, especially strangers, but Alice was different. She told be all about her job as an intern for an executive at a high fashion label, (go figure) right here in Port Angeles, her likes and dislikes; food, music, movies, etc. and I quickly realized we had a lot more in common than I would have previously thought. After discovering that we both had a sick fan-girl obsession with Kings Of Leon, she invited me to a concert of theirs she was going to three months from now and I happily obliged. Thank goodness I still had money in my would-be-college-fund to drain through in times like these. This was quickly turning into a beautiful friendship. She asked me what made me decide to move to Forks and I told her about my parents and 'the accident', finishing with the night I caught Jake cheating on me and by the end of my sob story she was fighting back tears and reached her tiny hand across the table to grab mine.

"Bella, I am so, so sorry that you've had to go through all of that. You are an incredibly strong person and you deserve so much better. That Jake guy sure sounds like an asshole."

I laughed out loud at her. I couldn't help it. Seeing how tiny and delicate and feminine she was, paired with the fire in her eyes and the curse words coming from her mouth, it didn't quite match up.

"Thanks Alice. You know, it feels great to finally talk about all of this with someone other than Emmett. I know that all of this has been just as hard for him, but he never once breaks down in front of me. I'd be so lost without him."

I awoke with a start as the alarm on my cell phone went off right by my head and I nearly peed myself from the shock. I slowly dragged myself out of bed and headed for the shower. My mind was already racing with the millions of things I had to do today and I was mentally checking off a list as I stripped out of my purple tank and matching boy shorts and climbed into the steaming shower. First and foremost, I needed to head into Port Angeles and see if I could find myself a car. It would definitely have to be a used one, seeing as how this move was already seriously depleting my account. I had to almost completely furnish my entire apartment since Jacob was a dick and insisted on keeping all of our furniture even though it had been bought on my credit card. Some things weren't worth fighting over. Hopefully my furniture would arrive by Saturday like it had said online. I hopped out of the shower, toweled off and quickly hurried to my bedroom to get dressed. I pulled on a pair of faded jeans, white t-shirt and plain, black hoodie and slipped into my Chucks. Throwing my damp hair up into a messy bun, I headed to the kitchen and yanked open the fridge in search of some food. Oh, right, I still needed to go grocery shopping. I sighed as my stomach growled and headed out of my apartment into Alice's and towards the front door.

It was only 8:30, but there Alice sat, perched high on a stool at the breakfast counter, with her little legs dangling over the edge, dressed like she was ready for a photo shoot. She was wearing black leggings paired with a form-fitting, one-shoulder, gray sweater, silver ballet flats and silver hoop earrings. I, once again, felt way underdressed. She noticed me taking her in and gave me the perkiest smile I had ever seen this early in the morning.

"Hey Bella! How'd you sleep last night?" she asked me cheerfully.

"Uh, I had some trouble falling asleep at first, but pretty good for the most part."

"That's good. And where are you headed off to this early in the morning?"

"Oh, well, I figured I'd head to Port Angeles and see if I could find a few used car dealerships and I need to do some grocery shopping before I head to work so…" I trailed off, not really sure how to complete my thought.

"And how were you planning on getting there?" She eyed me suspiciously.

"I called a cab. Should be here in a couple of minutes."

"That is nonsense Bella. I will take you myself."

"No, no. Don't worry about it. It's fine."

"Bella, seriously. Do you know how much money you'll spend having your ass carted around town all day in a cab?"

"I hadn't really thought of that," I said, feeling sheepish. "But, don't you have to go to work?"

"Nope. I took the day off. Besides, I could use a shopping partner." She grinned, with a little sparkle in her eye.

"Okay, well if you're sure you don't mind."

"Not even a little bit." She rinsed her plate in the sink and stuck it in the dishwasher, grabbed her purse and keys and we headed out. I was definitely not used to having people do things for me without expecting something in return.

~ooo~

After spending a good three hours in Port Angeles, I was headed home behind the wheel of my brand new truck. Well, new to me. It had literally been the first car I spotted on the lot and I knew immediately I had to have it. It wasn't attractive by any means. In fact, it looked like the prototype for old, Chevy pickups with its peeling and faded paint, but it looked almost identical to a truck my dad had when I was growing up and it seemed like a tangible way to hold on to his memory a little bit longer. I pulled up in front of the apartment building, grabbed my grocery bags off the front seat and hurried inside so I could get ready for my first day at work. I didn't have to wear a uniform, thankfully, but I was informed that I had to dress in all black, which proved to be a bigger challenge to me than I had originally thought. I mean, I wanted to look professional since it was my first day, but didn't want to appear to be trying too hard since it was only a coffee shop after all. I finally settled on a pair of straight-legged, black pants and a form fitting, black, scoop-neck tee and, of course, my Chucks. I tugged my hair out of the rubber band and it now fell in loose waves down my back. I applied a little mascara and some lip-gloss, headed back through the apartment and called a goodbye to Alice as I went out the door.

I pulled in front of the coffee shop about 20 minutes before I was supposed to start training and took the time to try and calm myself down. I had no idea why I was so nervous, but suddenly my palms were sweating and my mouth was dry; I felt like I couldn't breathe. This is exactly why I usually avoided meeting new people. I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and convinced myself to leave my cozy, little truck and walk inside. As soon as I entered I heard bells over my head tinkling against the glass, making me jump a little. I glanced around nervously and noticed a tiny stage on the far side of the room with a sign that said: "Open Mic Night, Monday July 13th at 7:00". Great. That's tonight, which means it'll probably be busy in here later which means I'll have even more customers to wait on which means I'm going to have a panic attack.

I walked with shaky legs over to the counter and looked around for any sign of someone who worked here. Pushing through the swinging door behind the counter, a baby-faced looking boy with sparkling blue eyes and way too much gel in his spiky blonde hair, sauntered toward me.

"Hey, you're Isabella Swan, the new girl, right?" He extended his hand.

"Um, it's just Bella, but yeah I'm here," I replied lamely.

"Well, it's great to meet you Bella." He put emphasis on the Bella, smirking at me."I'm Mike Newton and I'm pretty much in charge around here."

"Oh, please. You're like assistant to the assistant manager. The only thing you're in charge of is making sure there isn't any mold on the muffins," a blonde girl called from behind the counter said. I sighed quietly to myself. Apparently, I was going to be working with one of Hef's playmates. The girl was pretty, which immediately made me self-conscience, but upon closer inspection, she was way too tan and her hair was practically see-through it was so bleached out. If she had been any faker she could have been packaged in Taiwan.

"I'm Jessica by the way. You're from Florida right?"

"Uh, yeah that's right."

"Aren't people from Florida supposed to be, like, really tan?"

I smiled politely at her and she laughed the most annoying, high-pitched, cat-in-a-blender-laugh I had ever heard, like she had just cracked the world's greatest joke.

"Hi. I'm Angela." A slender girl with long, dark brown hair and glasses greeted me from behind Jessica. She was so quiet I hadn't even seen her there.

"Hi I'm Bella. Nice to meet you."

"Well, Bella, Jessica here is going to be training you and hopefully preparing you enough that you'll be either be running the register or waiting tables tonight. We're having open mic night so we're expecting a big rush. Think you're up for it?" He grinned and I swallowed the lump now forming in my throat at the thought of a crowd coming in here.

"Y-yes. I think so," I said timidly.

"Alrighty then. Well, your break is at six and you get a half hour. Jessica will show you where the employee break room is and where you can put your bag." Mike walked to the other side of the counter and began stacking the newspapers and magazines. I followed Jessica and Angela behind the counter, through the swinging door into the kitchen/stock room.

"Here. This is your apron or smock or whatever the hell you wanna call it. It's mandatory to wear it at all times while you're on the clock blah blah blah. And this is your name-tag. It says Isabella so I guess you're just gonna have to suck up and deal because Victoria is way too cheap to have another one made for you." Wow, Jessica was kind of a bitch.

"Um, who's Victoria?" I asked quietly, trying to keep up with her as she showed me how to clock in on the computer and tell me where everything was.

"Victoria is our boss," she said, rolling her eyes and talking to me as if I was an ignorant child. What exactly is her problem? She was treating me as if I had done something to her. I had been here for all of five minutes and I already managed to piss someone off. This was going to be a long night.

~ooo~

Lucky for me, time had passed by rather quickly and before I knew it, it was break time. I bought a bagel and an iced, mocha coffee with my new employee discount and headed back to the break room. I jumped a little at the door slamming shut behind me and whirled around to find Mike standing there, giving me the cheesiest grin ever.

"So, Bella, how's everything going?" he asked, sitting just a little too close in the chair next to me.

"It's good. Can't really complain."

"Glad to hear it. Have any questions?" He seemed so eager just to have something to say to me.

"No, not really. Jessica's been really helpful," I replied, trying not to sound too bitchy.

"Good, good. So, uh, got any plans this weekend?" Plans? Is he going to ask me out on a date? I pretended my mouth was too full to answer right away, buying myself some time to figure out a response.

"Well, you know I still have a lot of stuff to unpack. Just trying to get settled in my new place."

"Oh, all of that can wait. I'm having a party this weekend and you should definitely come." Somehow he had managed to scoot his chair even closer when I wasn't looking.

"I dunno…"

"Oh come on Bella. You're the new girl in town. I can introduce you to some people. Show you a good time."

Crap. How was I going to get out of this one? I didn't want to seem rude, especially since it was my first day and it wouldn't kill me to meet some more people…"I'll think about it," I said, trying my best to not sound like I was lying. Just then, Jessica came in, saw how close Mike was to me and gave me another eye roll before flipping her hair and storming back through the door.

Great.

~ooo~

The rest of the night drug on painfully slow and I was seriously considering stabbing myself with the bagel knife so I would have an excuse to leave. The open mic night wasn't helping matters either. Person after person climbed the tiny stage, did their nauseatingly bad rendition of a song that they probably had no clue who sung and strutted off like they had just won American Idol. I weaved my way through the crowded tables offering refills on coffee and cleaning up after a toddler who insisted on picking every single raisin out of her muffin and chucking it on the ground. Between dealing with all of that, the splitting headache that was slowly consuming me and the dirty looks Jessica was shooting me from the other side of the room I was starting to think I didn't need a job after all and then, I heard him. At first I thought someone had finally come to their senses and turned on the radio, but once I recognized the song I slowly spun around to see the most heartbreakingly beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on in my entire life. He was sitting on top of the stool strumming the chords to one of the saddest songs I had ever heard. He had messy, bronze sex hair going in every direction on top of his gorgeous head. His eyes were cast down towards the guitar; long, thick eyelashes splayed out against his cheekbones, his full lips set into a pout while he concentrated on the notes. I could feel my heart sputtering in my chest and my breathing was becoming quicker and more erratic. I had never in my life experienced a feeling like this. It was as if the air was electrically charged and there was a magnetic pull stronger than God himself drawing me towards this man that a few short minutes ago I had no idea existed. What was happening to me? I couldn't stop myself from staring. He was like a beautiful piece of art displayed in a museum that you wanted to study for hours on end and commit every single detail to memory.

From the way the faintest pink blush colored his cheeks as he became more passionate with the song, to his long fingers strumming each chord with precision and the smooth, hard planes of his chest straining against his form-fitting black t-shirt. I even noticed the fact that we were both wearing the same shoes. I don't know how long I stood there observing; minutes? Hours? Days? Time did not exist in this moment and then he looked up and his deep, green, emerald eyes pierced me into my very soul. I almost couldn't hear him now over the thudding of my heart, which I was sure he could probably hear even across the room. I tried to look away, but that thought alone was almost painful. The song was just about over and I hadn't even realized I was crying until he snapped his head away from mine looking angry. I tried to wipe the tears away and busied myself by wiping down the counter. The tiny shop erupted with cheers and applause and he mumbled a thank you as he ran off the stage. I noticed he was heading over in this direction. Oh my God. And he looked upset. He probably thought I was a giant freak for the way I had been staring at him like some sort of crazy groupie. He stood at the opposite end of the counter, bought a bottle of water from Angela and started heading for the door. I chanced a look at him one last time and noticed Mike was talking with him and throwing sly glances at me over his shoulder as they spoke. Were they talking about me?

I saw Jessica eyeing him up and waving goodbye and figured I'd better start kissing her ass if I wanted to find out who that gorgeous man was. What the hell had gotten into me?

"Hey Jess?" I smiled sweetly at her.

"Yeah?" she barely turned to look at me.

"Um, I just wanted to ask you where you got your top? It's really cute and not to be weird or anything, but it makes your boobs look great." Not that I was convinced those were her boobs. Apparently, buttering up the ice queen was something I should have done hours ago because now I could not get her to shut up. She told me all about the cute, little trendy boutique she got her top from and spent ridiculous amounts of money on but "it was like totally worth it" because it was the same one Katy Perry was spotted in when she was walking her dog or some stupid shit like that. I pretended to listen and smile and nod at appropriate intervals, silently praying that she would shut up so I could ask her about the mystery man. After five more minutes of her telling me I should definitely wear more makeup or get a tan "or something" because "I had the potential to be pretty" she finally broke for air.

"So, um, who was that guy you were waving to? You know, the one that Mike was talking with?" Subtlety was not one of my best qualities.

"That's Edward Masen. He's gorgeous, obviously, but apparently none of the girls around here are good enough for him." She was clearly bitter. I noticed Angela glaring at her from across the counter and couldn't help but be a little surprised. She seemed so sweet and quiet.

"Actually, Bella, I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend," Angela said, still shooting daggers

."Oh, really? I hadn't heard that," Jessica replied. My heart sunk a little at the thought of Edward having someone. Okay. I am officially insane. Why did I care so much about a complete stranger's dating history? Didn't I have enough to worry about with being in a new town at a new job and not to mention the fact I had broken up with my boyfriend of two years a few short days ago? But I couldn't help myself. The feelings that I experienced just being in the same room with Edward were stronger than anything I had ever felt in all my years with Jacob.

"You should totally talk to him Bella. I'm pretty sure he's gonna be at Mike's party so that would be a perfect opportunity."

"But I thought you said he wasn't interested in anyone from around here?"

"I did. But you're not from around here now are you?" Why was Jessica suddenly being so nice to me? And why did I have the feeling I was being set up? Angela shook her head and stomped off into the kitchen. What was going on?

"So, what do you say Bella? You coming to the party?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess. Do you think it would be okay if I bring my roommate with me?"

"Absolutely. The more the merrier," she said in her saccharin voice. I had no idea what had just transpired in the past 15 minutes but I didn't care. I did know that I needed to see Edward Masen again and I was going to that party.

~ooo~

The rest of my week pretty much flew by. I had come home from my first night at work to find that Alice, bless her heart, had unpacked almost every single one of my boxes, organized my closet and set up my bedroom. When I cornered her about how she had managed to get everything done in such a short amount of time she told me how Emmett and Edward had come over to help her and I almost died on the spot.

"Wait wait wait wait. Edward? As in Edward Masen?"

"Uh yeah. I think that's his last name. Why? You know him?" Alice was now looking at me like I had lost my mind and, in a way, I had.

"No, not technically, but he was in the coffee shop tonight singing and God, he has the most incredible voice and this sexy, messy hair that I just want to run my fingers through and these amazing green eyes that just sort of…" I stopped myself, realizing I was gushing about a complete stranger. I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks.

"Damn Bella. Sounds like you got it bad for Masen," Alice giggled.

"Wait. How do _you_ know him?" I couldn't believe Edward had been in my room, in my apartment and I hadn't even known it. God, I need to calm down.

"Well, I don't really know him all that well. Your brother introduced us," she replied with a shrug. I almost had a heart attack.

"He knows Emmett?" my voice was getting higher now.

"God Bella, don't have an aneurysm. I called Emmett and asked him if he would come over and help me move your dresser and organize your room and stuff and he said something like there was no way he was letting me move heavy furniture so he brought Edward with him to help. So, I'm assuming they're pretty good friends." After grilling Alice for at least another 20 minutes, I told her about Mike's party and she agreed to come with me only if I let her, and I quote, "play dress up" with me. I didn't really see any other way out of this and there was no way I could show up to that party alone looking like a loser, so I finally agreed.

My week was absolutely miserable after that. Every day I crossed my fingers and hoped that Edward would make another appearance and I'd get to see his perfect face again to make sure that I hadn't imagined him. But every day, no Edward. There was, however, Mike hounding me relentlessly to ensure I was coming to his party. I was starting to get worried I was giving him the wrong impression about my feelings towards him. He didn't need much encouragement for his thoughts to head in the wrong direction. I also had the pleasure of dealing with Jessica's mock sweetness every day, combined with the whispers and snickers to Angela when she thought I wasn't paying attention. I had never seen someone have so many mood swings. I was starting to think she was actually bipolar.

Friday was the longest day of my life. I worked the early shift and 5 o'clock could not come fast enough. I threw my apron on the hook in the back, grabbed my purse, clocked out and raced for the door.

"What's the big rush Bella? You got a hot date tonight?" Jessica smirked at me. Hadn't she been the one that suggested I go to the party and talk to Edward? I pretended not to hear her and gave a wave to Angela as I hurried to my truck. Wait a minute. Speaking of dates…I had been so preoccupied with work and my new-found obsession with Edward that I had completely forgotten the fact that Alice had mentioned the other day she had a date tonight. How selfish am I? She had seemed so excited, but now she was going to the party with me instead. I seriously hoped she hadn't cancelled her plans just for me, or worse, that the guy hadn't bailed on her.

I pulled up in front of our building, thoughts of Edward racing through my mind. What if he thought I was some kind of crazy stalker and didn't want to talk to me? What if he didn't even show up? What if Angela was right and he does have a girlfriend? That last thought made me a little sick to my stomach and I had no idea why. Well, I knew why, but I didn't understand. The thought of Edward being with another woman made me jealous and I hadn't even spoken to him. How could this even be possible? There was no way I was ready to be with someone. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship. Wasn't I supposed to be "living it up" or some other stupid, cliché shit they said you did when you were single? I hurried up the steps and unlocked the door with a sigh. Maybe I just shouldn't even go to this stupid party. I should just keep admiring Edward from afar and realize that something happening between us was better left as a fantasy. And if I were going to be completely honest with myself, what would someone like him want with me anyway? I know I'm not hideously deformed or anything, but he puts us mere mortals to shame. He has the face of an angel and the body of a Greek God. I was just plain, old Bella. I pulled my cell out of my bag and tried calling Emmett for the hundredth time to see if he was coming to this party, but it went straight to voice mail again. He probably forgot to charge it. Typical.

I could hear the loud bass coming through the speakers in my apartment and I made my way through to find Alice wearing a big ratty t-shirt with curlers in her hair and an armful of clothing. She still looked like a supermodel.

"Hey, what's going?" I yelled to her over the music and she jumped, dropping all of the clothes to the floor.

"God, Bella you scared the shit out of me!" She bent down and scooped the clothes back up, tossing them onto my bed. "It's about time you got home, we only have three hours before the party!" she huffed.

"Um, what exactly are you planning on doing to me? It's not like I'm going to prom or something." I was starting to get a little worried.

"Oh, Bella will you just have a little faith in me? You wanna look good for Edward, right?" she replied with a wink.

"Alice, do you think I'm completely insane?" I questioned, throwing my bag on the bed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, with this whole Edward thing. I've only seen him once, never even met him, but he's all I can think about. I've never felt such a strong attraction to anyone in my entire life. Not even with Jake. And I just feel like I'm getting my hopes up for nothing. I mean, first of all he's gorgeous, what are the chances of him being single and straight?" She laughed out loud, sitting next to me on the bed."I shouldn't even be thinking about other guys. I just got out of a relationship."

"Bella, there's no set time limit on when you should like someone after you get out of a relationship. It's called chemistry. It's that insane, invisible force that draws you to someone without rhyme or reason. Edward seemed like a really great guy when I met him and, I don't know, I just have a really good feeling about this," she said as she stared off into space.

"Good feeling about what?"

"You and Edward. I don't know why, but for some reason I can see you two together. I really think things are going to work out for the best. Now stop worrying your pretty little head because after I'm through with you he won't know what hit him."

I don't know how she did it. This girl that I had known for not even a whole week was quickly becoming one of the best friends I had, aside from Rose. She always managed to put everything into perspective for me.

"Now hurry up and take a shower, but don't wash your hair. It'll hold the curl better if it's not super clean," she said, nudging me off the bed. I climbed into the shower, feeling the hot water relax all the tension in my body immediately. Maybe I did worry too much. See, there I go again. I was worrying about worrying. I washed and shaved my legs quickly, careful not to get my hair wet, wrapped up in my robe and headed back into my room. Alice had several outfits that I had never seen before laid out on my bed.

"Um, Alice, where did all of these come from?" I would die if she had gone out and bought me a new wardrobe.

"Bella, I work for a fashion label. Free clothes are just one of the many perks."

Wow. No wonder she always looked so amazing.

"Here," she said throwing a tiny, pink bag at me.

"What's this?"

"Just some new bras and underwear." I just stared at her blankly, not sure how to respond to that."Free of course. Plus, you'll feel so much sexier if you're wearing sexy underwear, trust me." She smiled confidently. I just shook my head and did as she told me, pulling out a black, lacy push-up bra and matching thong. I threw my robe back on over top and Alice got to work. After she applied moisturizer, primer and sheer powder to my face, she put a little bit of smoky brown eye shadow on my lids and tons of mascara, finishing up with some bronzer on my cheeks and lip gloss. Next, she took random sections of my hair and wrapped them around the outside of a curling iron, giving me big sexy waves that looked like I just gotten back from the beach.

"Hey Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"Weren't you supposed to have a date tonight?" I asked as she worked some sort of sticky goop through my curls.

"I did. Well, I still do. He actually really wanted to go to the party too and once he found out that I was interested in going we just decided to hang out there together instead of going on an actual date."

"Are you sure? You're not just saying that because I practically forced you to come?"

"No way Bella. You don't think you're that special do you?" she said with a wink.

"So, who is this mystery man?"

"Mystery? I thought he told you."

"Who? Told me what?" my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Well, damn. I guess he left all the awkwardness up to me. My date's with Emmett, Bella," she practically whispered. She actually looked frightened. I sat there in silence for a few moments, messing with her a little bit. I guess she was assuming I was one of those jealous, overprotective sisters that thought no woman was good enough for my big brother. "Alice, I cannot believe you have a date with Emmett-" I paused, leaving her hanging for a couple more seconds until I couldn't fight back the smile anymore, "-and you didn't tell me!"

She let out a huge gust of air and was practically shaking with relief. "So, you're okay with this then?" she asked, still a little timid.

"Of course I am." I smiled back. "Alice, I think you're a wonderful person and Emmett should consider himself lucky to have even landed a date with someone like you."

"Thanks Bella." She grinned."Okay, time for the big reveal!"

I slowly turned to look at myself in the mirror and couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't stop staring at myself. Not that I was vain or anything, I just couldn't believe it was me I was seeing. I had never felt so pretty and put together before. I felt confident and sexy. Maybe I did have a shot with Edward after all. I quickly shook that thought from my head. I definitely didn't need to get my hopes up.

"Alright, time to get dressed." She had finally settled on my outfit and just looking at it made me feel uneasy. It was a plain, black, corset tank-top thingy that combined with the black push-up bra, gave me ridiculous cleavage, distressed jeans with the cuffs rolled up on the ends and black wedges. I couldn't decide if it was my boobs hanging out or the thought of walking in those death traps called shoes that made me feel more like I was going to throw up. I turned around and Alice was dressed too in a tight, light gray t-shirt dress with a wide black belt around her waist and black gladiator sandals. She looked incredible. She began pulling the curlers out of her hair and they had given her amazing volume, making her sleek bob look full and sexy. She touched up her makeup and the closer we got to actually going to this party, the more I could feel the butterflies and the sweaty palms.

"Okay, you all set?" Alice asked me, looking hyper and excited.

"Yep," I replied as casually as I could, not wanting to let her know how ridiculous I was feeling over this whole situation.

"Just be glad I didn't make you wear a dress," she smirked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Bella, I know we've only known each other for a few days, but you're a terrible liar. You wear your feelings all over your face. I can tell you're nervous about tonight and about how you look, but you need to stop. You are a gorgeous girl and any guy would be lucky to even have you in their presence."

"Thanks Alice." We had both agreed that Alice should drive since she had already been to a few of Mike's parties and knew how to get there already. As soon as we got in her car, she rolled down the windows and started blasting her iPod. I immediately recognized the upbeat Lady Gaga song coming through the speakers and I started dancing in my seat and singing. The car ride had put my nerves to rest until we pulled up in front of Mike's house and she cut the engine. She hopped out of the car and I had no choice but to follow unless I wanted to walk into that party by myself. She was practically sprinting across Mike's front lawn and up the steps to the porch leaving me in her dust. I made my way over as carefully as I could because there was no way I was even attempting to run in these shoes. There were cars lined up all the way down both sides of the street and I could hear the loud music thumping from the house out into the night air. I took a deep breath and headed inside. There were people everywhere. The entire house was packed and there were people spilling out into the backyard. I noticed that Emmett had already spotted Alice and they were huddled close in a corner talking and Alice giggling every 10 seconds. I smiled to myself. They made a cute couple. I just hope my idiot brother doesn't screw things up.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed myself a beer from the cooler so I wasn't standing in the middle of the room anymore looking like I was lost and scanned the crowd for a familiar face. Well, not just any familiar face. Mostly Edward. I saw Jessica over on the opposite side of the living room playing beer pong with a group of people in a low cut, hot pink top that made her orange tan glow even more and a denim skirt that she had probably bought at Baby Gap. She was bending over the table in what she probably thought was a seductive manner, trying to seduce the guys on the opposite team. I saw Angela sitting on the couch talking with some guy covered in tattoos and she looked nervous as hell. I started to make my way over to her and stopped dead in my tracks. It was him. Edward. I saw him through the glass door to the back porch, laughing and joking around with two other guys. I had suddenly forgotten how to breathe and walk and pretty much just function as a human. He was wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled up and jeans and his hair was an absolute mess, just like that first night in the coffee house, but he looked perfect with it. I wanted to run across the room and jump him right there, not even caring who was watching. Or at the very least, casually walk over and introduce myself, but apparently neither one of those things was happening. I chugged the rest of my beer and pulled out another, praying for some liquid courage when I felt a warm arm slide over my shoulders.

"Bella! I'm so glad you made it," Mike slurred at me. Clearly, he had been drinking for a lot longer than I had.

"Hey, Mike. How's it going?" I said trying to casually slide away from him, but he just tightened his grip.

"It's fucking fantastic. That's how it's going." He swayed a little bit and took another sip from his Solo cup."You look fucking hot Bella. Has anyone ever told you that?" His warm breath was now on the back of my neck and I could smell the alcohol on him.

"Hey, Mike I think you've had a little too much. Why don't you take a walk or go lie down or something?" I coaxed him, trying once again to break free.

"I have an even better idea. Why don't you come lie down with me?" He whispered in my ear and I fought the urge to throw up. I started to feel a little panicked, realizing that I didn't actually know Mike all that well and wasn't really sure what he was capable of doing. I looked around, hoping to catch the attention of Alice or Angela, but they were both too engrossed in their conversations.

"Come on Bella. Don't be shy," he slurred again. I could feel his hand slowly moving towards my ass and I was contemplating kneeing him in the balls.

"Bella. There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere!" Edward said sliding himself between Mike and me and slipping an arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I stared up at him in disbelief. How did he know who I was? I mean I know that he's Emmett's friend, but how did he know it was me?

"What the hell Masen? I was just getting ready to give Bella a little tour of my house," Mike said, swaying from side to side and chugging the rest of his cup.

"Bella, were you interested in seeing the rest of Mike's house?" Edward asked, looking down at me through his impossibly long lashes where I was still tucked safely into his side. I still hadn't been able to make any sense of what was happening and couldn't find my voice, so I just shook my head no.

"I didn't think so. Sorry Newton." And before Mike had a chance to get another drunken word out Edward pulled me along with him out onto the back porch and led us over to a few chairs on the far side of the porch and we sat down.

"Hey are you okay?" he asked, turning to me with genuine concern on his face. I could barely breathe. How was this happening? Was Edward Masen actually talking to me? He knew I was alive. He had just saved me from Mike, which probably meant that he had been paying enough attention to me to see that I needed help. I knew I needed to speak before he thought I was a mute or just really rude.

"I'm f-fine," I stammered, not quite able to look him in the eyes."How do you know who I am?" I blurted out and he smiled, the most earth shattering, crooked smile and it felt like my heart was going to explode through my chest.

"I'm friends with your brother, Emmett. He talks about you all the time and I helped him move some stuff around your apartment. I saw a picture of you and Emmett in your room and then I saw you the other night in the coffee shop and I put two and two together. I'm Edward by the way," he said, extending his hand for a shake. I couldn't help but smile back at him and I put my hand in his, feeling a surge of electricity pass between us that was so powerful I jumped a little from the shock. I just sat there, staring at him in all of his glory. He cleared his throat a little breaking me out of my trance and chuckled under his breath.

"So, Bella how are you enjoying Forks?" The sound of my name coming from his perfect mouth was like a symphony that had been written just for me.

"Um, it-it's good. Can't say I don't miss the sun though." I could feel myself relaxing a little. Talking with Edward seemed easy and natural. I don't know how long we sat there, but before I knew it we were completely immersed in conversation. People came and went through the tiny door to the house, laughing and joking and drunkenly singing to whatever song came on the radio, but none of it mattered. He and I were off in our own little world. Completely wrapped up in each other. He asked me all about my life in Florida; my friends, what I did in my spare time, my favorite food and movies, music…everything he could possibly think of. I couldn't remember the last time I had talked with someone, especially a guy, that seemed so genuinely interested in what I had to say. He told me a little about himself too and we realized we both had similar taste in music and movies.

"So, aren't you here with someone? I can't believe your date would let you wander around here alone looking like that?" he smirked at me.

"Looking like what?" I replied playfully. Oh my God, was I actually flirting? I should let Alice dress me more often. He didn't respond. Just shook his head at me with a slight smile on his perfect mouth.

"Actually, I'm single. I left my boyfriend back in Florida. Well, ex…" I trailed off. "And what about you? Your girlfriend actually let you out of her sight with all these half-dressed women around?" I teased back, silently praying he was alone.

He looked down for a minute and sighed, running his fingers through his hair and tugging on the ends a little. Then he looked back up and said, "No, I'm here alone."

He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. The way he would talk with his hands when he was excited about something or the way the light from the porch would reflect off of his perfect bronze hair causing it to shimmer. I never wanted this moment to end. I wanted to sit here and talk with him forever. Learn every possible thing there was to learn about this man. The wind was blowing through my hair, causing a stray piece to blow across my face and he reached out and gently tucked it behind my ear, th feel of his skin on mine sent a little shiver through my whole body. I could feel myself moving closer to him and it was beyond my control. There was a force bigger than the both of us drawing us together and I didn't know how to stop it. His deep green eyes were staring back intently into mine and I could see him slowly moving closer and closer; his lips slightly parted. I wanted him to kiss me so badly, but was I ready for this? I hardly knew this man, we hadn't even been on a date and here I was ready to attack him. I cleared my throat and backed away slightly, trying to think of an excuse.

"Hey, um, I-I should probably go see what Alice is up to. I feel kind of bad. I haven't talked to her even once the whole night," I said lamely. He huffed a little in spite of himself and gave my hand a squeeze sending the electric jolts straight to my heart.

"Okay. Are you coming back?" he questioned with another crooked grin.

"Uh, um yeah. I can. I mean I will if you want me too." I said sounding pathetic. He chuckled at me and simply said: "I'll wait here."

I headed back into the house to see that the party had died down considerably and several people had left. Angela was curled up in a ball, passed out in one of Mike's chairs and Jessica was now sitting in Mike's lap. I couldn't believe he hadn't blacked out yet. Most of Jessica's bra was hanging out of her shirt now and she was actually licking Mike's ear. So disgusting. Those two definitely deserved each other. Things should be nice and awkward between the three of us at work on Monday. I stepped over the tattoo guy passed out on the floor and saw Alice and Emmett at the far end of the room, making out on Mike's futon. If it hadn't been my brother, the sight of them would actually be cute. A few more people were still playing drinking games and I made my way to the bathroom to give myself a once over before heading back to Edward. I couldn't believe how well things had gone for me tonight. I hadn't tripped once in my ridiculous shoes and I was actually talking to Edward. I was proud of myself. Normally something would have gone wrong by now, but maybe Alice was right. She had said that she could see things working out well for Edward and me, maybe they would. We do have a lot in common. He's smart, funny, kind, and considerate. Definitely not gay, I chuckled to myself. He seemed too perfect to be real. There had to be something wrong with him. I tried to shake the negative thoughts out of my head and focus on the fact that for once something was going well for me and I was not going to let all of my worrying ruin this.

I fluffed up my hair, re-applied the lip-gloss I had stuffed in my pocket and headed back out to him. I couldn't stop the smile that I had been trying to hold back, just at the thought of getting to talk to him again and seeing his gorgeous face. I stepped over the drunks and stopped dead in the doorway to the porch. At first, my brain couldn't process what was happening. Flashes of Jake and Leah at the bar played through my mind. There was Edward, sitting in exactly the same spot I had left him in with a tiny girl with strawberry blonde hair, pressing herself against him. I hadn't seen her at the party before. Who was she? I stood there, spying on them, feeling foolish for thinking that Edward would ever be interested in me. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they were talking animatedly and the next thing I knew she grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his. The tears started coming uncontrollably and I had never felt so ridiculous in my entire left. I felt insane for even feeling this way over someone I had just met. But mostly I was crying because Edward had lied. He said he was here alone but clearly he wasn't. I couldn't handle going through this again.

I sprinted back through the living room and out to the front porch. I pulled out my cell and sent Alice a text message, hoping that she had her phone nearby. I didn't want to be awkward and bust up her make-out session with my brother, but I needed to get out of here. Luckily she got my text and I told her I was outside. She came out to find me, took one look at my tear-stained face and scooped me up into a hug.

"Come on sweetie. Let's get you out of here." She quickly said goodbye to Emmett and promised to call him, then walked me to her car and questioned me the whole way home trying to get me to tell her what happened and why I was so upset, but I felt too ridiculous to tell her. We made it back to our apartment building and I thanked her and apologized repeatedly for making her leave, then promised I would talk to her in the morning. I made my way to my room, not bothering to change out of my clothes and threw myself onto my bed, sobbing in my pillow, eventually tiring myself out from the crying and falling into a restless sleep.

That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Masen.

**Okay, don't get pissed off at Edward yet. There is obviously a very reasonable explanation for all of this and he will explain himself in the next chapter. I promise. Let me know what ya think! ;)**


	3. Resistance

**Hey guys! Sorry it took me absolutely forever to update, but I had a lot going on and for some reason it was hard for me to get this chapter exactly the way I wanted it. It's much shorter than the first two chapters, but I really wanted the next one to be from Bella's POV. Hope you guys still enjoy it! Of course I have to thank the BFF Kayelzibub for continuously having my back and supporting me. Obviously all the amazingness that is Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer, I just play with the characters. Also, the feedback that I've gotten so far has been amazing! You guys are awesome. I love hearing what you have to say and I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying my story so far! And on a side note, my brilliant bestie came up with the fabulous idea of naming the chapters after titles of Muse songs in case you were wondering. We're both really into the band and their songs of course influence my writing so it seemed like an obvious choice!**

_You, you want nothing to do with me._

_You, you want nothing to do with me._

_I, I don't know what to do with you 'cause you don't know what you do to me._

_Baby is this love for real?_

_Let me in your arms to feel the beating of your heart baby._

_The beating of your heart baby._

_Beating Hearts Baby-Head Automatica_

**~EDWARD~**

One hour and fifty-eight minutes. That's how long I had been sitting here talking to Bella Swan. How could it be possible that something as perfect as her even exists? Not only was she absolutely breathtaking, but she was smart and funny too. I couldn't believe I was having these feelings about someone that I had just met. We talked about everything; her life back in Florida, her friends, her hobbies and I couldn't bear to take my eyes off of her for even a second. She would giggle and peek up at me through her lashes when she got embarrassed; her cheeks filling with a deep, pink blush that was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. She would bite her lip when she was flustered, trying to come up with an answer for one of the thousands of questions I was throwing at her, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to breathe her, drink her in; learn everything I could possibly learn about this gorgeous woman in front of me. What the hell had happened to me? Her intoxicating scent that couldn't be described as anything other than 'Bella' was washing over me, overpowering all of my senses. Some invisible cosmic force was drawing me closer to her and I couldn't stop myself even if I had wanted to. She leaned closer too, our lips so close I could practically taste her already. Her sweet, warm breath washing over my face. And then she suddenly snapped out of it and pulled herself back, making up some sort of lame excuse to go and check on Alice. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but I already knew I'd wait a lifetime for one kiss from this woman. I told her I would wait for her to come back and that beautiful, soft blush stained her cheeks again. I watched her walk into the house, appreciating the tight jeans that were hugging every curve of her perfect ass. I sat there, smiling to myself, my fantasies of Bella taking over once again. I could hear footsteps approaching from the side of the house and I strained my eyes against the darkness, trying to make out the shadowy figure coming towards me.

"Hey Edward," a voice I never wanted to hear again called to me.

"Tanya, what the hell are you doing here? What do you want?" I said through clenched teeth. I couldn't believe she would even have the balls to come here tonight, much less try to talk to me.

"Oh, Edward I'm so sorry!" She flung herself at me on the chair and we both nearly toppled over.

"Get. Off. Of. Me. Now," I growled at her

"Edward what's wrong? I said I was sorry!"

"Tanya, we had this discussion already. I have nothing more to say to you."

"I don't know why you're acting like this! How many times do I need to apologize? Just let me come home. I know you still love me."

"First of all it's not your home, it's mine and secondly, I'm pretty sure I never actually loved you," I said, still trying to pry her off of me.

"Yes you do. I'll prove it to you!" And before I could stop her she forced her mouth onto mine, her breath reeking of alcohol. Her lips were bitter, poisonous, trying to suck the life from me.

I shoved her off of me and stood up quickly, knocking her to the ground, just in time to see Bella turning and running away.

Shit. No, please no. Please tell me Bella did not just see what happened.

"Bella, wait!" I called after her, but she was too far into the house.

"What the hell Edward? You're already screwing some whore?" Tanya screeched and I fought the urge to punch her in the face and ran into the house, praying I could catch Bella. She was nowhere in sight and I ran through the house searching frantically for her. Emmett caught me by the arm and practically yanked it off of my body.

"What the hell did you do to my little sister?" he said, glaring down at me.

"Nothing! I mean I didn't mean it. It's not-I have to talk to her. Where is she?" I couldn't let her leave thinking that I was purposefully kissing another woman. I had told her I was here alone and now she probably thought I was lying to her.

"She had Alice take her home. Now you better explain to me what's going on and why you made her cry."

Shit. She was crying? The thought of her being hurt by something that I had done made me sick inside. I shoved past Emmett and went into the kitchen, pouring myself three shots in a row.

"Edward, man, slow down, you have to drive. What the hell happened?" He was starting to look concerned.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my hand over my face.

"Alright, look, Bella and I were sitting out back just talking for like two hours and then-"I stopped myself hoping I wasn't going to get punched in the face if I told the next part of my story.

"And then?" He asked, growing impatient.

"And then, well, we almost kissed, but she ran inside and said she needed to check on Alice or something. I stayed out there waiting for her to come back and then fucking Tanya showed up and like literally threw herself at me. She kept begging me to take her back and I told her to get off, but she wouldn't listen, then she grabbed me and kissed me and by the time I pried her off Bella had been standing there watching the whole thing." I kept my eyes focused on the ground, not really wanting to see the expression on Emmett's face.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You have a thing for Bella?" he said slowly, sounding confused.

"It's not just a 'thing', okay? I mean Bella's incredible. She has me going out of my mind over her," I said chancing a look at him. Surprisingly he didn't look like he was going to beat the shit out of me.

"Isn't tonight the first time you two met?" he asked, his brows scrunched together in confusion.

"Technically, yes. This is the first time I've spoken to her, but I saw her in the coffee shop a few nights ago. The moment I laid eyes on her I just, I just knew she was different. Just being in the same room with her I…" I trailed off, afraid I had already said too much.

"Huh," he said.

"Huh? That's all you have to say about all of this?" I said, shaking my head in complete disbelief.

"No, that's not all I have to say about this. I'm just trying to figure all of this out."

I stood there, uncomfortable as hell for what felt like an eternity waiting for him to speak.

"Okay, here's the thing," he said, finally breaking the silence. "I know that you already know this, but Bella has been through a hell of a lot of shit lately. She's a good girl and losing our parents really took a toll on her. She doesn't need to get dicked around on top of it," he said staring at me. "But I also know that you're a good guy Edward and if you say that the two of you almost kissed, then obviously she's into you too." He paused again, collecting his thoughts. "If you had told me a month ago that you could meet someone and in the same night feel that spark with them, that chemistry, I would have told you to stop being a pussy and that you probably just needed to get laid. But, then I met Alice. I get it. I do. I'm not saying I'm ready to walk down the aisle or anything, but I know what you're talking about. When you have that connection with someone you just know."

I could feel my mouth hanging open in shock. Had I just heard those words come from Emmett's mouth? The same Emmett that had at one time had sex with three different girls in one weekend? Hell must have frozen over. Not that I had much room to talk.

"You need to fix this shit. You need to tell Bella what happened with Tanya so she doesn't think you're a dick just like her ex-boyfriend." Emmett told me, nodding in agreement with himself.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I just don't know how. I mean it's not like she's going to listen to me."

"I think she will. She's pretty open-minded. Just be honest with her. Oh and if you do _anything _else to her to make her cry, I will rip your balls off and feed them to you," he said with a smirk, but I knew he was only half kidding.

"Yeah," I said absentmindedly wondering how everything had gone from being so perfect to so fucked up in a matter of minutes.

"Come on, dude let's get out of here before Tanya finds you again."

~ooo~

The entire drive home I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. I wish that she had just let me kiss her, then she never would have gotten up and Tanya wouldn't have fucked everything up for me once again. I couldn't blame Bella though. I knew things were moving way too fast for both of us, considering we had both just gotten out of serious relationships but, at the same time, when you knew you were meant to be with someone, why wait? I must be absolutely out of my damn mind. How could I know that she was meant for me? One meaningful glance across a crowded coffee shop and a two hour conversation at some random party and now I was ready to marry this girl? Well, maybe not marry, but I couldn't see myself staying away from her for long. Any chance I had with her has to be gone by now though. What little trust we had built in that short amount of time was surely broken. How could I expect her to ever talk to me again? I briefly considered cutting off the person next to me and turning down the street to her apartment. If I showed up at her house she'd have to talk to me right? Or, call the police for being a lunatic. It was going on two in the morning. I had no clue how I was going to fix this, but I knew that I would do whatever it took to get Bella to talk to me again.

~ooo~

I woke up the next morning to my phone vibrating off of the night stand and crashing to the hardwood floor.

"Hello?" I rasped into the phone.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" I'd recognize her soothing, gentle voice anywhere.

"Mom! God, I miss you. I'm, I'm fine. How are you?" I could feel my throat tighten a little at the thought of how long it had been since I'd seen my mother and the rest of my family.

"I'm good baby. I can't talk long, your father's probably going to wake up soon and you remember how angry he was the last time he heard me talking to you."

Yea, how could I forget that. He had ripped the phone out of her hand and told me that I was worthless amongst a few other choice words and slammed down the receiver.

"I just wanted to call and check in on you. See if you got that check I sent you?"

"Yeah, mom I got it. But you know dad's gonna catch on eventually. He's gonna notice that the money's going somewhere."

"I know," she sighed into the receiver. "But your grandfather left that money to you and Jasper. Your father has no right to try to cut you off. And I know it's next to impossible to pay your own way through med school. You need it. I just wish the two of you would straighten things out and talk about this like adults."

"There's nothing to talk about mom. He already has his opinion of me. There's nothing that I can say that's going to change his mind." I could feel my face starting to burn with the anger that was bubbling up in my chest.

"Have you talked to your brother recently?" she asked, but by the tone of her voice I could tell she already knew the answer.

"No, not really. I've tried to call him a couple of times, but he never answers. He's shoved too far up dad's ass to go against him, so…" I trailed off, not really wanting to get into a fight with the one remaining family member that still spoke to me.

"Edward, I miss you. And your father misses you too, he's just too stubborn to admit it. You two are more alike than you'd care to think."

"I am nothing like him," I said in a low, controlled voice.

She sighed heavily into the phone.

"I have to go sweetie. I love you."

"I love you too mom." And with that I hung up, pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and headed out into the living room. My dad would never change. It had been years since I had spoken to him, there was nothing I could say to make him believe I was telling the truth. And, to be honest, even though I missed my family terribly, I was too stubborn to try to apologize. I had nothing to apologize for! I hadn't done anything wrong, but he had always believed Jasper over me anyway.

I slipped on my sneakers, grabbed my iPod, keys and phone, and headed out to go for a run. I needed to clear my head. Between everything that had happened with Tanya and whatever it was called that was happening with Bella and now my mom calling to bring up the past, I needed to get out of here. I decided I'd run over to Emmett's place. He was only a few blocks away and maybe I could convince him to give me Bella's number. He'd probably beat my ass for waking him up this early, but I didn't really have any other choice. He'd get over it. I jogged up to Emmett's front step and wiped the sweat off of my face on the bottom of my shirt before pounding on his door. He opened it almost immediately (not something I had been expecting), and was fully dressed with a wide grin.

"Hey Edward! How's it going man?" He asked me cheerfully. Too cheerfully, something was up.

"Uh, hey. I need to talk to you about Bella." I eyed him suspiciously.

"Oh, well it's kind of a bad time, I mean-"

"What's up Edward!" Alice cut him off mid sentence as she came up behind him at the door.

I guess the expression on my face said it all because before I could get out my smart ass comment he said: "Alice surprised me with breakfast this morning." He arched an eyebrow at me as if to say 'it's not what you think so you better keep your damn mouth shout.' I chuckled under my breath.

"You want some breakfast Edward?" Alice chirped. "We have tons of food left over."

"Actually, Edward was just leaving. He has to finish up his run," Emmett said, still shooting daggers.

"But he just got here," Alice countered, wrinkling her forehead.

"Yeah, Emmett I just got here. Don't be rude. Invite me in for some breakfast." I smiled at him. God I really was an asshole and he was definitely going to get me back for this. I followed Alice through the dining room and into the kitchen. She wasn't kidding when she had said there was tons of food left over. She had brought enough to feed the entire block. Bagels with cream cheese, muffins, donuts, coffee, juice. I grabbed a bagel and sat down at the table next to Alice and across from Emmett who made sure to kick me twice while getting into his seat.

"Alright, talk," Emmett said, shoving almost an entire muffin in his mouth. Alice and I rolled our eyes at him in unison.

"Um, I don't know if I really feel comfortable talking about this in front of…" I gestured towards Alice, not wanting to seem rude, but not wanting to sound like a giant pussy in front of a girl I hardly knew either.

"Oh, is this about Bella?" Alice chimed in. Were there absolutely no secrets left between me and Emmett now that he was pussy whipped or whatever the hell you call what he was doing even though he hadn't even gotten laid yet?

"Emmett, what the hell-"

"Actually, Bella told me herself," Alice cut in.

"She told you about what happened at the party?" I don't know why I was so surprised. They were roommates and obviously friends since they showed up to the party together. I should have known. Girls tell each other everything. Great. Alice was probably getting ready to kick me in the nuts.

"Yes, she told me," was all she said. Then there was awkward silence between the three of us, the only sound was Emmett chewing. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Well? What did she say?"

"I don't really think it's my place to tell you everything, but she was upset."

"Really?" I threw my bagel down on the plate in front of me, losing my appetite.

"Yes," was all she replied, looking down at the table.

Great.

"Look, Alice I know this will probably make me sound completely out of my mind and you'll think I'm a stalker, but you have to convince her to talk to me."

She looked back at me not responding.

"I have to tell her what happened. I can't let her go on thinking that I would hurt her on purpose."

"And what did happen Edward?"

I sighed and got up from the table, pacing around the kitchen as I replayed the whole story for Alice. By the time I was finished Alice was pissed, but not at me, at Tanya. Then her eyes softened and she said: "I was right."

"Right about what?" Emmett asked her.

"About Edward and Bella. I just have this really intense feeling that the two of you should be together and Bella was worried that you didn't like her back and- "she stopped, mid sentence, her eyes wide with panic. "Forget I said anything. I may have shared way too much information."

"Bella likes me?" I asked her, not able to stop the grin that was slowly spreading across my face.

"Oh for Christ's sake," Emmett huffed. "You're such a little bitch Edward."

"Really Emmett? Because I remember you telling me just last night when we were at the party about how if someone told you a month ago-

"Shut the hell up," he snapped, cutting me off.

"That's what I thought." I smirked back.

"Why don't you try calling her first? That's a start," Emmett said in between mouthfuls of food.

"Well, I never actually got the chance to ask her for her number," I mumbled quietly.

"Good God, Edward. Am I going to have to hold your hand through this entire thing?"

"Don't pay attention to him Edward. Here give me your phone," Alice said, pulling her phone off of the table beside her. She punched a few numbers into my phone and slid it back across the table to me. "There you go. Ball's in your court now Edward."

"Thanks Alice." I decided maybe I needed to cut Emmett a little slack, finished my juice and headed back on my way.

By the time I made the jog back home it had been at least eighty degrees outside and I was absolutely drenched with sweat. I made my way to the bathroom, peeled off my clothes and climbed in for a cold shower. I rested one hand against the wall in front of me and hung my head, letting the cool water trail down my back. I felt like I had no control over my life anymore. There were so many things I was unsure of and had no clue how I was going to handle, but the one thing that I was certain about was Bella. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had to set things right with her. The thought of never getting a chance to simply sit and talk with her again made my stomach clench.

I finished up my shower, wrapped a towel around my waist and went back out into the living room to grab my phone. I scrolled down through the Bs until I found her name and hit the call button, not really having any clue what I was going to say to her in the off chance that she would actually pick up. It rang and rang and with each sound my heart beat a little faster. Finally on the fifth ring her voice mail picked up and I panicked, not knowing if I should leave a message or just hang up. Before having time to decide, I heard the beep telling me to start talking and I froze.

"Uh, hey Bella, um it's Edward, from the party. Yeah, look I really need to talk to you about what happened. I really need to explain myself. So…call me." And I hung up. Smooth Edward. I stumbled and stuttered through the entire message, sounding like a complete idiot. I hadn't even mentioned the fact that I'm not a stalker and I got her number from Alice. Or bother to give her my number. Hopefully it would pop up in her caller id, that was if she even cared enough to call back.

~ooo~

The rest of my week continued on, each day dragging by slower than the previous one had. I called Bella again on Wednesday, only to be greeted by her voice mail and her never returning my calls. This only made the week more painful. Why did I care so much? Why did I feel so compelled to set things right with Bella? Deep down I guess I knew the answer, but didn't really want to admit it to myself. I was hoping that I would explain things to Bella and then she and I would, I dunno, maybe start dating? It sounded insane even to me, but that magnetic pull I had to her couldn't be denied.

I asked Emmett and Alice if they knew what was going on. If she had mentioned the fact that I called or if she was just ignoring the situation altogether. They both told me that when they asked she pretty much refused to even talk about it. In fact, she hadn't even mentioned me again since that night at the party. What had I expected? Why would someone as perfect and amazing as Bella want to have anything to do with me? She deserved so much more. But that still didn't stop me. It was like I couldn't control my thoughts or actions when it came to Bella. So, Saturday night I made my way over to Alice and Bella's apartment. I took a few deep breaths before knocking on the door and raked my fingers through my hair.

"Oh! Hey, Edward. What are you doing here?" Alice greeted me. I swear, I had never seen someone so damn happy all the time.

"Hi, Alice. I was hoping that maybe I could talk with Bella." Not that I had the slightest clue as to where I would even begin.

"Actually she's at work right now."

Crap. How many signs from above did I need that I wasn't meant to talk to her?

"But, she's getting off soon. Did you wanna come in and wait for her to get home?"

I thought over Alice's offer and decided this was going to turn out really good or really bad, but at this point I had no other options. I followed Alice into the apartment and she gestured for me to have a seat. I sat on her sofa feeling awkward and out of place, fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

"Hey Alice?" I had to break the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?" She bounced back into the room and sat in the chair opposite me.

"What makes you trust me so much? I mean, not that I'm complaining or anything, it's just that I'm used to girls sticking together and since Bella's been avoiding my calls I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me either."

She kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs up underneath her.

"Edward, I don't know what it is about you exactly, but I get a good feeling about you. Normally I can read people pretty easily and when you told me about what happened with Tanya at the party I believed you. Plus, I feel like maybe Bella could use a good guy in her life. Obviously it's up to her whether she listens to what you have to say or not, but it wouldn't sit right with me if I knew that I didn't at least try to help out a little."

I nodded my head, not really sure what to say. I wasn't exactly used to dealing with rational women. Alice and I made small talk for a few more minutes before hearing keys jingling outside the door. I heard the lock turn and the door swung open with Bella bursting inside. How could I have forgotten how gorgeous she was? Well of course I hadn't forgotten. I had been thinking about her every second of the damn day, but my memory could never do justice to the beauty standing in front of me. Bella froze in the door, her large brown eyes locked with mine. She looked back and forth between me and Alice and then back again, clearly trying to make sense of the situation before her. She quickly dropped her eyes from mine and made her way over to Alice who was now standing in silence in front of the chair.

"Hey Alice, can I talk to you for a second?" Not waiting for her response, Bella grabbed her by the arm and began dragging her down the hallway.

I could barely make out their muffled whispers. Clearly Bella was upset though. This wasn't looking so great for me. I finally heard Alice's voice rising just above a whisper saying, "Just let him explain. Trust me." And then their footsteps coming back towards the living room. Bella marched back up to the couch in front of me looking indignant.

"What are you doing here Edward?" she said in a small voice.

"Bella, look I know you probably think I'm crazy, but I just really need to talk to you. I have to explain myself." I was practically begging her now.

She stood there defiantly with her arms crossed over her chest and glanced over at Alice once again.

"Okay fine. Talk." She didn't sound too happy about it, but at least it was something.

"Well I was hoping that maybe we could talk in private? Go for a walk or something?" I must be out of my mind. I knew I was pushing it. I could see Alice nodding enthusiastically to her out of the corner of my eye.

Bella sighed heavily and started walking away again.

"Just let me change out of my work clothes and then we can talk," she called over her shoulder.

Yes! I don't know why this excited me so much, but I just knew if I could make Bella hear me out she would realize that I wasn't who she thought I was. That I would never, ever hurt her.

She emerged into the living room, once again making me catch my breath. Her long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and she was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, but I was pretty certain she'd still look perfect even if she was wearing a garbage bag. She breezed past me and headed out the door. Alice gave me an encouraging smile and I took that as my cue to follow her. I finally caught up with her on the sidewalk in front of her building.

"Alright Edward what's your deal? You've called me and left me messages, got my brother and my roommate asking me about you …" she trailed off as she made her way down the sidewalk. I followed quietly beside her trying to collect my thoughts.

"Bella I wanted to talk to you about the party."

"What about it?" she said not meeting my eyes.

"About, about what you saw. I know you saw me kissing someone, but it's not what you think. It's not like that."

"Oh no? Well then please by all means tell me, what's it like?" she sounded angry, but when her chocolate eyes met mine I could see the hurt lingering behind them. Without giving me a chance to respond she started in again. "I'm not dumb Edward. You have a girlfriend. I get it. I know how it goes. You either got in a fight with her or didn't think she was going to show up to that party. You figured you'd play 'the good guy' saving me from Mike and hopefully end up with a one night stand and you lucked out. Your girlfriend didn't catch you. My question is why are you still trying so hard to get in my pants?"

Wow. I sure as hell wasn't expecting that. The hurt expression on her face was enough to make my own heart break.

"Bella, I told you, I'm not like that. I'm not trying to get in your pants!"

She quickened her pace, clearly pissed off.

"Then what the hell is this Edward?"

"I need to make things right." I was practically jogging now to catch up with her.

"Seriously Edward, it's not that big of a deal." She stepped off the curb into the street, circling back towards her building. Shit. I couldn't let her walk away without knowing the truth.

"It is a big deal Bella."

She didn't even look up at me. I ran and barely caught her by the arm before she headed back into her building.

"Did you hear what I said? It is a big deal."

"Why?" she glared up at me.

"Because that night at the party, talking with you I-I don't know, something happened. Something changed in me when we almost kissed. Something was there Bella, I felt it. And you could walk away from me right now, without knowing the truth, but I know you'd regret it."

"Oh really?" she scoffed. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because you felt something too." My heart was thudding in my ears, trying to force its way through my ribs.

She slowly turned back towards me and she was trying to hide the look of shock on her face. She made her way over to sit on the curb. "Okay. I'm listening."

Oh thank God. I couldn't remember the last time I had been so nervous. I took a deep breath and began telling her my story.

"Bella, that girl you saw me with at the party is Tanya and she's my ex-girlfriend. We dated for a few years and she eventually moved into my apartment with me. I thought I was in love, but looking back on the situation now I realize it was more infatuation than anything else. It was the idea of having someone. Of not being alone."

Bella sat in complete silence, listening intently.

"She used me, told me she was pregnant. I guess she thought maybe she could trap me. We had been fighting a lot and I had threatened to break up with her over and over. I couldn't take it anymore. I guess she knew that if she got pregnant I'd stay. I'd never abandon my responsibilities. Things were okay for a few weeks, but then I come home one day and she's crying. She told me she lost the baby. I couldn't believe it. I was in complete shock. After that things just got even worse. She was never home, constantly out getting trashed with her friends, barely making it to work most days. And I wanted out. I knew it wasn't fair to either one of us to stay in that relationship knowing I didn't love her, but I felt awful for even thinking that way after what she had been through." I paused, not wanting to relive the next part of my story.

"What happened?" Bella whispered softly.

"I came home one day and I was going through the mail and I noticed a bill addressed to her with my last name, as if we were a married couple. I was so confused as to who would be sending her something with the thought that she was my wife, so I opened it. It was a bill from an abortion clinic."

"What?" Bella's voice echoed off the building.

"Yea, she purposefully got pregnant, knowing I wouldn't leave and then once she thought I'd stick around, she went and had an abortion. She pretended we were married so she could put the charge from the clinic on my credit card." That last part made the bile rise up in the back of my throat.

"Oh my God," Bella muttered under her breath.

"So I made her leave. I told her I knew all about the abortion and I ended things."

"Wow. Edward I'm really, really sorry. I had no idea. But, I still don't understand what happened at Mike's party." Her body stiffened again with that realization.

"Well Tanya found me at the party, begged me to take her back and when I refused she said she'd prove to me that I still loved her and forced herself on me. That's what you walked in on."

She sat in silence for a minute, taking it all in before saying, "So, you really don't have a girlfriend?" she peeked up at me through her lashes. God, I would never get tired of looking at her. Even if I lived for a thousand years.

"No, I really don't have a girlfriend."

"So, why would you even come to a party that you knew your ex was coming to?"

Great. This was going to be the moment of truth.

"Bella, I had no idea Tanya was going to be there. The only reason I even went to that stupid party was because I was hoping I'd get to see you."

"You, you came to see me?" I could see a tiny smile starting to form on her full pink lips that I was dying to kiss.

"Yes. Mike invited me and he had told me that you were going to be there. After seeing you that first night in the coffee shop, I knew that I had to talk to you. I, I just wanted to be around you and Mike was saying some stuff about you that just really pissed me the hell off and I don't know why, but I feel very protective of you. The fact that Tanya showed up, well…" I trailed off not really sure what else to say.

"Hey, look, I'm really sorry for the way I acted. I should have given you a chance to explain yourself. I'm just kind of used to getting screwed over and it wasn't fair of me to assume you were lying and-"

"Bella, look at me." I cut her off before she could continue her apologies and I couldn't resist tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that was blowing in the breeze. She blushed at the contact of my hand on her cheek and I made a mental note that I would do whatever I could to bring that lovely color to her face as often as possible. Ho-ly shit. Did I really just say lovely?

"I don't blame you for getting upset, okay? You have no need to apologize. I'd probably have thought the same thing if I had been in your shoes."

She nodded and turned to start walking back towards her building.

"Well I'm glad you explained everything Edward and, again, I'm really sorry for jumping to conclusions.

We stood there staring at each other for God knows how long.

"So, I should probably get back inside. Alice is probably wondering what happened to me out here," she said, glancing at me and then back at the ground.

"Oh, yeah. Okay. Well have a good night Bella and thanks, you know, for letting me set things straight."

"Good night Edward." She offered me a small smile and continued to leave.

Shit! Was I going to let her go just like that? Hadn't the whole idea been that I come here and talk to her so that I could ask her out? Do it now Masen before she's gone and the moment passes.

"Hey Bella, wait a second," I called after her, she turned and finally met my eyes completely. I almost lost all brain function just at the sight of her.

"Have dinner with me. Tomorrow night." Way to go. Instead of being smooth and charming I had come across as an asshole, demanding that she go out with me. I cursed myself silently.

The familiar rose color filled her cheeks and she let out a little chuckle.

"I'd love to Edward. Pick me up at eight." And with that she turned on her heel and I watched her walk through the door.

~ooo~

I got next to no sleep that night, having dream after dream of being with Bella. In the last dream, the one that woke me up at one a.m. practically humping my pillow, I had Bella bent over the edge of my bed while I pounded into her from behind. I could practically hear the moans escaping her perfect mouth and feel her satin skin beneath mine before I jumped awake from my dream. I woke up extremely horny and guilty. I was guilty because I felt like Bella was different. She wasn't like any other girl I had dated or even met. She was more than a fling or a one night stand. Of course I still wanted to fuck her senseless one day, but I quickly realized that maybe I wanted it to mean more than just meaningless sex.

I lay in bed for hours after that just staring at my ceiling, deciding that on my date with Bella I was going to treat her how she truly deserved to be treated. Prove to her that not all men were assholes, take care of her. She already has me wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even know it. I am so screwed.

**Soooooo, what'd ya think? The more I write, the more I realize E&B are going to have a very angsty relationship so I hope you all have patience! LOL**


	4. Starlight

**Okay. I know, I know. It's been like 3 years since I updated. Well, maybe not, but it feels like it. I lost my writing mojo for a while there. I knew what I wanted this chapter to be and how I wanted it to end, but I couldn't get from point A to point B. I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out, but I'm my own worst critic so of course I think it could be better. I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed and/or favorited my story. It means a lot to me! I want to wish the bestie a very happy birthday! There still isn't a full lemon, but don't worry, it won't be much longer ;D. Obviously I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. If I did, I'd be rich and shacked up somewhere with RPattz...**

_Untouchable like a distant diamond sky_

_I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why_

_I'm caught up in you_

_I'm caught up in you_

_Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun and when you're close I feel like coming undone_

_In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream it's like a million little stars spelling out your name_

_You gotta come on, come on say that we'll be together_

_Come on, come on little taste of heaven_

_Untouchable-Taylor Swift_

**~Bella~**

"Bella Swan, you better get your butt up out of this bed right now!" Alice's usually cheery voice had a hint of anger behind it as she smacked me on my butt.

"Ow. Geez!" I huffed, the pillow muffling my voice. "Why are you harassing me this early on a Sunday morning?"

"Bella it's already past twelve so you can hardly consider it morning anymore. I'm just trying to be a good friend," she sighed, throwing herself dramatically onto my bed.

"Since when did coming into my room on my only day off this week and beating me awake count as being a good friend?"

I rolled over onto my back to stare into her impossibly eager eyes as she continued to jump on my bed like a five year old on Christmas morning.

"Since you have a date with Edward Cullen and we have a million things to do before tonight!"

I couldn't stop the big, cheesy grin that spread across my face at the mention of my date with Edward. After he had come to the apartment last night and explained everything that had happened with his psychotic ex-girlfriend, he asked me to dinner. I still wasn't sure how I had remained so calm and collected when he asked me, when inside I was screaming and jumping up and down. As soon as Edward had been out of sight, I sprinted all the way back into the apartment and did a happy dance like I had just scored a winning touchdown for the Superbowl. Alice took one look at me and figured out what had happened and joined me in the jumping and squealing. After that I couldn't help but be sucked into girl world with her. She made me replay every single detail of my conversation with Edward over and over again, while we analyzed everything he said. We stayed up half the night eating way too much junk food and I didn't even put up too big of a fight when she asked to give me a manicure. We wound up watching almost the entire first season of Friends on DVD and didn't make it to bed until around three in the morning.

"Okay, so what are these millions of things that we have to do today?" I laughed at her.

"Well first and foremost I am taking you shopping. Don't even try to tell me no. I've seen most of your clothes Bella and for some unknown reason you insist on covering up that banging body you've got going on." I blushed a little at the thought. "Didn't you come from Florida? How did you survive in all that heat and humidity if you were constantly wearing jeans?"

"I wasn't constantly wearing jeans," I mumbled, not letting her know that she was right and I had absolutely nothing to wear for tonight.

"Whatever. You better go get in the shower. We're leaving in an hour and there's much work to be done!" she said with a little laugh and practically skipped out of my room. Somehow she reminded me of Rosalie. Oh, if only Rose could see me now. She was constantly trying to get me to 'dress better' and now here I was living with my own personal fashion assistant. I grabbed my phone and sent Rosalie a text telling her how much I missed her and that she needed to fly out and visit me soon, and headed off to shower.

~ooo~

"Al-ice!" I whined, stomping my foot in frustration. I was actually coming pretty close to having a temper tantrum.

"Come on Bella, just try it on! We've been at the mall for three hours and you still don't have anything to wear tonight!" Alice said, throwing another arm full of dresses at me and shoving me into the tiny dressing room. How did I ever let her talk me into this? Oh, that's right because tonight I have a date with the most perfect man in the entire world and all I have to wear are rags. Not that it would make a difference what I wore anyway. I could never compare to him. I stripped out of my clothes for the millionth time that day and pulled on the little red, cotton dress.

"And you better come out here and let me see it or I'm coming in!" Alice called through the dressing room door. I knew she wasn't kidding either. In the last store we had been in she had made me try on a ridiculously tight and barely-there tube dress and when I refused to come out she ripped the curtain open and pulled me out herself. Thank God no one else had been in there to see the embarrassing display.

I opened the door a crack and peeked my head around the corner.

"Don't worry, no one else is in here," she laughed at me.

I slowly opened the door the rest of the way and Alice's mouth dropped open in shock.

"What? Is it really bad? It is, isn't it? Maybe I should just call Edward and cancel tonight altogether, I mean I'm never gonna find anything even remotely-"

"Will you just shut up for a minute?" Alice cut me off. "Bella, you look amazing! That dress is perfect for you. Plus it's not too dressy since you don't know exactly where Edward is taking you."

"Really? You think I look good?" I smiled a little at her reaction.

"Bella you must be touched in the head or something. Can you not see yourself when you look in the mirror?" I shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

"That's it. That's the dress. You have to get that one, it's perfect."

"Okay, okay," I said, chuckling at her as I made my way back into the dressing room and pulled my jeans back on.

"I have the perfect shoes to go with that and earrings too!" Alice said, lost in her thoughts of getting to play dress up with me once again. "Come on, hurry up and pay. We have to get home so I can start on your hair and makeup!"

And I couldn't even protest. I mean, I wanted to look good for Edward and I knew there was no way I'd be able to pull off doing my own makeup or hair unless I wore it in a messy bun. I paid for the dress and shoved it inside one of the bigger bags I was carrying. Shopping with Alice was like an Olympic event. Somehow she had convinced me to buy almost an entirely new wardrobe, telling me I'd need more clothes for future dates with Edward because she was completely convinced the two of us were getting married and a new outfit for the Kings Of Leon concert we would be going to, then she told me I'd need more jeans (the 'designer kind') and sweaters seeing as how when summer ended it would be freezing in the rainy Forks weather. I didn't even want to begin to think about how much money I had spent.

We made it back to the apartment in record time since Alice made every single light on the way home. I swear the girl has a horseshoe up her butt. We hauled all our shopping bags up the stairs and headed straight to Alice's bedroom. She shoved me down into the chair she had set up in front of her vanity and immediately got to work.

"Okay, let's see… the dress you're wearing is sexy and flirty without being too over the top so the hair and makeup should match." She was talking out loud, discussing various options for me and I was mostly tuning her out. I wasn't trying to be rude, but in a few short hours I was going to be alone with Edward Cullen and the thought of that had my stomach twisted up in knots. Alice began tugging on my hair and I rested my head on the back of the chair, entirely absorbed in thoughts of Edward.

"Alright Bella, what do you think?" Alice sounded even more excited than usual.

"Hmm?" The sound of her voice had snapped me out of my fantasies and I hoped that Alice hadn't asked me anything too important because I hadn't been paying attention for God knows how long.

"What do you think about your hair?" She looked at me like she couldn't possibly understand how I didn't know what she was talking about. I focused my gaze on the mirror and had to smile at Alice's handiwork. My hair was pulled back with a barrette half up and half down, giving it a sexy little bump in the back and a few soft, loose curls were spread throughout to give me some body.

"Wow, Alice. I love it!" And I meant it. I had no idea how she was so talented, but she always managed to do wonders with me.

"Great! Now time to move on to the makeup. Edward's gonna be here before you know it!" She squealed and my nerves caught up with me again.

After putting a little eyeliner and mascara on the top of my eyelids only, making my wide eyes seem impossibly larger and finishing with some clear lip-gloss, she hurried me into the bathroom to get dressed while she got my accessories. I pulled the little, red dress on over my head, careful not to mess up my hair and took a few deep breaths to calm myself before I went back into the bedroom. Alice gave me strappy gold sandals that complimented the dress perfectly and tiny diamond studs for my ears.

"Bella, you look awesome!" she gushed at me. "Are you ready for tonight?"

"I, I th-think so," I stammered out.

"Well you better know so because Edward just got here!"

"What? How do you know-" but before I could finish my sentence there was a light knocking on the door. I started running to go answer it, but Alice grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back.

"You don't want to seem too eager. Make him wait a minute. Don't let him think you've been counting down the hours until he gets here," she scolded me.

"But I have been," I giggled back.

I made my way to the door a little more calmly and pulled it open to find Edward on the other side looking flustered and gorgeous and more perfect than I had remembered. His bronze colored hair was in complete disarray as usual and I had to fight the urge to run my fingers through it. He had on a fitted, gray button down with dark wash jeans and was holding his hands behind his back.

"Hi Edward," I said, feeling the heat creep up into my cheeks.

"Hello Bella." God, I would never get tired of hearing the sound of my name coming from his velvet voice. "These are for you." He pulled his hand from behind his back to hand me the most gorgeous bouquet of Calla Lillies I had ever seen. I had no clue how he had managed to bring me my favorite flower, but I suspected Emmett must have had something to do with it.

"Oh, Edward they're beautiful! Thank you so much. Let me just put these in some water, come in."

I still didn't know how I was actually managing to talk to him without stuttering or tripping over my own feet as I headed to the kitchen, but apparently luck was on my side tonight. Alice was right behind me giggling and squealing and I had to elbow her in the ribs to get her to calm down.

"Here let me take care of these, you go!" Alice shoved me out of the kitchen and I grabbed the little gold clutch she had let me borrow.

"You look beautiful by the way," Edward said giving me that crooked grin that made all of my resolve completely disappear.

"Thank you. You look pretty great yourself," I said blushing for the twentieth time in five minutes. When did I get so ballsy? I had been positive I wasn't even going to be able to remember my own name tonight much less hold up an actual conversation.

Edward led the way from the apartment outside to his shiny, silver Volvo. He opened my door for me and then hurried around to the driver's side. All of the windows were rolled down and I was worried that the wind was going to wreck my hair, but quickly stopped caring after seeing the sight of Edward weaving in and out of traffic with the breeze caressing his copper locks. There was an awkward silence and I could see him checking me out from the corner of my eye. He reached across my seat toward his glove box and the back of his hand quickly brushed the top of my knee. There was that electric jolt again. He pulled out a CD and popped it into his stereo. I immediately recognized the guitar intro coming through the speakers and grinned over at him.

"You like Kings Of Leon?" I asked, staring at his profile.

"Yeah they're pretty good. I'm really into their new CD. I take it you like them?" He smiled back.

"You could say that," I laughed. "In fact I'm going with Alice to their concert in September. You should come with us," I blurted out. Oh my God. What is wrong with me? How could I assume that Edward would want to go anywhere with me, especially more than a month from now? I could hear him chuckle a little under his breath before saying, "Maybe I will."

My heart began racing again at the fact that he would even consider spending more time with me. We drove for a little while longer before I realized that we were now in Port Angeles and a few minutes later we pulled up in front of a quaint little restaurant named La Bella Italia. Coincidence? He cut the engine and had somehow managed to get out and make his way to my side of the car to open my door before I was even unbuckled.

"I hope this is okay. You like Italian food?" He looked nervous. How was it even possible that anything about me was even remotely intimidating to a God like him?

"Yeah, Italian's great." I smiled up at him and placed my hand into his as he helped me out of the car. He led me into the restaurant with one hand placed on my lower back, guiding me through the doors. I could feel the warmth of his palm pressing through the cotton of my dress and even a gesture as simple and innocent as that made me fight the urge to take him right there in the parking lot. I tried to shake the erotic fantasies out of my mind and actually pay attention to where I was going before I tripped and made an ass out of myself in front of Edward.

A petite blonde hostess greeted us at the door, eye-fucking Edward from the second he entered the building and not even giving so much as a glance in my direction. I could feel the jealousy surging through me. What made her think Edward and I weren't together?

"Hi I'm Tiffany!" she said just a bit too perky. "Would you and your sister like a booth or a table?" she asked as innocently as she could and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from reaching across the podium and pulling her hair out. Edward glanced down at me with a little smirk on his glorious face.

"My date and I would like a table," he said coolly.

Tiffany's faced dropped a little at the mention of me being his date and I realized I definitely needed to calm down. Technically we weren't together. He had every right to check out other girls and vice versa and there wasn't really anything I could do about it, but I didn't have to like it. We followed her to our table and she brushed Edward's arm as she walked away. He pulled out my chair for me before sliding into his own.

"Uh, Bella are you okay? You look kind of pissed." He was staring intently at me, confused as hell.

"Oh, yeah I just, I mean," I was so ticked I could hardly get my words out, "well that girl was totally checking you out right in front of me!" The word vomit never stopped with me. God, why don't I have a filter on what comes out of my mouth?

"And that bothers you?" he smirked, seeming a little smug.

I couldn't even answer him for the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation and thankfully our waiter came just in time before I put my foot in my mouth again.

"Hey guys. My name's Seth, I'll be your waiter for this evening. Can I get you started with some drinks?"

"I'll have a Coke please," Edward said.

"Same for me," I answered, glancing up at Seth who I caught peering down the top of my dress before he made his way back to the kitchen.

"That's it. I wanna see the manager," Edward growled, throwing his napkin on the table.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I glanced around frantically trying to figure out if he had seen a bug or something.

"That, that guy _Seth_," he spat out, "was completely disrespectful to the both of us."

Oh, I guess Edward had caught Seth checking me out. Now it was my turn to feel smug. I leaned back in my seat, smiling to myself as I watched Edward glaring across the crowded restaurant in Seth's direction. He caught me smiling at him and his features softened immediately.

"What?"

"You're jealous," I accused him, laughing a little in spite of myself.

His eyebrows shot up and he blushed furiously. I couldn't help but feel empowered at the thought of _me_ actually making _him_ blush for a change.

"No I'm not," he said, indignant. "That guy's just completely unprofessional."

"Jeal-ous," I teased him in a singsong voice.

He finally gave me that crooked grin that turned me to complete mush. "Well, I could call Tiffany over here and ask her what she thinks?" He smirked at me.

"Touché," I laughed back, feeling completely weightless. All of my nervousness from before had vanished and we settled into a comfortable silence while we decided what to order.

After placing our orders with Seth, and Edward glaring at him the entire time, the conversation flowed naturally while we told each other more about ourselves. I learned that Edward was making his way through med school and he worked part-time bar-tending three nights a week. I asked him how it was possible for him to afford school on a part-time salary and he told me how his grandfather had left quite a large sum of money for him and his younger brother Jasper when he had passed.

"Oh, I didn't realize you had any siblings. Are you close with your family?"

"I used to be," he replied quietly, a pained expression across his face.

"What happened?" I practically whispered.

"Well, let's just say my father chooses to believe things about me that aren't true and because of that he wants nothing to do with me and forbids my mother to even speak to me."

My heart broke for him as he told me how his family had pretty much disowned him for something he didn't even do. What could a child possibly do that is so wrong a father would never want to see them again?

"What about your brother? Do you talk to him?"

"Not really. More so than my dad I guess. I haven't talked to him in about three years and Jasper pretty much follows suit. I still speak to my mother though, when she can sneak in a phone call." He looked down at his plate and I felt like a complete ass for even bringing it up.

"Edward, I'm so, so sorry." I reached across the table and grabbed his hand before even realizing what I was doing. I felt the electric shock again spike through my body, straight to my heart and was sure Edward felt it too this time because he jumped a little at the contact before giving me a smile. After that the conversation picked up again and Edward was back to his normal self. He asked me more questions about what I was like when I was little and if Emmett was a complete terror like he imagined him to be. I told him stories of mine and Emmett's childhood until we were both doubled over with laughter. We finished our meals and Seth came back to offer dessert.

"Yes, that sounds great. Can I see a menu?"

"Actually Bella I have somewhere else I wanted to take you and we should get there soon if that's alright?"

"Of course. Yeah, that's fine."

"Just the check please," Edward told Seth as politely as he could manage.

Seth came back and placed the bill on the table before giving me a wink goodbye. I reached to grab the bill, but Edward was faster.

"So, how much do I owe?" I asked, reaching for my purse.

He just rolled his eyes at me in response.

"Bella, I asked you to come to dinner with me. I'm paying."

"But we could split it. I don't mind."

"You are absolutely absurd," he chuckled at me. "It's my job to pay. I want to take care of you," he said softer, his dark emerald eyes burning into mine.

I simply nodded because I could barely breathe let alone speak, my heart hammering in my chest. Edward had just told me he wants to take care of me. I felt the blush heating my cheeks and bit my lip to fight back the smile.

~ooo~

"So where are you taking me now?"

"You'll see," he shrugged, smiling a little.

As we drove through Port Angeles I realized that this was one of the best moments of my life. The windows were down and the sweet, summer night air was blowing through the car, the city dazzling with a thousand twinkling lights. I let my hand glide on the breeze out the car window, my hair whipping around my face. Perfect. We were still listening to Edward's Kings Of Leon CD and when I heard the opening chords of 'Sex On Fire' coming through his speakers I couldn't help but bounce around in my seat a little, my head nodding to the beat. The first verse picked up and I was quietly singing the lyrics to myself out into the night. I hadn't felt this carefree with someone in a long time. I snuck a glance over at Edward and chuckled. He was shaking his head around just like me and doing his best impression of the song.

God, how could I have forgotten how amazing and sexy and perfect his voice is? He caught me looking at him and instead of getting embarrassed he just laughed and kept on singing, his eyes sparkling. By the time the first chorus came up we were both singing at the tops of our lungs out the windows and jumping around in our seats. We finished the rest of the song dancing and singing while Edward drove and I blushed a little thinking about the lyrics I was singing with the sexiest man I had ever known. The song ended and I broke out into a fit of giggles. I caught Edward looking at me again, trying not to laugh.

"What?" I questioned.

"Nothing. I just enjoyed your performance, that's all."

We continued laughing and I noticed that Edward was now parking the car in a dark and almost completely empty parking lot.

"Um, what are we doing?" I asked suddenly nervous. Did he think we were going to have sex in his car? Not that I hadn't thought about it repeatedly since I first set foot into his Volvo, but I was a little pissed he would assume I'd do something like that on a first date.

"I want to show you something Bella."

"Wow. Now there's a line I've never heard," I rolled my eyes at him.

He threw his head back against the seat with laughter. "Good God Bella. Not _that_. Get your mind out of the gutter."

I felt myself flush at least twenty different shades of red as he hopped out of the car and came around to open my door. I couldn't even bare to make eye contact with him as he pulled my hand and led me across the street, down a sidewalk and then turned behind a row of little boutiques and antique shops. We walked across another gravel parking lot and down a long, wide boardwalk, finally stopping on a pier. I gasped at the sight before me. We were overlooking the water and it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The sky was dark and clear, shining bright with a dozen, tiny stars. The full moon shown off of the water and the little ripples danced with the reflection of the stars. He grabbed my hand and led me to a bench, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into his side as we sat and looked out over the pier.

"Edward, this is just-wow, this is so beautiful," I breathed.

"Not in comparison," he murmured, and my body tingled all over.

I don't know how long we sat there that way, perfect together, not needing to fill the silence with unnecessary chatter. Just enjoying each other's company and the way we seemed to fit together so perfectly. I snuggled in closer to him, breathing in his sweet, musky scent. I never wanted this moment to end. He picked up the hand he was still holding and gently placed a kiss on the back of it, making my heart go into overtime. I sat there, sighing in contentment while Edward traced small circles into the palm of my hand with his thumb or rubbed my shoulder if he thought I was chilly. I peeked up at him and saw that he looked just as at ease as I felt and I gave his hand a little squeeze. After sitting there for at least an hour more, we both realized we had to get up early the next morning and decided we should start heading back. We made our way to Edward's car, strolling leisurely still holding hands, swinging them between us and stealing glimpses of each other. I couldn't keep the stupid grin off of my face and I still couldn't fathom how I could be having all of these feelings over someone I hardly knew after one date. As we walked I noticed several bright pink flyers on telephone poles and in the front of store windows.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to one as we walked by.

"It's just a flyer for the carnival next weekend. It's tradition in Port Angeles. Same time every summer."

"A carnival?" I could barely contain my excitement. "Oh my gosh, I haven't been to a carnival in years. Since I was like 12!"

Edward just stood there watching me with an amused expression on his face as I continued to gush and practically skip to the car.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I stopped mid description of the wonders of carnival food, suddenly feeling very foolish.

"You never cease to amaze me Bella. I'm just trying to figure you out," he said looking very frustrated.

"Figure out what? What do you mean?"

"Well back at the restaurant you were ready to fight the hostess because you thought she was "checking me out", he raised his hands to do the air quotes, "and then the next thing I know you're practically jumping up and down at the thought of a carnival coming to town."

"I wasn't the only one ready for a fight back there," I mumbled under my breath.

"Oh it wouldn't have been a fight," Edward replied calmly, seemingly sure of himself.

"I guess I got so excited because my parents used to take Emmett and I every year when we were little…" I trailed off, dropping my head so Edward couldn't see the tears that out of nowhere were forming behind my eyes.

"Hey," he hooked his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to pick on you. I actually thought you were quite adorable getting so excited over it."

The tears quickly disappeared with the feeling of Edward's skin on mine, telling me I was adorable.

"I guess I just don't really get it because I've never been." He dropped his hand from my face and shrugged.

"You've never been what?" I asked, pursing my lips.

"To a carnival."

"What? Are you serious? How is that possible?"

"I dunno, my parents never really did things like that for me and Jasper. They were always working, always too busy," he shrugged again, trying to act nonchalant, but I could see the hurt behind his eyes.

I, once again, felt like an ass.

"We should go then. Next week." Holy hell. Was I never going to learn? Did I just ask Edward on a date?

"And what makes you think I want to go with you?" His words would've stung, but I could tell he was kidding by his raised eyebrow and slight smirk. God, he could be so cocky sometimes. Normally that would completely turn me off, but coming from Edward it was so sexy I had to hold myself back. I noticed he did that to me a lot. I raised my own eyebrow, mirroring his expression until he couldn't fight his smile anymore.

"Of course I want to go with you Bella," he laughed. "There's just one problem though," he said softly, suddenly getting serious and leaning in so close I thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"And what's that?" I asked him, breathless and sounding more needy than I had wanted to.

"I don't know if I can wait that long to see you again."

And I swear to God I could have died right then and there and my life would have been complete.

~ooo~

Alice was waiting for me when I got home and just about pounced on me as soon as I made it through the door. She demanded I explain my entire date in very explicit detail and wouldn't take no for an answer. I told her all about the restaurant and Tiffany and Seth, mine and Edward's impromptu concert in the car, the surprise visit to the boardwalk and our follow-up date for the carnival next weekend. Alice could barely contain herself when I told her the carnival was coming and she started bouncing up and down in her seat and clapping her hands. After discussing it for a few minutes, we decided it would be cool if her and Emmett doubled with Edward and me, seeing as how we wouldn't have to worry about our dates getting along and Alice wanted to go something terrible.

After practically having to swear on the Bible that I would ask Edward if it was okay for Alice and Emmett to come with us as soon as I could, she finally let me go to my room. I tried to force myself to go to sleep with no luck. I tossed and turned all night long, dreams of Edward interrupting me throughout the night. To say I was sexually frustrated would have been an understatement. Even though Jake and I had only been broken up for a few weeks, which now seemed like a lifetime ago, I hadn't had sex in months. He was always too tired or busy or whatever other excuse he could come up with not to touch me. And now I knew why. He had been getting it on the side for God knows how long. The sex had never been anything mind blowing, nothing to ever brag about, but I just brushed it off and thought that was how it was supposed to be. That everyone who talked about sex as being the most incredible thing in the world was just exaggerating. But now I was beginning to wonder. I mean, the feelings that Edward could give me with just a light brush of the hand or the way my name rolled off of his tongue, the intense burning gazes he gave me when he thought I wasn't looking…even the way he played his guitar could be turned into something erotic with me. Sex with him had to be incredible.

If I could feel this way now, just thinking about what he was capable of doing to me, then actually being with him had to be so much better. If I wasn't worked up before, I definitely was now. I climbed out of bed and hurried to lock my door. Even though it was going on two in the morning I could never guess when Alice was going to bust into my room. I lie back down in bed and let my fantasies of Edward take over completely. I closed my eyes and pictured him hovering over top of me, his soft, hot tongue gliding over my body. I let my hand trail down to my breast, massaging and pulling my nipple through the thin fabric of my tank top. My breathing increased as I pictured Edward pressed flush against my body, plunging himself into me and I slid my hand down into my panties. I gently massaged in slow circles working up to a rhythm, imagining it was Edward's hand working me instead. I quickly came to a release that my body had been begging for for far too long and collapsed back against my pillows.

I finally felt completely relaxed and somewhat satisfied, but also a little ashamed which was something completely new to me. I had never felt that way after pleasuring myself, which now made me confused on top of everything else. I soon realized it was because I had never really fantasized about anyone while I took care of business. But having these thoughts about someone that I actually know in real life that I had been out on a date with a few hours ago made me slightly embarrassed. This new emotion forced me to examine things further and I discovered my feelings for Edward were even stronger than I had originally thought. He wasn't just some guy or a random fling. Of course I wanted to have sex with him, there was no denying the tension between us, but I wanted it to mean something too. I wanted more than just sex with Edward, much more.

My alarm woke me the next morning from my fitful night of non-sleep and I slammed my hand down on the snooze bar. Ugh, there is no way I'm going to be able to function today without massive quantities of caffeine. I immediately noticed the apartment was entirely too quiet and figured Alice must have already left for work. I had three hours before I needed to be at work and decided I would relax and take my time getting ready instead of rushing around like I normally did. After cooking scrambled eggs and bacon and washing it down with some orange juice, I grabbed my work clothes from my bedroom and headed to take a shower when something caught my eye. My cell phone, sitting on my dresser, was blinking at me alerting me of a new text message. I grabbed it and flipped it open, reading my message:

_I had a great time last night._

_Do I really have to wait a whole week before I get to see you again?_

_-Edward_

I was jumping up and down, doing a little dance, reading the message over and over again. Edward was thinking about me. I couldn't believe it. He enjoyed last night just as much as I had and now he couldn't wait to see me again. Was it even possible that he was into me as much as I was into him?

_I had a really great time too._

_I have the closing shift for the rest of the week so I'm not sure if __we'd be able to get together before Saturday…_

_-Bella_

I finished punching out my text and forced myself to go get into the shower. Damn Mike for making me close every single night. I don't know why Victoria thought he was competent enough to make a work schedule, but he was clearly just doing this to spite me for what happened at his party. The closing shifts were supposed to be distributed evenly, but I guess he didn't get the memo. After finishing up in the shower and blow-drying my hair, I checked my phone again and saw Edward had sent me another message.

_What about Wed. around 11?_

_I have an hour break. Maybe we could meet __for an early lunch if you're free?_

_-Edward _

I tried not to seem too eager and waited a minute before I responded, but couldn't control myself for long.

_That sounds great. My shift doesn't start until 1._

_Where did you want to meet?_

_-Bella_

He answered almost immediately which brought on another happy dance.

_How about the Carver Café? _

_Do you know__where that is?_

_-Edward_

_Hmm no, but I'll find it…_

_-Bella_

_Sounds good. I can't wait._

_Talk to you soon Isabella._

_-Edward_

I stood in the middle of my room gawking at my phone. Edward had just asked me out again and he called me Isabella which coming from anyone else would have annoyed the hell out of me, but somehow coming from Edward it was sexy. God I have it bad.

~ooo~

As I had predicted, things between Mike, Jessica and me had been extremely awkward since the party. Jessica's fake niceness continued, but I caught her whispering about me to Angela every chance she got and Mike almost completely ignored me altogether, which was actually quite a relief. Work had really picked up this week for some reason and pulling a nine hour shift every night had me completely exhausted, practically passing out as soon as I got home, but when Wednesday morning rolled around I was up and ready to go by eight. I had planned on sleeping in, but my lunch date with Edward had me too wound up to stay in bed.

I had gotten directions from Alice the night before, shoved my work clothes into a bag and headed out to meet Edward. The butterflies assaulting my stomach were almost unbearable as I drove down the tiny streets through Forks. I pulled up in front of the café fifteen minutes early and was glad I didn't see Edward's car yet, I'd have some time to pull myself together. I gave myself a quick once over in the mirror and made my way inside. I grabbed a booth in the back corner and ordered myself an iced tea, waiting for the agonizing fifteen minutes to end. I pulled out my phone to check my email and then he was there. I hadn't even looked up yet, but I knew he was in the room. I could feel the electricity, that strange magnetic force that pulled me to him. I felt my breathing pick up and I lifted my head to see his clear, green eyes staring down at me. I don't think I would ever get used to his alarming good looks.

"Hey," I smiled up at him and he slid into the seat across from me.

"Bella," he practically sighed my name, almost a sound of relief. "Were you waiting long?"

"Oh, no not at all. I got here a little early. You're right on time."

He flashed me his heartbreaking smile and picked up a menu. After ordering our lunch we fell into an easy conversation, telling each other about our week so far.

"Are you ready for Saturday?" I asked, trying hard to contain my excitement.

"Saturday? What's happening on Saturday?" he asked innocently, his lips twitching as he fought back a smile.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him, fighting my own smile. He thinks he's so clever. I decided to ignore his little comment and continued, "Anyway, what do you think about Alice and Emmett coming with us?"

"I suppose I can allow that, but I really don't like the fact that I'm going to have to share you."

I blushed furiously and looked down at my lap. How does he always manage to do this to me? We ate our lunch continuing with the playful banter and "accidentally" brushing our legs together under the table. It was a little after twelve when we finished and reluctantly I told him I had to get going so I could make it to work on time. Saturday seemed like a lifetime away.

We stood there in front of my car, silent, hesitant, neither of us wanting to make the first move to say goodbye. How could all of my happiness suddenly rest on being with this man, this man that I hardly know?

"So what time did you want me to pick you up?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Well, it's usually more fun to go when it starts to get dark, but I still have to talk to Alice and Emmett so I guess I'll call you and let you know?"

"Okay, that sounds good." He gave me his half smile.

"Thank you for lunch Edward. I'm glad I got to see you today." He had no idea how glad.

"You're quite welcome and the feeling is mutual."

I climbed into my old, beat up truck and before slamming the door, he reached down and gently cupped my cheek. I could feel myself melting into his touch.

"I'll see you on Saturday. Goodbye Isabella." I melted further at the sound of my name coming from his perfect mouth and he quickly bent down and brushed his lips across my forehead. He closed my door and I was on my way, driving blindly down the road, delirious with joy.

~ooo~

My days, or should I say nights, drug on endlessly, each one exhausting me more than the previous. Thank God I still had Angela to talk to or I would have seriously considered quitting. She was quickly becoming a good friend and I felt like she was someone I could confide in without having to worry about her spreading my secrets. She asked me how things were going with Edward and I couldn't resist telling her all about our carnival date that night. Without even asking she offered to stay and close for me and let me get off at six instead so I could get there a little earlier. The thought of having even more time to spend with Edward had made me want to jump up and kiss her, but I already had enough trouble at work.

We had decided that letting Emmett drive the four of us would be the most practical choice since he had the Hummer, but I was a little disappointed I wouldn't be getting any alone time with Edward. I raced home, knowing I now only had an hour to shower and get ready since we had decided to leave earlier than originally planned. After quickly showering, I pulled on a pair of my new "designer" jeans, a scoop neck yellow t-shirt and yellow flip-flops. I put on a little bit of make-up; now that I had seen Alice do it a few times I picked up some tips, and headed out into my living room. Alice had made herself at home, sprawled out on my sofa watching television. She's lucky I like her.

"Took you long enough." She stretched her arms out above her head and pretended to stifle a yawn.

I stood there, shaking my head at her in disbelief. I should have never let her keep that key to my apartment. She stood, smoothing out the wrinkles in her denim miniskirt and white halter.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" I teased.

"He's not my boyfriend," she giggled back, but I could tell she wanted him to be by the gleam in her eye.

"Don't worry Alice. I've never seen Emmett act this way before."

"What do you mean?"

"I just think, well, actually I know that he's really into you. He was telling me how amazing you are before I even met you."

"Really?" And her eyes grew so wide I thought they were going to fall right out of her head.

"Yes really," I laughed at her. It was funny to see Alice so unsure. She was always so confident.

We made our way into Alice's apartment just in time to hear the loud, thundering knocks coming from the front door that I immediately knew belonged to Emmett. It sounded more like we were in the middle of a police raid than our dates coming to pick us up.

"Here's Prince Charming now," I rolled my eyes and pulled the door open.

"God Emmett, we have neighbors ya know?"

"It's great to see you too Izzy," he said dryly, rolling his eyes.

He pushed past me into the apartment and scooped Alice up into a hug as she squealed with delight and I had to grin at the sight of them. They really do make a great couple. I just hope Emmett mans up soon and asks her officially. Caught up in all my daydreaming over Alice and Emmett, I almost forgot Edward was there until he cleared his throat.

"So, are you ready for the best night of your life?" I teased, trying hard to not jump up and down.

"The best night of my life huh? That's a pretty big promise," he said quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, I know. And I have every intention of keeping it," I smirked at him. Oh my God. When did I turn into playful, flirty Bella?

"Alright, everyone ready?" Alice was doing some sort of dance now, wiggling back and forth and Emmett was staring at her like she was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

"Yeah, we're ready," I chuckled and Edward grabbed my hand, leading me from the apartment. Inside I was doing cartwheels from the contact, but on the outside I tried to keep my cool.

~ooo~

After parking the Hummer in the same lot Edward had brought me to last weekend, Emmett climbed out coaxing Alice onto his back for a piggyback ride. She was positively glowing. We made our way to the tiny ticket booth at the beginning of the boardwalk, while Emmett and Edward bought wristbands and tickets for the four of us.

"Okay, what should we do first?" I asked taking in the scenery.

This was even better than I had hoped. The sun was slowly setting in the distance and a cool breeze floated through with the scent of hot dogs, cotton candy and fried dough wafting through the air. There were tiny stands set up in rows along the entire length of the boardwalk as far as the eye could see selling everything imaginable; lemonade and french fries, temporary tattoos and face painting…it was too much for me to take in all at once. I could hear the faint screams echoing in the distance from the kids on the Tilt O'Whirl and felt my stomach clench just at the thought of getting on that thing.

"Can we please go get some food first?" Emmett practically whined.

I rolled my eyes at him and he pouted.

"Yea, I'm pretty hungry too," Alice chimed in. Of course she is. I'm pretty sure she'd follow him anywhere.

"Okay, where to?" Edward had a faint glimmer in his eye and though I knew he'd never admit it, he looked pretty excited to be here.

"Well, you need the full experience," I told him. "Starting with authentic carnival food."

"I hope you have a strong stomach," Alice laughed.

The four of us walked side by side until we reached a stand selling hot dogs and sodas and each got ourselves one with the works and a Coke, except for Emmett, of course, who got two. We found a little group of tables set up and sat down near a little girl, about four, screaming her head off and stomping her feet.

"I want it now!" she screamed causing quite a few people to turn and stare. Her brown hair was in tangles around her face and her cheeks were bright red from all of the crying.

"God, she's just like you were when you were little," Emmett mumbled through mouthfuls of hot dog.

"I was never that bad!" I scoffed, balling up my napkin and chucking it at his head.

"No, you're right. You were much worse," he grinned, the napkin hitting me square in the face.

"I bet you were adorable," Edward whispered, leaning in so the others couldn't hear.

I could feel my cheeks grow warm. "Were?" I questioned, pretending to be hurt.

Edward just laughed and shook his head at me. "Isabella, you and I both know that you are much more than adorable now," he said so low I thought I imagined it, his hot breath fanning against my cheek. I blinked back at him, at a loss for words. How did he always manage to do that to me, to render me completely speechless and unable to make a coherent thought? We finished our hot dogs, cleaned up the table and threw our cups away. Before deciding what we should do next, Alice grabbed Emmett's hand and began tugging him behind her in the opposite direction.

"We'll meet up with you guys later," she called over her shoulder, an evil grin on her pixie face. Emmett obviously had no complaints. I was glad to see he had found someone that could hold her own around him. Inside I was reeling over getting another opportunity to have Edward all to myself. We walked silently, the sun almost completely disappearing and the stars beginning to make their first appearance of the night. I pointed out all of my favorite games and explained to Edward how each one worked.

"Well, what do you wanna do first?" I asked, looking up into his wide, emerald eyes.

"How about that?" He pointed over my shoulder and I spun around to see a tiny, metal photo booth.

I smiled back at him and we waited outside until the blue curtain was pulled back and two little boys came out, laughing and shoving each other, pulling the strip of photos from the slot on the front. I followed Edward in and immediately felt my heart beating frantically in my chest being in such close proximity with him. He sat down on the little bench and I stood there trying to figure out how I was going to fit in the picture with him, weighing my options. Before I knew it, he had pulled me to him and sat me down on his lap, giving me a small smile and if I wasn't mistaken I could hear his own heart beating erratically. He slid a few quarters into the front and we prepared ourselves for the first photo. We laughed and played, making goofy faces and pretending to pick our noses.

"Okay, enough of the silly stuff" he said with a small smile. He turned me slightly on his lap so that our cheeks were side by side and I tried desperately to control my breathing. There was no way I could hide the ridiculous grin on my face as the final pictures flashed. I stood up slowly, not wanting this moment to end, and realized I couldn't go very far because my shoes were now stuck in some sort of disgusting, red syrup covering the floor. I struggled against the goop on my shoe trying to exit the booth only to find myself fall face first into Edward's chest. My foot being glued to the floor paired with my clumsiness did not make for a good combination.

"Whoa, are you okay? It's a good thing I was still sitting here or you would have smashed your face into the wall," he said amused. He had made no attempt yet to remove his arms from around my waist and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up. I could feel the tiny booth getting much smaller and Edward pulled me to him once again. Our bodies were pressed chest to chest, my heart now in my throat. Please God; don't let him pull away, I silently begged. Who knows how long we sat that way, hearts beating furiously, struggling for air. He slowly reached up, lacing his long fingers through my hair and gently pulled my face towards his, where his lips finally crashed into mine.

**Yeah, that's right. I'm leaving you hanging, but chapter 5 is already underway so keep your panties on. Reviews are appreciated. They let me know what I'm doing right and wrong and give me the encouragement and motivation to keep writing!**


	5. Undisclosed Desires

**Heyyyy. So yeah, it's taken me way longer than is acceptable to update this, but life has been crazy. If any of you are still around I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it. There's finally a lemon at the end and the perverted side of Edward is out and in full swing so consider yourself warned! I, of course own none of this. Reviews are appreciated my loves!**

_Let's sail away, find our own country_

_We'll build a house and beds out of palm trees_

_Let's get away, we'll push our lives aside_

_I'll sport a smile, take in some color_

_Under the stars I'll be your lover_

_With no distractions I'm gonna treat you right_

_And it seems like things are only getting better_

_And it seems like we can never catch a break_

_Just keep a hold on me, don't let go if you float away, if you float away_

_Waiting too long for a ship to come don't you float away, don't you float away_

_Island-The Starting Line_

**~EDWARD~**

To say I was excited to see Bella tonight would be an understatement and to say that I had become a little bitch would be an even bigger understatement, but I couldn't even find it in me to care. After taking her out that first night to dinner and then sitting and watching the stars with her, I knew that some how Bella had become a very essential part of my life. I wanted to, with every fiber of my being, make her mine, but I didn't even know where to begin. I also decided that if nothing could come of a relationship between us, I would settle for friendship. It would be hard not to touch her and to have to watch her go out with other guys, but not having her in my life at all simply wasn't an option. The more time I spent with her, the more abundantly clear that became.

Emmett picked me up and we made our way over to Alice and Bella's for the carnival and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this giddy. Yes, fucking giddy. We arrived at the girl's apartment and I stood awkwardly behind Emmett at their door trying to get my shit together. Bella pulled the door open, clearly annoyed with Emmett's ridiculous pounding and I was automatically hit with her delicious, mouthwatering scent. It was vanilla and lilac and fucking sunshine and just _Bella_ and I nonchalantly tried to adjust myself in my pants because apparently it affected _everything_.

We talked for a minute and I had to grab Bella's hand to keep myself from just reaching out and groping her breasts that were squeezing their way out of her low cut t-shirt. God, forgive me because tonight was going to be a very long night and Bella was bringing out the pervert in me. We finally made it to Port Angeles after the longest damn car ride of my life because I had been trapped in the Hummer for what felt like five hours with Emmett driving like an asshole as usual and me trying to pretend I didn't notice the way Bella's tits bounced over every little bump in the road. I'm going to need to go to confession.

After grabbing some hotdogs, which I of course had no problem turning into something obscene, Alice and Emmett split off and I silently thanked God that I was finally going to have Bella alone again, but boy was I confused. I watched her eyes light up while she told me about every single one of the carnival games and her cheeks were flushed pink and her hair was wild because of the wind and I wanted to grab her and hold her and keep her safe in my arms forever and the other part of me wanted to grab her and take her off to a dark corner and make her scream my name. It was an epic battle of will and right now, but I was not giving in which confused me even further. If she had been any other chick, any other random girl, I would have had my way with her and then never talked to her again. Before I had met Tanya I went through girls the way most people went through underwear, but once we started dating I realized I needed to grow up and get my shit together; learn what it meant to be in a committed and honest relationship. I had been tempted many, many times to cheat on her, but I knew that I would never be able to live with myself if I slept with someone else. But Bella, that was a completely different story. We weren't even together and I already knew that I didn't want anyone else. No one would ever compare to her.

She could barely contain herself as she asked me what I wanted to do first and I had been eyeing the photo booth behind her for a few minutes realizing it would be a perfect excuse to have Bella on top of me, plus I'd get some pictures of her that I could ogle in the privacy of my own bedroom. We waited until the booth was unoccupied then made our way in and I wasted no time pulling her into my lap. My body reacted to hers immediately and it took super human mind control to keep little Eddie at bay. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I never wanted her to think that I was only interested in her for sex and nothing more. We laughed and joked and I had never felt so comfortable around someone in my entire life. Bella never ceased to amaze me. She was so at ease with me and the two of us together this way seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Our time was up in the booth all too quickly and the next thing I knew she was slamming into me, knocking me back into the wall. Before I even had time to realize what happened, my arms instinctively reached out to grab her and hold her up. Protecting her wasn't even a thought, it came naturally to me. I also noticed that she made no effort to pull away and the way my hands fit around her waist was too perfect. It was hot in that little booth and my heart was pounding its way into my throat. All I had to do was just move an inch closer and I would be there, my lips on hers, where they belonged.

It was now or never. I couldn't hold myself back from her any longer. I slowly snaked my fingers up into her hair and pulled her towards me, our bodies colliding and all of our feelings for each other pouring out through our lips. She was perfect and sweet and her lips molded with mine in a way that I had never known and would never know with anyone else. She relaxed against me, her tiny hands making their way to my neck pulling herself even closer to me, leaving no space between our bodies. Her shirt had shifted and my fingers were pressed at the small of her back, unconsciously kneading into her soft, satin flesh.

I heard a soft moan escape her and echo into my mouth, making me realize I was going to be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble if this continued on, but trying to break away from her now felt as though I'd be breaking away from my life line. Thank God for small miracles because right then two impatient teenage girls ripped the curtain open causing Bella to jump out of my lap and blush furiously. We squeezed past and I grabbed our pictures from the slot on the front as Bella tugged my hand down the boardwalk. We were silent for several minutes, pushing our way through the crowd, not really heading anywhere in particular until I noticed she was dragging me toward a very long line and asking: "Can we do this?"

We were standing in front of one of the largest ferris wheels I had ever seen and she was dancing back and forth with excitement. I just laughed and nodded at her, still tasting her on my lips and praying that I'd get to do that again. After waiting in line for a good ten minutes we handed the operator our tickets and climbed into the tiny, rickety seat. Lost in my thoughts of the kiss and actually getting to have Bella pressed up into me once again I almost forgot that I was ridiculously afraid of heights. Almost. My mouth was dry and my palms started to sweat and I silently begged not to puke everywhere because I'm pretty sure that would have ended things for the night. I also knew that it really didn't matter how I felt or what I was afraid of because I would follow Bella anywhere and do whatever it was that made her happy. What's that? You want me to swim in shark-infested waters covered in blood? Sure! No big deal. Yeah, I have problems.

I tried to focus my attention on the excitement on Bella's face as the ride started up and we made our giant circle around to the top. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and concentrated on not hyperventilating, keeping my thoughts on anything other than plummeting to my death.

"Hey, Edward are you okay?" Bella nudged me with her shoulder and squeezed my hand. I chanced a look over at her and her hair was whipping around her face from the wind, her lips still swollen from the kiss. Christ, what kind of a douche am I? Here I am, having the most perfect night ever with the girl of my dreams and I'm letting my idiotic fear get in the way of enjoying it.

"Uh, yeah I'm great," I choked out.

"You know, you're kind of terrible at lying. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just, um, I'm kind of afraid of being so high up." Fuck, I'm lame.

"Oh, God, are you serious? Why the hell did you agree to get on this thing?" And now I had made her feel bad even though I was the one with the ridiculous problem.

"It's no big deal, really. I mean, you wanted to get on and you've been really looking forward to coming and I wasn't gonna put you on this thing by yourself, so…" I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and realization slowly dawned on me that the more I talked with Bella and focused on her, the more tolerable this had all become and I wasn't really on the verge of a panic attack anymore. She shook her head back and forth with a small smirk on her perfect mouth, leaned in and whispered: "I might know something that could take your mind off of things." And then she was half in my lap again, our mouths moving in perfect time with each other, hands roaming wherever they could. Where did this come from? I never knew what she was going to do next. One second she was quiet and shy and the next she was climbing on top of me making out with me. I could get used to this.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that the ferris wheel was slowly making it's way around while Bella let out soft little sighs and her hand was creeping dangerously close to the one place that had been begging for her touch since the moment I first laid eyes on her. The world was rushing by us at a million miles up in the air, kids were screaming and laughing and loud music was blaring from the speakers below and I was in heaven, until I realized we weren't moving anymore. We both pulled back, simultaneously realizing we had stopped and at first I figured the ride had ended until I really looked out over the side and saw that we were suspended in mid air, our cart slowly swaying back and forth in the wind. Before I had time to have a complete melt down, I felt a small vibration coming from the seat and Bella pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Hello? Oh, hey what's up? We're on the ferris wheel but we're stuck at the top for some reason, why? What's going on?"

I tried to block everything else out and only listen to Bella's one sided phone conversation.

"Oh, my God. Are you serious? God, he's an idiot. No, yeah that's fine. You guys go. Edward and I will catch a cab or something. No it's fine. Okay, yeah. Talk to you later."

"Who was that?"

"That was Alice. My genius of a brother thought some guy was hitting on her so he decided to "put him in his place" and now he needs stitches in his hand. What the hell? God help Alice when they're an actual couple. It's cool if we catch a cab right?"

"Yeah of course. That is, if we make it off this thing alive."

Bella just laughed at me and rolled her eyes and pulled me back into her.

~000~

"So, Alice still isn't back yet, she must be taking care of Emmett. Did you wanna come in?" Bella was trying to hide her blush by focusing intently on her hand as she tried to pull her key from the lock. I had to restrain myself from saying 'Fuck yeah' or something equally as stupid because I wanted nothing more than to follow her into her apartment and have my way with her for the rest of the night, but I didn't know if either of us was really ready for that right now. I sighed audibly at myself for the fact that I had to turn into a goddamn gentleman now of all times.

"Actually Bella, um, I don't think that's such a great idea."

"Oh," and the hurt expression on her face made me want to kick myself in the head. I tried to explain myself before this went any further.

"Bella, of course I want to spend time with you and I want to come in more than anything right now, trust me, but I think you and I both know what will happen if I do."

"So, you don't-you-,"I cut her off. How could she possibly think I didn't want her?

"No, actually I do, more than you even understand, but Bella, you're too good for that and I like where we are right now. I like the way things are going between us and I don't want to ruin it by us moving too fast. Hopefully whatever this is that we have will work out for us and then, I'll come in."

Now she looked as if she was going to cry. What am I doing?

"Bella, it's not…" I trailed off and rubbed a thumb across her cheek.

"No, no I understand Edward. I really do and I'm not upset with you. I just-you're too wonderful. I've never met a guy that treats me the way you do."

And my heart broke for her. I was an asshole and she thought I was wonderful? Christ, what kind of douche bag had she been dating back in Florida? I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, trying to restrain myself because if I didn't the whole me-not-following-her-inside conversation would be pointless.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Um, I have work in the morning, why?"

"What time do you have to be there?"

"Ugh, 7:30. I have to open the rest of the week thanks to Mike."

"How about I swing by and pick you up?"

"Yeah, yeah that'd be great. I'd like that." And her beautiful, perfect smile was back, traveling all the way up to her warm, brown eyes. I bent down for another kiss because this had become my new favorite activity and now that we had finally broken that barrier I couldn't see myself ever holding back again.

"Goodnight Isabella. I'll see you in the morning." And I hightailed it out of there like my ass was on fire because if I didn't get home and take care of business I'd wind up doing her right there in the hall.

~000~

Morning came too fast, as it always does, but this time I didn't mind because I was on my way to see Bella. I hopped out of bed; literally fucking hopped, and got into the shower, smiling to myself like the bitch that I was the whole time. I smiled while I shaved. I smiled while I got dressed. Hell, I even smiled while I took a piss. I stopped at Starbucks on the way to Bella's and got us both a coffee, hoping that she drank coffee, but assuming the odds were probably in my favor since she worked in a damn coffee shop.

I carried the drinks up to her apartment, careful not to burn myself, and realized I was nervous again while I knocked on her door. She opened it almost immediately; as if she had been standing on the other side the whole time just waiting for me to show up. She had on a tight, black tank top with lace trim around the edges, giving me a peep show of her boobs and black pants that were practically painted on. Her hair was damp and pulled back into a ponytail and she was still the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen even at 7 in the damn morning.

"Hey," she said shyly. "Wanna come in for a second? I'm almost finished getting ready."

I followed her through Alice's apartment into her own and noticed I didn't hear Alice's chipper voice anywhere.

"Did Alice leave for work already?" I asked handing her a coffee.

"Actually, she never came home last night. Emmett probably milked it for all he was worth having an injured hand," she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, well, good for them I guess." And I felt a little stab of jealousy. Maybe I should have taken Bella up on her offer last night. No, no, I couldn't second-guess myself. For once in my life I was going to do this right. I didn't want to risk the chance of screwing this all up. Bella was too important. I watched her body as she moved around her apartment, cleaning up her mess; slipping on her Chucks and grabbing her jacket and bag.

"Okay, ya ready?" she grinned at me.

"Mmm, not quite," I said, standing and walking towards her.

She just stood there, looking adorable and confused, furrowing her eyebrows at me and sticking her little lip out. "Why?"

"This is why," I murmured, tracing my finger over her jutting lip. She finally figured it out and stood on her tiptoes pressing her lips against mine. She tasted like mint mixed with coffee and sugar and things I didn't even know that were just sweet and pure and _her_. We stood there kissing in her apartment for what seemed like hours until I snapped out of it and drug her with me out the door, realizing I was going to make her late for work.

"Thank you for picking me up Edward. And thanks for the coffee." She blushed briefly and bit her lip before giving me a quick kiss and heading off inside the coffee shop, offering me a small wave over her shoulder before disappearing completely.

We continued our new found ritual for the rest of the week with me picking her up in the morning, bringing her coffee or breakfast and us making out in her apartment or my car until the very last second before we had to leave. Thank God Newton was a douche bag and made her open every single day because I highly enjoyed getting to start my day out by kissing Bella.

We hadn't had any other alone time during the week due to the fact that I wound up having to bartend every single night that week to cover shifts which had made me mildly exhausted because I wasn't getting out until 2 every night and I was at Bella's by 7 every morning. By the time Friday rolled around I was fucking ecstatic at the thought of having the entire weekend off and getting to spend some real time with Bella without us having to get up ass early the next morning. Then another thought occurred, one that made me sick inside. What if Bella didn't want to go on any more dates? Just because she was accepting rides from me in the morning and making out with me every day didn't necessarily mean she wanted to be my girlfriend. She had just gotten out of a serious relationship. Or worse yet, what if other guys had been taking her out at night while I had been busy at work? After all, we weren't actually a couple and she was free to go out with other guys.

I decided to call Bella on my lunch break at school and hope that she didn't get into trouble for answering at work.

"Hello?" Her voice alone was enough to make me have to situate myself discreetly.

"Hey, Bella how's work going?"

"Not too bad. We're kind of slow today. What's up?"

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Um, not much. I was gonna see if Alice and Emmett wanted to catch a movie or something. How come?"

I wasn't quite sure why I was about to ask what I was about to ask, but I needed to see her again. I needed to make plans with her to be sure she wasn't with anyone else, instead of just coming out and asking her because that would make some actual damn sense and when it came to Bella I was seriously lacking any.

"Well, I'm working again tonight so I thought you should stop by, I mean if you want to, we could do something when I get off."

"Don't you get off at like 2 in the morning or something?" she laughed.

"Actually I only work till 11 tonight, but if that's too late or you don't want to or whatever you know it's cool…" I trailed off feeling like a huge loser.

"No, I'd love to. What time should I come by?" I felt immediate relief knowing I'd get to see her again in a few short hours.

"How about 9? You can hang out for a while and get some free drinks. I think the bartender has a thing for you."

She laughed at my lame joke and then whispered she had to go because Victoria was coming and she wasn't supposed to be on her phone.

~000~

I had never actually looked forward to having to go to work, especially after the week I had, but knowing I'd have an entire night with Bella made it worth it. I raced home from school hoping I'd have enough time to go to the grocery store because if tonight went as planned I'd have Bella come back to my place to hang out and watch movies, but I hadn't gotten actual food in weeks. I was also hoping I'd be able to sneak in a nap because I didn't want my ass passing out on her when I finally had her alone in my apartment.

I got to the store and picked up the essentials including snacks and drinks for us and by the time I made it back I could hardly keep my eyes open. I had about two hours before I had to be at work so I set the alarm on my cell and snuggled down into my bed.

I knew I had only been sleeping for maybe 30 minutes when my cell went off telling me I had a text message. I decided whoever it was could wait until my nap was over, but they, however, could not. Three more texts came through until I was finally pissed enough to grab my phone and see who the hell was harassing me. It was Emmett, of course. He wanted to know if I was doing anything later and if I wanted to hang out and before I knew it I had invited him and Alice to come to the bar later too. I was too tired to care at the moment, but knew I'd be pissed at myself later that the two of them were going to be interrupting my alone time with Bella again. At least they couldn't follow us back to my apartment.

My alarm sounded and I unwillingly drug myself out of bed and took a quick shower. I changed into clothes for work, which usually consisted of a fitted t-shirt, and jeans and I hated to even admit it, but I knew the more muscle I showed the bigger tips I got from the desperate, drunk girls that were always hanging around the bar.

I parked my car in the employee lot behind the building and made my way inside checking my watch every two minutes, mentally willing the time to go by so I could see Bella. Only three hours to go. I clocked in and set up behind the bar preparing myself for the onslaught of sloppy, drunk chicks I was going to have to deal with for the next few hours. The first few hours went by so slowly, I did nothing but sneak shots and study for a test I had coming up. By 8, things were in full swing and I was practically breaking my neck running from one end of the bar to the other, trying to take care of everyone.

I hadn't realized how quickly the time had gone by until I looked up and saw Bella standing on the other side of the bar with Alice and Emmett behind her and fuck me did she look hot. She had on a navy and white striped tube top that left little to the imagination and jean shorts with some kind of ridiculous heels that I knew Alice had probably forced on her. I'd have to remember to thank Alice later. Bella's legs looked a mile long and were smooth and creamy and just begging me to go over there and nuzzle my face in between her thighs.

"Hey, buddy, I said I wanted a Coors Light. Think you can handle that?" The guy in front of me was snapping his fingers in my face and looking at me like I was a moron. God he's lucky Bella's here right now or he wouldn't have had any fingers left to snap with. I watched her saunter her way over to me, her chestnut hair swinging behind her while she walked. Before she made it to the bar Emmett pushed her out of the way and started demanding drinks, slamming his hand down.

"Christ, nice to see you too Emmett."

"Of course it's nice to see me. Who wouldn't want to see me?" He laughed at himself, probably thinking he was the funniest fucker in the world. Alice had managed to squeeze her way through and just rolled her eyes in his direction.

"How the hell do you put up with him?" I asked her, seriously considering if maybe she had suffered some sort of head injury.

"Aww, he's not that bad. He really is a sweetheart. Plus, he's good to me," she shrugged her shoulders and grinned.

"Well, I guess that's all that matters then. So, what'll it be?"

"Ummm, how about a Sex On The Beach?"

"You got it."

She made her way over to Emmett while I got to work on their drinks and Bella finally made her way up to the bar looking shy and utterly irresistible.

"Hi," she said biting her lip. She did that a lot when she was nervous.

"Hi yourself. God, you look amazing Bella."

She blushed, as I knew she would and leaned over onto the bar, giving me and every other pervert in the room a fantastic view of her cleavage. Bella was completely unaware of how sexy she was and I stared the guy down sitting next to her, silently warning him she was mine. Or, at least I wanted her to be, but he didn't have to know that.

"This bar is insane. I had no idea it was so nice inside and I definitely wasn't expecting a dance floor and a DJ."

I smiled at her, wondering how I got lucky enough to be able to spend my time with a woman as incredible as her. I beckoned Alice and Emmett over and handed them their drinks.

"What are you drinking?"

"Um, just a Miller Light I guess." I popped the top off and slid it to her across the bar, but before we could continue our conversation she was being pushed out of the way to make room for the drunks demanding another round. I watched her hips sway as she made her way back over to Alice and Emmett and silently pleaded not to pop a boner right there behind the bar.

As the night wore on, I could see Alice and Bella getting visibly more drunk and Emmett just kind of standing by watching the show. They came over and did their third round of shots together and I contemplated on cutting them off, but decided drunken Bella was more fun. They were falling all over each other, singing and holding hands and Alice was dragging her out on the now packed dance floor. The lights had been turned down and the DJ was playing some sort of obnoxious rap song that I normally would hate, but was quickly becoming one of my favorites due to the fact that Bella was out there dancing her ass off and fucking grinding on Alice. Part of me knew that was one of the hottest things I had ever seen and another part of me was jealous that it wasn't me getting rubbed on. I watched her dance through a few more songs, whipping her hair around seductively and getting even closer to Alice. Man, were those two trashed.

When the next song started I saw them make their way back over to me and Alice demanded two more shots. I poured them against my better judgment, but they looked like they were having a blast and I didn't want to be the asshole that ruined their night, plus I knew Emmett was keeping an eye on them. She pulled Bella behind her again back onto the floor and I saw some guy with dreads make his way over and start dancing behind Bella. Fuck, where the hell was Emmett? Why was he letting some guy grind his dick on his sister's ass and why was she letting him? Upon further inspection I realized that he wasn't actually touching her it had just looked that way from across the room, but he was still way too close for comfort. I started to lose sight of them in the crowd which made me fucking antsy.

Lucky for me Tyler came in to relieve me from my shift and I hopped over the bar and made my way to Bella. I pushed through the crowd, zeroing in on her and noticed that Alice was gone now too. I couldn't believe those two just left Bella out there by herself. She was swaying back and forth to the music with her eyes closed and as I approached the guy I tapped him on the shoulder and he willingly backed up before I even said anything. I stepped in his spot and pulled Bella's back into my chest, which made her jump. She turned around swinging and I caught her wrist before she punched me in the face.

"Oh, it's you! God, I thought some pervert had grabbed me."

"No, it's just me," I chuckled.

"Well, I was close," she smirked back.

We were pressed chest to chest now with my hands on her waist and her arms around my neck. A new song came on and the tempo picked up and there was no way I could have been prepared for what Bella did next. She moved her hands to my shoulders and resumed her grinding the way she had done with Alice. I tried not to lose focus, but Christ was she tempting me. Her tube top was inching its way down and her breasts were dangerously close to breaking free. She turned around and dropped to the floor, slowly rising back up with her ass sticking out, rubbing right across my dick. I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me, moving her hair to one side so I could whisper in her ear.

"Bella, that's not very nice," I warned her, hoping she didn't realize I was lying and it was extremely fucking nice, but she was drunk and I wasn't sure how aware she was of what she was doing.

That still didn't stop her and she was facing me again, shimmying down to the floor and sliding her hands down my thighs as she went. Apparently I was learning a lesson in restraint tonight because for the last two minutes I had seriously been considering just pulling her into the V.I.P. area and giving us both what we clearly wanted. Something kept holding me back though. I wanted Bella and I wanted her now, but not like this. Our time together should be more special and not in a fit of drunken lust. That could come later. I let her continue her dance because she now had one leg wrapped around mine and was pushing herself into me in time with the music. After the DJ took a short break and put on a CD I figured I should try and get Bella home or at least back to my place if she still wanted to. She definitely didn't need anymore to drink. I bent down to give her a small kiss because I hadn't felt her lips on mine all day and I craved them now like they were a drug. Apparently the alcohol made Bella friskier than usual because she grabbed me and kissed me back hard, pulling on my hair and roaming my entire body with her warm, little hands. As much as I was enjoying it, I was pretty sure we were now putting on a show and sober Bella probably wouldn't have appreciated it much. I broke away reluctantly and started steering her towards the exit.

"Wait, wait stop a second. I can't walk in these shoes anymore."

She pulled her heels off, hooked them over a finger and slung her hand over her shoulder.

"Bella, you cannot walk across this disgusting floor barefoot. You'll catch all kinds of diseases."

I turned my back to her and crouched down, gesturing for her to hop on. She hesitated at first, then put her hands on my shoulders and hopped up, wrapping her legs around my body. I carried her through the bar and out to my car and I could feel her rest her head on my shoulder, pressing her face into my neck and planting a small kiss behind my ear. How had I lived my whole life without having her in it?

"Where are we going?" she mumbled into my back.

"To my car."

"After the car?"

"Well I figured we could still go back to my place to hang out if that's okay with you?"

"Wherever you are is where I'm at," she kind of slurred into my ear. I chuckled quietly to myself. This girl is going to be the end of me. I opened the passenger door and she slowly slid off of my back and plopped down into the seat. I hopped in behind the wheel and headed off towards my apartment.

~000~

I was hoping if I got some food and water in her system she'd sober up some and maybe be able to avoid a hangover in the morning. She insisted I carry her again into my apartment and I knew there was no way I'd ever be able to deny her anything. She climbed off my back and followed me into my apartment, looking around and taking everything in.

"Oh my gosh! You have a piano?" She ran over and before I could stop her she climbed up on top of it and lay back, throwing her hair over the edge. At first I kind of wanted to strangle her because no one messed with my piano. But this was Bella and the way she had her body draped along the top made me realize I'd have to veto my no-one-touches-my-piano-rule especially for her because I had never seen anything so hot in my entire life and I was silently praying that things would work out between us if only for the fact Id get to fuck her on it one day.

"So are you gonna play something for me?" she said, flipping over onto her stomach and peeking up at me through her thick, dark lashes.

"Maybe some day, but right now I'm cooking you something to eat."

She slid off and padded her way into the kitchen, cocking an eyebrow at me when the microwave dinged.

"I thought you said you were cooking?"

"I did. Technically, microwaves cook things right?"

I pulled out the plate and slid it to her across the counter and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"A Hot Pocket, huh?" she smirked at me, but had no more complaints once she started eating. I handed her a couple of Tylenol and she popped them in her mouth, chugging the entire bottle of water.

"So what now?"

"You wanna watch a movie?"

"What do you have?"

I pointed to my DVD shelf across the living room and told her to pick whatever she wanted. I went into my bedroom, changed into some sweats and grabbed Bella a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. When I came back out I tossed her the clothes and showed her where the bathroom was. I popped in the movie and got us a blanket and when Bella came out wearing my clothes, for some reason it was even hotter than the tube top and shorts she had been wearing earlier. She had her hair tied up in a bun on top of her head and seeing her this way, completely relaxed and ready for bed made me realize I could see myself doing this for a long time. Me and her, every night, cuddling up on the couch together, shutting out the rest of the world. She curled up next to me and I turned the movie on, throwing the blanket over our laps. She had decided on "The Wedding Crashers" and I was pleasantly surprised when she started quoting lines right along with me and at times laughing so hard she'd let out a little snort. Somehow, that was the cutest thing in the world.

About half way through the movie, Bella snuggled into my side further and rested her head on my shoulder and in no time I felt her body get heavy and her breathing change. I didn't have the heart to wake her and to be perfectly honest there was nowhere else in the world I would have wanted to be than in that moment. After the movie went off and the DVD menu came up on the screen I realized that I had been dozing off myself and it was now going on 3 in the morning. Bella was dead to the world, so I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to bed.

"Where are you taking me?" she mumbled sleepily.

"I'm putting you to bed."

"But I don't wanna," she pouted back.

"Bella, you're drunk and you passed out." I laughed at her.

"I'm not drunk anymore. I swear."

"Well either way you're exhausted and I am too. There's no way I can drive you home now so you're gonna sleep in my bed and I'm crashing on the couch."

I laid her down in my bed and pulled the covers up around her.

"Wait. Don't leave. Stay in here with me."

She stuck her bottom lip out and stared up at me with her big, brown eyes. Fuck. There's no way I can control myself all night in bed with Bella.

"Pleeeeeease?"

I sighed heavily, pulled my shirt off and against my better judgment climbed into bed with her.

"Goodnight Isabella."

I stretched across her to turn off the light on the table beside her and she reached up, locking both of her hands around my arms and pulling me down on top of her. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I couldn't have sex with her. It was too soon and she was intoxicated and I wanted things to be perfect and fuck, why is this so hard?

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Whatever you want," she said so low I almost didn't hear it. And that was it. My resolve melted away almost completely and she pulled my face down to hers, kissing me with such force and passion I could hardly breathe. God, I had wanted this for what felt like a lifetime now. Our tongues tangled together and I could taste alcohol and Hot Pockets in her mouth and I never wanted anything else for the rest of my life. She raised her hips up to meet mine and they rocked back into hers of their own accord. We moaned simultaneously into each other's mouths as my erection pressed into the center of her heated core. I continued rocking against her and slowly slid my hand under her shirt, across her stomach. She shuddered at the contact and I made my way up her rib cage, over to the lace covering her breasts. I began massaging them gently; keeping the lace barrier between us in case Bella thought things were going too far. She was bucking her hips into me harder and faster now and running her nails down my back. I broke away from the kiss momentarily to catch my breath and kissed my way over to her neck, down across her collarbone and back up to her ear, alternating between kissing and sucking.

"Oh, God. Touch me Edward," she half moaned and even though I was on top of her I knew what she meant. I rolled over on to my side and she pulled away from me sitting up and ripping her shirt off over her head. She immediately pressed herself back into me, hitching her leg up around my hip and pushing her hips into me once again. My hand roamed across her back, unhooking her bra and it slowly shifted it's way down and off from in between us. Feeling Bella's chest against mine, flesh against flesh, filled me with so much desire and longing I thought I was going to explode and my dick instantly got harder. Her hand had found it's way into the waistband of my sweats and she was squeezing my ass, forcing me harder against her. I palmed her breasts, massaging and kneading and pulling on her perfect, pink nipples, causing her to arch her back and let out the most delicious noise I had ever heard.

I felt her hand make it's way around to the front of my pants and cautiously slide into my boxers, down my thigh and over to my now ridiculously hard cock. I let out a low groan as she firmly wrapped her fingers around my shaft, her thumb grazing over the tip, spreading the pre-cum across my length. She slowly started working me up and down and I bent my head taking her sweet, erect nipple in my mouth and sucking hard which caused her hand to work even harder on me and another whimper escape through her lips. I dipped a hand down inside her already drenched panties and slid down over her folds and back up, rubbing her at the same pace she was working me.

"Mmm, God, that's so good Edward. Don't stop."

I worked her, spreading the moisture around making sure she was ready and pushed one finger inside of her. She rocked against my hand and started pulling on me harder, moaning and whimpering and fucking torturing me in the most amazing way.

"More," she whispered and I slid in another finger, making soft circles over her clit with my thumb.

I entered a third finger into her and she was rubbing her pussy against me shamelessly, fucking my hand and in turn rubbing and pulling at me so hard I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. I figured I was going to have to bust in my pants and worry about it later because I didn't have too many other options right now and there was no way I was going to stop now. I pumped my fingers into her hard and fast, curling them up inside of her and working her clit as fast as I could.

"Fuck, Edward. I'm gonna cum. Mmm. Oh my God." She threw her head back into the pillow, riding my hand hard, her chest heaving up and down making her beautiful tits bounce back and forth. I felt her walls clench down around my fingers and she cried out, riding out the waves of her orgasm and not once did she stop giving me the most amazing hand job I had ever had. Watching her face as she came was enough for me to come undone and I warned her as best as I could. She slid her hand up and down the length of my erection at a furious pace and leaned in and bit down on my neck, sucking and licking and I exploded all over her hand and into my pants.

We laid there in silence for a few moments catching our breath and she slowly released me and pulled her hand out from under the covers.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled embarrassed as hell. I jumped out of bed and came back with a towel for her to clean off with.

"Edward, please don't be sorry. That was amazing."

I don't think I would ever not be in awe of this woman lying beside me. Her lips were red and swollen; her cheeks flushed and her hair in wild tangles around her face. She hopped out of bed and pulled her shirt back on.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom." She bent down and gave me a quick kiss and I watched her walk through my door while a smug grin slowly spread across my face. I had just had one of the most amazing sexual experiences of my entire life and we hadn't even technically had sex. I wasn't sure about anything in my life right now, short of Bella. She was everything. She was light and happiness and sex and innocence and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going to make her mine.

**Thoughts?**


	6. Uprising

**Hey, so um yea, if you haven't figured this out by now I suck at updates. If any of you are still reading this I truly appreciate it. Also, a big thanks to everyone for all of the reviews. I heart you guys. I'm hoping that since I got a spiffy new laptop I'll be updating more frequently. Twilight and all characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

_There she go talkin' her mess all around town makin' me stressed_

_I need to get this off my chest and if her friend wants some then she'll be next_

_It really ain't that complicated_

_Ya'll walkin' 'round lookin' all frustrated_

_Want some plex? Come on let's make it_

_Actin' real hard, but I know you're fakin'_

_I know you really don't wanna step to this_

_Don't really know why you're talkin' shit_

_You about to catch one right in the lip_

_It's about to be a what? Girlfight_

_Girlfight-Brooke Valentine_

**~BELLA~**

I had been standing there for at least 5 minutes examining myself in the mirror, my hands resting on the cool, marble sink, supporting my weight. My hair was wild and knotted, my face was flushed and splotchy and my makeup was smudged under my eyes. I looked terrible. I rummaged in a drawer until I found Edward's comb, splashed some cold water on my face and tried my best to look presentable again. As the alcohol wore off a little bit more, the heavy, sinking feeling in my stomach pressed down harder. What had I done? I have a few shots and suddenly I'm molesting Edward? I didn't even know what the hell was going on between us and he had told me several times that he thought we should takes things slow, yet here I was practically forcing myself on him. I felt disgusted and had no clue how I was going to go back out there and face him, but knew if I stayed in his bathroom any longer he'd probably think I was rooting through his cabinets or doing something disgusting in here.

I took a deep breath and slowly made my way back into his bedroom. He barely made eye contact with me and hopped out of bed to make use of the bathroom. Oh man, this is not good. I sat there awkwardly on the edge of his bed, tugging at the hem of his shirt, debating on what to do. I could call Emmett to come and pick me up, but he'd probably throat punch me if I woke him up this late, plus I wasn't really ready to handle the questioning that would ensue from him having to pick me up from Edward's apartment. I could call a cab, but I was pretty sure I didn't have any cash on me and it would cost an arm and a leg anyway. Why was I trying to run away? I mean, this is what I had wanted from Edward for weeks now, right? So why did I feel so guilty? Before I had time to figure out how to run away like the coward I was, Edward sauntered back into the room looking beautiful and perfect and upset. He stood there, hovering over me until I was forced to look up at him.

"Hey, so you're crashing here right? I mean, I could drive you home, but it's pretty late. Unless you really have to go, it's not a problem."

"Uh, yeah that's fine. I can stay here."

"Alright, well I'm pretty exhausted so have a good night. Let me know if you need anything," he said as he started to walk out of the room. I couldn't help but feel like he was angry at me. Something was definitely wrong. I felt ashamed with myself for acting the way I did.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna sleep out on the couch. You can have the bed."

He was sleeping on the couch? Earlier he had crawled right in beside me. I knew for certain now that I had ruined everything. He wanted to go slow and I forced him into something he didn't want to do. I felt sick. My stomach twisted in knots. How could I ever fix this? I had known from the beginning that Edward deserved better than me, especially after Tanya. Now I had just proven myself right. The only reason he would sleep on the couch is because now he knew I couldn't control myself and was probably just as disgusted with me as I was with myself. He probably thought I was some kind of a whore.

"Actually, you know I'm not really feeling too good. Would it be a problem if you took me home?" I couldn't bare to be around him any longer knowing that this was the beginning of the end. Any hope of having some sort of relationship with Edward was now gone and it was completely my fault. I knew it and I could tell by the way he was acting. He hadn't been ready for all of this.

"Okay," he nodded solemnly. I grabbed my tube top and shorts and rushed into the bathroom to get changed, struggling not to cry. When I came out I found Edward waiting in his living room, sneakers already on, keys in hand. He couldn't get rid of me fast enough. I slipped on my heels and grabbed my purse and followed him out the door.

The entire car ride home was completely silent except for the faint droaning of music coming from the car stereo. And really, what could I expect? It was better this way anyway. Edward realized early on that I wasn't good enough for him and got out before feelings were hurt, well, at least before his feelings were hurt. We pulled into an empty spot in front of my building and he had barely stopped the car before I threw the door open and ran up the steps to my apartment, seeking the comfort of my own bed where I could cry in solitude. I dared a glance over the balcony once I made it to the top of the steps and Edward's car was no where in sight. I threw the door open and kicked off my heels, stumbling blindly through the tears as I made my way to my room.

~000~

"Wow. You look like shit."

Maybe if I ignore him he'll think I died.

"You smell like an ashtray. What happened to you last night?"

"What the hell are you doing in my room Emmett?" I growled into my pillow.

"I stayed with Alice last night, but she went shopping with her mom so it's up to you to entertain me now," he said, bouncing on my bed. I fought the urge to vomit and slowly rolled over, sliding open an eye and hissing as the sunlight streaming in nearly blinded me. Never. Drinking. Again.

"What's the matter Izzy? Can't handle your liquor?" he grinned at me.

I flipped him off not really able to think of any sort of witty comeback in the state I was in.

"Come on sunshine, get your smelly ass in the shower. I'm starving and you're treating me to lunch."

Before I could muster up the strength to kick him in the nuts he was out of the room. I slowly set up, careful not to jostle my head too much and once the room stopped spinning I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom. Even though I was pretty sure I still had some alcohol left in my system, my head was basically clear now and images from the night before slowly crept into my mind making me feel sick in a different way. I showered as quickly as possible which seemed to help with the headache, got dressed and threw my hair back into a ponytail. I grabbed my cell phone from the dresser and against my better judgement checked it to see if I had any missed calls or texts. I had a few from Alice from the night before which were just a bunch of gibberish about how she loved me and Emmett and Edward and pretty much everyone she had ever met. Guess she was a drunk text-er. But nothing from the one person I wanted to hear from most. I could hear Emmett's loud mouth whining through the apartment for me to hurry up because he needed food now, grabbed my bag and we left. He insisted on driving and I practically broke a leg trying to climb into the tank he called a vehicle.

"So, what is all this about? What do you want?"

"What? I can't spend time with my baby sister? You've been here like a month now and we haven't hung out alone even once. Plus, school will be starting up soon and then we really won't have any free time." Great, I hurt his feelings. Guess I was getting good at that.

"Emmett, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. I can't think of anything I'd rather do today."

He gave me a brief smile and then his expression grew dark again. "Well, actually, I did want to talk to you about something with Alice."

"Okay?"

"Alright, so you know we're seeing each other now and she spends a lot of time at my place and I've been to your place a few times and everything's always great. I mean, she's the first girl I feel like really gets me and she's smart and funny and…" he trailed off, eyes trained on the road.

"I'm confused. None of those things sound like a problem?"

"They _aren't_ the problem. She always asks to stay with me or me to stay with her, but she won't let me touch her. Well, that's not true, things will always be going great for awhile, but if it starts heading in that direction she stops me. I mean, I'm not trying to force her or rush anything, but she always seems like she's really into it. Half the time she initiates it and then, I dunno, she looks scared. She keeps telling me she wants to, but she can't." He sighed heavily, his brow furrowed with confusion.

"Well, Emmett maybe she really just isn't ready. I know she likes you, trust me."

"That's not even the worst part," he continued.

I gave him a nod encouraging him to go on.

"She has these nightmares or night terrors or something. I don't know what the hell happens, but it scares the shit out of me. She just starts screaming and kicking and crying. Sometimes she starts talking and keeps begging over and over for someone or something to stop. I can never wake her up. All I can do is hold her until she comes out of it." His voice sounded strangled now, as if he was fighting to control his emotions.

"Oh my God! That's terrible. I had no idea. I mean, I've never heard anything, but I guess our rooms are far enough away from each other…" We both sat in silence. Poor Alice. She's so sweet and such a great friend, why is she going through this? And Emmett, he finally finds the girl of his dreams, the girl that's made him a one woman man and he has to deal with all of this turmoil.

"Have you tried talking to her about it?" I asked quietly.

"Of course. She won't say anything. She just acts like everything's okay, like it's perfectly normal to wake up in the middle of the night screaming your head off and flinching away from the person who loves you." He closed his eyes and shook his head at himself, clearly regretting what he had just said.

"You love her?" I smiled at him. I had never heard him utter those words ever in my entire life unless he was talking about food or football. He nodded, visibly becoming more uncomfortable as he fidgeted in his seat.

"Well, have you told her?" I didn't want to push him on something he didn't want to talk about, but this was a big deal.

"No. I only just figured it out myself. I want to tell her, but I want it to be special and with everything that's been going on I just haven't found a way to bring it up."

"Wow," I whispered under my breath. He chose to ignore me and effectively ended our conversation by turning up the radio. I couldn't believe all of this was happening. I had been so absorbed in my own petty problems that I hadn't even realized one of my best friends was going through something terrible and my own brother was in love for the first time in his entire life. I was ecstatic for him and so jealous I couldn't see straight.

"Hey, Em?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you wanna see if maybe I could talk to her? Maybe she'd be more willing to open up to another girl, ya know?"

"I dunno," he sighed. "I don't want her to think I'm telling her business to everyone, but I guess you guys have become pretty close…"

"I don't have to. I just thought maybe I could help somehow."

"Yeah, maybe so, maybe you could. If you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind, that's why I offered. I love you guys and I just want you both to be happy."

We arrived at the Port Angeles mall and circled the lot at least 5 times looking for an empty space before finally giving in and parking about a mile away. After grabbing lunch we found an empty table at the food court and Emmett was halfway through his burger before I even unwrapped mine. I heard the familiar little ring coming from my phone, telling me I had a text message, my heart fluttering frantically in my chest as I practically fell out of my chair diving for my bag. It was Angela asking me if I could come into work early the next day. Of course it was. How could I even think it would be Edward? I had suddenly lost my appetite and shoved my tray across the table towards Emmett. He eyed me suspiciously before shrugging and starting in on my food.

"Alright, I'm stuffed."

"There's a first."

"So, meet me back here in like an hour?"

"Wait, what? You forced me to come to the mall with you just so you could ditch me?"

"I'm not ditching you Bella, I'm picking up your birthday present."

"Emmett," I groaned. "You know I hate presents. You're not gonna make a big deal out of my birthday are you?"

"Bella, I'm giving you a present whether you like it or not. And no, I'm not going to make a big deal out of your birthday, but I can't promise that Alice won't." He grinned at me. "Besides, it's your 21st, you have to do something."

"I am doing something. I'm going to see Kings Of Leon with Alice. Best present ever. I don't need anything else."

"Buying yourself a ticket to a concert hardly counts as a present, plus it's the night before your actual birthday and you won't be 21 yet so I won't even be able to get you drunk. Not that you really need to be drinking again after last night."

"Um, what the hell do you mean you won't be able to get me drunk?" I stopped walking right in the middle of the mall.

"I mean that security's usually pretty tight at shit like that so I probably won't be able to sneak you any alcohol without someone noticing," he said flicking me in the forehead.

"I get that part dipshit," I said, flicking him back. "I meant, I didn't know you were coming to the concert too."

"Of course I am. KOL's the shit. Plus, did you really think I was gonna let my baby sister and girlfriend wander around the city alone at night? Edward and I bought our tickets weeks ago."

"Shit. Edward's coming too?"

"Well duh. That's what happens when you invite people places."

I groaned inwardly. I had completely forgotten that I had invited him. How was I going to be able to face him? That is, if he even came. He probably wouldn't come. I'm sure he wouldn't be able to stand having to be around me for that long. Maybe I could give my ticket to Angela or something.

I hung my head as we began walking again, wishing I was at home curled up in bed where I could wallow in my misery alone.

"Hey, what's up with you Bells?" Emmett asked, poking me in my side repeatedly until I was forced to answer him.

"Christ! Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I hadn't intended on yelling that loudly, but he was really starting to grate on my nerves. A large woman turned around and stared at me incredulously and I actually stuck my tongue out at her like the five year old I was until she turned back around.

"Hey, don't take your PMS shit out on me, I'm just trying to be a good brother. You're a terrible liar anyway and you know I'm only gonna keep bugging you until you tell me."

I glared at him and he crossed his eyes, knowing he'd make me crack up. That was what we did. We called each other names, flipped each other off and made faces until the other one laughed. Nothing had changed.

"I'm sorry I yelled. It's just-I really messed up."

"Messed what up?"

"Everything."

"Oh, well now I feel informed," he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes, but chose to ignore him.

"I meant with Edward. I screwed everything up and it's just…I didn't know I would be this upset." Here come the tears again. I swallowed against the tightness in my throat and took a deep breathe to try and calm myself.

"What do you mean you screwed things up? What happened? You guys were just together last night."

"Yeah, well you saw how drunk I got and when I drink I get ballsy. Edward and I had already made plans earlier to hang out at his place after he got off work and even though I was trashed I still wanted to spend time with him. I wound up passing out on his couch and he went to carry me to his bed and I woke up and then…"

"And then what? I'm a grown-up. I can handle it. Ya bump uglies?" he said, wagging his eyebrows at me.

"Eew gross. The fact that you just said "bump uglies" proves you're not a grown-up. And no we didn't. We just messed around."

"God, Bella that must have been terrible. You sure know how to fuck up a date," he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"No, you don't get it. Edward has been telling me since the beginning that he wanted to take things slow with us and I get a couple of shots in me and can't control myself anymore. I forced myself on him when he wasn't ready." Emmett continued to stare at me, seemingly confused. "You know, never mind. Just trust me, everything's messed up and it's completely my fault."

"So, do I need to go kick his ass or what?"

I chuckled in spite of myself and shook my head. "No. This was all me. I'm the one with issues. "

"Well Izzy I really am sorry, but at least it happened now before too many feelings were involved, right?"

"Right," I replied glumly. But that was wrong. There _were_ feelings involved, at least for me. So many I didn't even know where to begin.

~000~

I got home and threw my shopping bags on my bed. I had wound up buying three new books, way too many bras and underwear from Victoria's Secret and a CD. Guess it wasn't such a great idea to go shopping while I was upset. Alice still wasn't back yet and I had no idea what to do with myself. I called Rosalie praying she would answer, but got her voicemail instead. She was probably off somewhere fabulous at another photo shoot surrounded by gorgeous men. I cleaned out my underwear drawer and replaced all of my old ones with the new ones I bought, shelved my books and popped my CD into the stereo. I checked my cell again for the hundredth time in the past hour, but still nothing. We had never gone this long without talking. I never knew it would feel this way. I never realized how strong my feelings had grown for him. I did a load of laundry, straightened up my living room and flopped down on the sofa, hoping to find something to watch to take my mind off of Edward for awhile. After two hours of mindless sitcoms I heard Alice calling out for me down the hall to my apartment. I leapt off of the couch and practically knocked her over in my excitement.

"Hi! It's good to see you too Bella," she laughed at me.

"Hey, sorry. I'm just glad you're home. I've been bored to death. How was your day?" I followed her back through to her living room and slumped down in an over-stuffed chair.

"It was great! I finally got to spend some alone time with my mom. She's been stuck up her new boyfriend's ass the past few months so I barely see her anymore."

I wasn't trying to be rude, but I couldn't focus on what Alice was saying. My thoughts were always on Edward. I wondered if he was thinking about me at all.

"Does that sound okay?"

My head snapped up at the sound of her voice asking me a direct question and I could feel my face grow hot. I hadn't heard a word she had said for the past three minutes.

"Uh, what?"

"Bella! Were you even listening to me? I asked if you had taken off for the night of the concert and your birthday yet? I figured before the show we could all get dinner at that new sushi place and then Friday night I have plans for your birthday so I wanted to make sure you weren't already doing something with Edward and…Bella! What's up with you? Are you still hung over or what?" Alice was standing in front of me now, hands on her hips, tapping her little foot impatiently.

"Um, Alice I don't think I'm going to be able to go to the concert," I mumbled, preparing for the wrath she was about to unleash. We had been planning on that night since the first time we met and she was so excited I didn't want to disappoint her, but I didn't know what else to do.

"What the hell do you mean you're not gonna be able to go?" Her voice was unnaturally high. I felt my chin begin to quiver and my eyes blur over with tears. I tried to fight the sobs coming up out of my chest, but I had been holding back all day and really needed to just let it all out.

"Oh sweetie, what's wrong?" Alice perched herself on the arm of my chair and stroked my hair.

After collecting myself I told her the whole story starting with after her and Emmett left the bar and finishing up with him dropping me off last night and me not talking to him all day. She danced across the room and handed me a box of tissues, rubbing small circles on my back, but the crying wouldn't stop. This had all been building up for months now. The death of my parents, catching Jake cheating on me, leaving Rosalie behind to move to a completely new state and start a new job and then everything with Edward…I was an emotional wreck. I hadn't realized how I had been bottling up my emotions until this moment and felt slightly less crazy knowing that maybe I was so upset over Edward because all of these other feelings had been trapped underneath. And Alice never interrupted, not even once. How did I get lucky enough to find a friend like her? After tiring myself out from all of the crying I decided to call it a night. I shuffled back to my room, promising myself I was not going to look at my phone, but that only lasted until I saw it laying on my bed. Still no Edward. I decided that I was going to take matters into my own hands. I took a deep breath and scrolled through the names on my phone until I found his. I deliberated for a minute, wondering if I had completely lost my mind all together, but quickly deciding I didn't care because Edward was too important to me and if nothing else I at least needed to apologize to him for my behavior. As I expected he didn't pick up and it went into his voicemail.

"Hey, uh it's Bella, um I just wanted to talk to you so I guess give me a call if you can."

~000~

Three days. Three long, excruciating days since I had talked to Edward. I knew not having him in my life would hurt, but I never expected it to be like this. How could it hurt this bad when I had only known him for a little over a month? But knowing that didn't change how I felt. I called him and sent him text messages, but still no response. My cell phone was practically glued to my hand. I carried it in my smock when I was at work, had it in my front pocket at all times when I was home and even kept it on the pillow next to me while I slept, but nothing changed. Three days turned into four and four into five and I even had Emmett try and convince him to talk to me, but he refused to tell him what was going on. My days drug on and I waited for things to get easier, but they never did. I tossed and turned at night, my dreams of Edward and feeling his lips on mine keeping me awake for hours on end. I kept trying to convince myself that this was all for the best, but not seeing Edward didn't feel right at all.

On Saturday I was sitting in my usual position in front of the television, sweats on, hair up, junk food in hand when Alice decided she needed to "stage an intervention."

"That's it Bella! I've watched you mope around all week and I'm not gonna watch it anymore. We're going out." She declared, giving me a stern look.

"Alice, I'm really not in the mood." I could already hear myself beginning to whine.

"You have half an hour to get ready and then you and I are going to the club."

"Club? What club? I don't even have anything to wear."

"Bella, so help me I will hold you down and dress you myself. Now go!"

I slid off the couch, but not before giving Alice a dirty look and stomped off into my bedroom. A club? Is she serious? The last thing I felt like doing was going out and having a good time. I pulled on a pair of black, skinny jeans and a tight, red tank top that I figured Alice would approve of.

I pulled my hair out of the rubber band and it fell in loose waves down my back. It was actually cooperating for once. I was searching my room for the black heels Alice had insisted I buy when we had our shopping excursion a few weeks ago when she burst in my room scaring the crap out of me.

"Shit Alice! What is your problem?"

"Just making sure you were actually getting ready. I told you I'd dress you myself and I wasn't kidding. Are you almost done?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to find my heels."

"They're on the top shelf of your closet to the left."

I could feel myself staring her down and slowly opened my closet door. Sure enough, they were exactly where she said they would be.

"Um, Alice did you re-organize my closet?" I asked over my shoulder.

She didn't say anything, but gave me an innocent smile and a shrug and I knew that was a yes.

We pulled up in front of the club in Port Angeles an hour later and for the first time in a long time I felt a little surge of excitement pass through me. There was a line out the door and halfway around the building and I was a little surprised at the fact that so many people were trying to get inside. I guess the fact that this was the only club within about a 50 mile radius probably had something to do with it. There was shit to do around here unless you were getting drunk or going to the mall. Alice of course waltzed right past everyone in line, effectively getting dirty looks from them all, and up to the bouncer who scooped her up into a big hug as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey small fry! Where the hell you been?" he bellowed at her, seemingly wrapped around her little finger just like the rest of us.

"I've been around," she laughed, tugging my hand to come closer.

"Amun, this is Bella. Bella this is Amun. We went to high school together."

"Hey, it's nice to meet you." I reached out to shake his hand.

"So, are you gonna let us in or what?" she whispered conspiratorially.

"Alice, are you trying to get my ass kicked? Did you not see the looks you got when you cut in front of all these people?"

She waved her hand dismissively and stuck her bottom lip out.

"You're not really gonna make us wait out here all night, right?" she pouted.

"You're lucky I love you kid. Get your narrow behind in there." He smirked down at her, shaking his head.

"Thanks babe!" she called over her shoulder as she pulled me with her into the club.

We walked through the tiny hallway up into the main entrance of the club. It was packed with so many people I couldn't see to the other side of the room. There was a big sitting area with couches and a bar that wrapped all the way around the perimeter of the right side of the building. To my left was where the DJ was, standing behind a glass booth, with a platform connected to the front for people to dance on that took up the entire wall. The huge dance floor took up the rest of the building with another bar in the middle. I definitely wasn't expecting anything this grand to be in Port Angeles. The club was dark, accept for the red, green and purple lights that were pulsing to the beat of the music. Alice was still holding my hand and dragging me towards an empty spot in front of the bar.

"Come on, let's get drinks!" she yelled over the rap song that was blasting through the speakers.

"I can't. Not legal, remember?"

"Oh, like that's gonna stop me. Come on. I order two for myself and give one to you. No one around here's paying any attention anyway."

"I dunno. Last time I agreed to drink with you I practically got alcohol poisoning."

"Oh shut up! You exaggerate. You need a drink to loosen up. Seriously Bella, I've never seen you look so depressed. It's my duty as your roommate and friend to get you drunk and make you dance!"

I had no idea how she was so damn happy all the time, especially after what Emmett told me about her and the nightmares, but I had never felt luckier than I did in this moment to have her as my friend. She ordered two Italian Surfers which I had never heard of in my life and we snuck off to a dark corner of the dance floor where she could get me liquored up properly without anyone suspecting a thing.

It was the most delicious drink I had ever had and I quickly downed it, relishing in the warm tingles it sent through my chest and down into my stomach. I knew I was going to regret this later, but at the moment I couldn't find it in me to care. I needed this. I needed to feel something other than loss and the huge, empty hole in my life created by the absence of my parents and people that were supposed to care…and Edward. Alice finished off her drink and we squeezed through the crowd to find an empty spot on the dance floor. We quickly sandwiched ourselves in the sea of sweating and gyrating bodies and for the first time in a long time all I could feel was the alcohol buzzing in my brain and the bass from the speakers thrumming through my chest. I closed my eyes and let the music erase everything else from my brain, swinging my hips and flipping my hair. When I opened them again Alice was standing in front of me with two more in her hand, looking like the cat that ate the canary. We quickly downed those too and continued to dance. My tank top was sticking to my back and my feet were killing me, but I was having a great time.

"Come, on let's do shots!" Alice yelled in my ear and turned to walk away before I could protest that she had to drive us home. By the time I pushed my way through the crowd and found her at the bar I had completely forgotten why this hadn't been a good idea and I threw back my shot, hoping no one would catch on that I was underage. It hit me immediately but I was too far gone to care about it now. The crowd started cheering and even more bodies found their way onto the floor as a popular song came on. I leaned into Alice, "Hey how are we getting home? Neither one of us are in any shape to drive," I said proving my point further as I swayed a little on my feet.

"Yeah, I realized that about four songs ago. I sent Emmett a text message, he's gonna pick us up in a little bit and I'll come get my car tomorrow."

Great I thought, rolling my eyes.

We resumed our dancing and I was off in my own little world when I felt a sharp elbow in my back. I continued dancing figuring it was probably an accident due to all of the people dancing until someone pushed into me so hard I flew into Alice causing her to knock into the person behind her. I turned around and immediately recognized the fake, orange tan face staring back at me.

"Oh Bella! Hey how's it going?" Jessica slurred at me. She was surrounded by an army of skanks and if I had thought she was underdressed at Mike's party I was sorely mistaken.

"Hey Jess," I gave her a polite smile and wave while Alice just rolled her eyes. We were about to move to another part of the dance floor when I heard a voice call out behind me.

"Wait a minute _you're_ Bella?"

I turned around to face a girl about my size with strawberry blonde hair and way too much makeup on. Her perfume hit me in the face and made me want to gag and as we stood there staring each other down, realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Tanya. What the fuck was Jessica doing with Tanya? They were friends? I could feel my stomach twisting and burning and I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the fact that I was staring into the face of pure evil. I continued to stare at her, trying to process the fact that Edward actually dated her and touched her and had sex with her. Before I could say anything she turned to Jessica and said, "_This_ is the bitch he broke up with me for? Are you serious? She's not even pretty."

"Excuse me?" I hissed back.

"You. You're the reason Edward left me," she growled, shoving a pointed, red finger nail into my chest.

"Hey, don't touch her!" Alice said, trying to shove her way in between us.

The anger was bubbling up inside of me, burning my face. "No. Actually I had nothing to do with it. Edward left you because you're a dumb whore." I whipped back around and grabbed Alice's arm, shoving people out of my way as I tried to find the door. I needed air.

"What the fuck did you say to me?"

"I said, Edward left you because you're a dumb whore and I'm finished talking to you," I spat at her.

"Well I'm not finished talking to you bitch!" Tanya hollered. People were starting to divide on opposite sides of the room, forming a half circle around us. Just as I made it to the entrance I felt a hand reach out and grab a fistful of my hair, throwing me backward.

"Ow, fuck!" I grabbed the back of my head, rubbing it where the hair had been yanked by the root.

"I said I'm not finished talking to you," Tanya yelled at me, pushing me to my limit. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was all of the anger and hurt and frustration I had pent up inside of me. Or maybe it was the fact that even though Edward didn't want me anymore I still cared about him and the person standing in front of me had broken his heart. Before anyone could stop me or I could even stop myself, I pulled back my fist and it met Tanya's face with a satisfying crunching sound. It hurt my knuckles like hell and I had probably broken a finger or two, but the sheer pleasure I got out of it trumped everything else. The next thing I knew she was grabbing me, pulling at my hair and ripping at my clothes, clawing at my face with her talon-like fingernails. After that everything happened in flashes before my eyes. I was blind with rage. Alice was screaming at me, begging me to stop, the music blaring through the room was abruptly cut off and I was rolling with Tanya to the floor, pinning her to the ground and punching her in the face. The next thing I knew I was being pried off of her. A pair of strong arms picked me up by waist, carried me outside and plopped me down on the curb. I could feel blood trickling down my chin from the corner of my lip, but I knew that the damage I had done to Tanya had been far worse. I was bent down over my knees trying to catch my breath while Alice rubbed my back and told whoever had picked me up that it wasn't my fault and that Tanya started it. I lifted my head and saw two pairs of shoes standing in front of me. The first I recognized as Emmett's brown, scuffed up boots and the second pair, the pair that was closer to me were old, beat up Chucks and I began struggling to breathe again. He crouched down in front of me, hooking my chin with his finger and bringing my face up to his. My heart skipped erratically and I struggled with the urge to fling myself at the gorgeous man staring back at me with concern and confusion.

"Edward," I breathed out, not sure he was entirely real and I wasn't suffering from a concussion that caused me to hallucinate.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking?"

**Thoughts? Reviews encourage me to write more lemons :D**


	7. Feeling Good

**So this is the third time I'm editing this now because FF won't save my changes. Aaaaanyway, who's proud? I updated and it hasn't been 75 years! Thank you all so much for the reviews and to everyone who favorited me and my story. It's greatly appreciated! So it's about time E&B had some more sexy time, no? Lemony goodness awaits. You've been warned! Also, a shoutout to my Twitter girls, too many to list but I love you all who pimp me and my FF out. I have the best followers in the world! I do not own Twilight or it's characters , I just like to mess with them and make them do dirty things ;D. On with it!**

**Update: Alright I re-read this chapter again because I have OCD like that and realized the changes that I thought had been made didn't go through because Fanfic was busting my balls last night. Anyway since I don't have a beta I checked again and realized there were a few grammar/spelling errors and parts that didn't make sense. Hopefully that should all be fixed now. There were a few things added in, just random dialogue between B&E that I really wanted in there. If you already read the chapter, you don't have to read again because the story has pretty much remained the same. Hopefully it's up to par now**_!_

_She said if we're gonna make this work you gotta let me inside even though it hurts_

_Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see_

_She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be_

_You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me_

_I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around_

_I know what's at stake, I know that I've let you down_

_And if you give me a chance and give me a break I'll keep us together, whatever it takes_

_Whatever It Takes-Lifehouse_

**~EDWARD~**

"Edward, you better have one hell of a good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right now." Emmett had somehow managed to squeeze his big ass in my recliner and was glaring at me from across the room.

"Um, no not really. I don't. If I could I'd kick my own ass." And I meant it. I looked like shit, I felt like shit and I hadn't slept all week. Everything had been going great with Bella. We had fallen into a comfortable routine of seeing each other in the morning and talking on the phone for hours on end at night and I knew I was turning into that guy I always hated. The one who woke up with a big, goofy grin on his face for no reason other than he was going to get to see his girl that day. _My_ girl. I was already thinking of her as my girlfriend and we had only been out on a few dates. I found myself sending her random text messages throughout the day just to let her know I was thinking about her. She was constantly on my mind no matter where I was or what I was doing, but seeing her every day for a week wasn't enough for me, I had to invite her to the bar.

I knew she was going to drink, I had expected it. She was a 20 year old girl getting free alcohol, but I still should have known better. I should have left work and taken her home. I had promised myself that I wasn't going to fuck things up with her. Bella was different and I wanted to show her she was special, not just some piece of ass that I was trying to hook up with. I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on her that she was too good for me. I should have stayed away. She was drunk and I took advantage of her and on top of it all, now she thinks _I'm_ mad at _her_. It should be the other way around. She should see me for what I truly am and know that I could never be good for her. She didn't know what she was saying that night and I had sworn that we were going to take things slow, but I couldn't control my horny ass. Kissing Bella was the most amazing thing I had ever felt in my entire life and I just wanted to touch her and hold her, know what it sounded like when my name fell from her lips, when I was the one pushing her to the limits of pleasure because I am a selfish asshole. After we had fooled around, the only relevant thought I could make was that I wanted her to be mine and that's when I realized I needed to stay as far away from her as possible.

She tried to get in touch with me all week, leaving voicemails that broke my heart. She was actually questioning what she had done wrong. Why couldn't she just see that I was all wrong for her and let it go? I hadn't meant for things to go so far. She was far more important than some drunken grope fest. I slumped down into the sofa and rested my head on the back, closing my eyes, waiting for Emmett to finish reaming my ass out so I could get drunk and go to bed as was my nightly ritual now.

"Well, I sure as hell wasn't expecting that for an answer," Emmett said. "Edward, didn't I tell you not to make my sister cry again? That's all she's done for a week now."

Fuck. If I didn't feel like shit before I definitely did now. But I deserved to feel this way. I'm the one that had caused all of this.

"Emmett look, I'm not good for her. She deserves better than me. I have nothing to offer her." I didn't bother opening my eyes as I spoke.

"Oh for Christ's sake! What are you talking about? Don't you see how much you mean to her? She doesn't care about any of that shit. Your past is in the past. You're not that person anymore."

I said nothing because there was nothing more for me to say, no way to justify myself or my actions. Bella didn't need to know about my past. She didn't need to be a part of my world in that way.

"You haven't told her, have you?"

Again I didn't bother looking at him and just shook my head no.

"That's fucked up Edward and you know it. How can you expect her to make a decision about whether she wants to be with you or not when she doesn't have all of the information? You're pushing her away without even giving her a chance."

I sat up and looked him dead in the eye. "She doesn't need to make a decision, I'm making it for her. I should have never gotten this involved with her. I knew better! You think she's upset now? What do you think would've happened to her if we had been together and then she found out about all of my shit?" He sat in silence glaring at me and I wished he would just get this the hell over with and leave already. The silence was abruptly broken as Emmett's cell went off. He dug it out of his pocket, read the message and jumped up out of his seat.

"I have to go pick up Alice and Bella."

"Why, what's wrong?" Immediately panic set in, the mere thought of anything happening to Bella made me want to puke.

"They went to the club in PA and they've both had way too much to drink and can't drive home. You're coming with me. There's no way I'm going to be able to watch the both of them and get them out of there without one of them getting hurt. Bella falls down when she's sober."

Shit. I knew he was right and I wanted to go. I wanted to see her, needed to see her, but this was only going to complicate things further. She needed to stay away from me and I knew that if I saw her again that would be it, I wouldn't be able to keep away from her. I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting with myself on what to do.

"You don't have a choice Edward. Get your ass dressed and meet me downstairs," he said slamming the door behind him. I am so screwed.

~000~

We started to walk across the parking lot to the club where a group of people were huddled outside, cheering and yelling. As we got closer I could here several different conversations with everyone talking about the same thing.

"Did you see that shit? She just knocked her to the ground and started wailing on her."

"…No freakin' way. I got money on the redhead. Did you see her pull that brunette's hair?"

"I can't believe she pulled her hair. I would've punched her in the face too!"

Emmett and I exchanged a glance as we pushed our way through the people to try and find Alice and Bella; my breathing started to pick up. We got to the door, showed the bouncer our IDs and immediately saw a crowd formed around something in the center of the room. I followed him in as he shoved people out of the way and nearly passed out when I saw what was on the other side of the crowd. There was Tanya, the bane of my existence, laying on the ground with Bella sitting on top of her pinning her down. Tanya had her fingers twisted through Bella's hair and was trying to hold her back. I watched Bella grab a handful of Tanya's hair, pick her head up and slam it back into the ground. Alice was standing to Bella's side screaming at her to stop, but nothing could break the two of them up. And no one even bothered stepping in. What were they gonna do? Just watch while they fought to the death? Without even thinking I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and carried her sideways under my arm out the door. I saw Emmett grab Alice in my periphery and could here Tanya cussing me out the whole way.

I sat her down on the curb and she fell over herself, trying to catch her breath. Alice slumped down next to her trying to calm her and Emmett both down, explaining as quickly as she could that Tanya had started it and Bella had tried to walk away. I wanted to be furious. I wanted to ask her if she was out of her fucking mind. I wanted to know why two girls went out to a club by themselves at night and got drunk without anyone there to protect them, but all I could think about was being near her. I wanted to pull her into my arms and make everything okay. Tell her how much she meant to me and that I was never letting her go again, but I couldn't. I bent down in front of her and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me, needing her to look at me.

"Edward," she half whispered, shock and confusion covering her face.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking?"

I watched her eyes blur over and her chin began to quiver. She was crying again and it was because of me. She had scratches on both arms and her shirt was stretched and hanging awkwardly off of her body where it had been pulled. She had a busted lip and a few scratches marring her face as well, but she was still absolutely breath taking. She was trying so hard to fight the sobs ripping through her chest, but I knew she was about to break down and we needed to get out of here before the cops showed up and Bella was arrested for underage drinking. I reached out and scooped her up, my arms longing to feel her weight against them. Emmett gave me a small nod and I carried her to his Hummer with her head buried in my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt. I sat her in the backseat and crawled in next to her while Emmett put Alice up front. Bella continued to cry the whole ride home, not saying anything and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to grab her and kiss her pain away, hold her together before she fell apart even further, but I sat there motionless, frozen. By the time we arrived at their building Alice was passed out so Emmett carried her bridal style up to the apartment while I helped Bella climb out of the back. We walked all the way to her door in silence, but I wasn't about to leave her unattended in her current condition. Emmett carried Alice through into her bedroom while we stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Come on, let me help you inside," I said, knowing I at least owed her an apology.

She nodded, still not speaking and limping slightly as I followed her through Alice's living room, down the tiny hall and into her bathroom. I stood behind her in the doorway as she struggled to get out of her clothes to evaluate the extent of her injuries and I pretended that she wasn't stripping in front of me. Not now, Masen.

"Here, let me help you," I said softly, gently pushing her shoulder for her to sit on the edge of her tub while I helped her pull her jeans off the rest of the way. I tried not to pay attention to how soft and satiny her legs felt as my knuckles grazed against them. She could hardly lift her arms high enough to pull her shirt off and I gently bent each arm for her, pushing it through the holes of her tank and sliding it off over her head. She had on a cream colored lace and satin bra with matching underwear that complimented her alabaster skin quite nicely and for a second I felt sick. Did she wear these hoping someone would see them? Had she gone to the club with Alice tonight looking for a hookup? I tried to shake those thoughts from my mind knowing I needed to focus on getting Bella cleaned up. She had a small trail of dried blood that had ran down her leg from the gash on her knee. I gently rubbed the pad of my thumb above it, wincing because I knew she was in pain.

"She kicked me with her stupid, pointy boot," she mumbled, peeking up at me through her tear soaked lashes.

"Do you have any Peroxide?"

"There's a First Aid kit under the sink," she pointed behind me.

I grabbed the tiny, white box and pulled out gauze, Peroxide and a band-aid while she watched me intently.

"Edward," she paused waiting for me to look at her. "Why are you here?"

"You're hurt and you need help," I replied, knowing that wasn't what she meant.

"No, I mean why did you come tonight? You've ignored me for a week now and then-and then suddenly you show up out of thin air to come and rescue me?" I could hear her voice getting thick again as she struggled with her emotions.

"I was with Emmett when Alice texted him and he told me he needed me to come with him to get you guys. He said he couldn't handle both of you drunk by himself," I laughed, but it didn't reach my eyes.

I stretched her leg out and placed her foot on my knee, tore open the little package containing the gauze and poured some Peroxide on it, gently dabbing it to her wound. She flinched and hissed as it made contact and I pulled it back to gently blow the sting away.

"Can I say something?" she said so low I almost didn't hear her. I tenderly placed a band-aid over her knee and got fresh gauze to tend to her various other injuries. I nodded, continuing my work and hoping like hell I could continue to keep up this front.

"I'm just-I'm just so sorry Edward. I never meant to act the way I did that night. I had too much to drink, but that's not an excuse. I should have controlled myself. I didn't mean to do that to you…" she trailed off as more tears streamed silently down her cheeks. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces behind my ribs. I was smart enough to know that she had thought this was because of her, but I didn't realize it would hurt this bad to hear it aloud.

"Bella," I reached up and stroked the side of her face, she closed her eyes leaning into my hand. "Bella, it's not you. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing."

"It _is_ me. It's my fault."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you can only have so many people that you care about leave you until you start thinking that maybe it's you."

"Bella, I-"

"No Edward, don't." She cut me off and leaned back to look me in the eyes, shaking her head slowly. "You don't get it. My parents are dead Edward and they're never coming back and even though logically I know I had nothing to do with it, I still walk around with this enormous amount of guilt every day of my life. I find myself questioning every single thing I did or said or didn't do or say. Did they know I loved them? Did I say it enough? Were they proud of me?" She sobbed silently, her shoulders shaking and tears flowing down her beautiful face.

"Isabella," I kissed each cheek, trying desperately to erase her pain. "It is not your fault. And I'm sure that your parents knew how much you loved them. You are an incredible person. I'm sure they were extremely proud of you and Emmett." She nodded, but the tears still came.

"It's not just that. It's the whole thing with Jake too, my ex." I didn't want to imagine her ever being with anyone else, much less the guy that had caused her so much pain and heartbreak on top of the pain she already had, but I knew she needed to get this all out.

"Emmett and I grew up with Jacob and his family. My parents and his parents were pretty much inseperable. They would hang out on the weekends and us kids would have to tag along. As far back as I can remember Jake was a part of my life. When we were little, like 5 or 6 maybe, Emmett was constantly picking on me. He lived to torment me, but Jake was always there sticking up for me. He quickly became my best friend, which only pissed Emmett off further, but we were practically joined at the hip," she paused, smiling to herself, remembering better times. "The summer when Emmett graduated and was getting ready to come here for college, we wanted to spend every single second together; our group. Me, Jake, Emmett and my other best friend Rosalie. Emmett and Rose had been off and on for awhile and the four of us decided that we were gonna spend the day at the beach near Jake's house. Jake and I went for a walk and wound up on top of these cliffs that overlooked the water. I still don't know how far down it was." She hung her head as she continued talking. "We were messing around and he dared me to jump off, said people did it all the time and it looked like fun so I did and at first it was amazing! It was so exhilarating and freeing and surfacing up through the water for the first time was like nothing I had ever felt in my entire life. I could see Jake standing on top of the cliffs, so far away, cheering and laughing and I waved to him and that was the last thing I remember."

I felt a pain deep in my gut, not liking where this story was going. "What happened?" I choked out.

"We hadn't taken into consideration that a storm was coming. The tide was rough and strong, it kept pulling me under. I was struggling against it for so long, fighting to catch even the smallest breath of oxygen and I couldn't fight it anymore. I wasn't strong enough. It pulled me under and all I can remember thinking is I was so tired and it was much easier to just shut my eyes and float."

I could feel my throat getting tight, restricting my air flow while I listened to Bella's story and imagined a world without her.

"The next thing I knew I was laying on the sand, Jacob was over top of me pumping my chest, begging and pleading for me to stay with him. He saved my life Edward. After that our bond grew even stronger. He was there for me when Emmett left and when Rose and I would get into one of our stupid fights or I thought my parents were being unfair. God, if I had only known…" She trailed off, getting lost in her thoughts again. "We didn't become serious until after I graduated and we moved into together. It felt like the natural thing to do. I _thought_ I was in love with him, but I realize now that was only because I didn't really know what love was." She paused, staring at me so intently I wondered if her words had a hidden meaning. "He started hanging out with these guys. We went to high school with them and we weren't really friends, but we would all hang out on occasion. I never really liked them. They were always egging Jake on and influencing him to do things he wouldn't have normally done. He was back and forth with drugs and constantly running around, drinking all night."

I tried to swallow against the lump in my throat. If she only knew.

"He never wanted to spend time with me anymore and he always had some lame ass excuse about why he was always late or missed dinner or was just never actually there. After my parents d-after my parents died, his anger grew even more out of control. He never hit me or anything, but I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he would one day. All we did was fight and he told me I needed to get over my parents death." She hung her head, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks, off her chin and into her lap. "I caught him cheating on me right after that. And you know, it's not even the fact that he was cheating. I know now that we weren't meant to be in a romantic relationship, but I lost a friend Edward. Someone I had grown up with and loved my whole life. Does that even make sense?"

"Bella, it makes perfect sense. I had no idea that he had done those things to you. He was too blind to see how wonderful and perfect you are, he's probably kicking himself in the ass right now for ever hurting you; for letting you go."

She gave me a small smile and shrugged. "Honestly, it hurts, but only because he was such a huge part of my life for so long. I know now that maybe it didn't have anything to do with me. Maybe it _was_ him."

"No, not maybe. Definitely. Bella, I am so sorry that I took advantage of you. I should have known better. You had been drinking and-I just never should have done that." I hung my head, wracked with even more guilt for my actions after knowing everything she had been through.

Her eyes flew open and she jerked her head back. "Take advantage of me? Edward how can you say that? I was the one that wouldn't leave well enough alone. You told me we should take things slow and I didn't listen. I forced myself on you."

I laughed out loud and she glared at me. I couldn't help it. This beautiful girl sitting in front of me was actually absurd enough to think that this was simply because I didn't want her. She huffed at my laughing, crossing her arms over her chest and unintentionally squeezing her breasts together in the most enticing way.

"Bella, listen to me. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the ridiculousness of this situation. You did not _force_ yourself on me. That's quite nearly impossible. I was a willing participant."

"Then what is the problem Edward? Was it not…good? Did I do something…" She dropped her head and stared down at her lap.

"God, how can I make you understand this? It's not you. It really is me." I paused, drawing in a deep breath. "No, you know what? It is you. You're too good for me, can't you see that?"

She snapped her head back up with a furious look on her face. "How can you say that? Edward, you're the most incredible guy I've ever known."

I just sat there on her bathroom floor shaking my head, feeling lower than I've felt in awhile. "I'm not. You think you know me, but you don't know anything."

"Because you won't let me! You haven't given me a chance to learn anything about you Edward!" she said throwing her arms up.

She was right. I knew she was right. Emmett had told me the very same thing, but it still didn't change the fact that I was scared as hell.

"Edward I know that this isn't what you want. _You_ were the one that came after _me_. _You_ chased _me _down until I talked to you and learned the truth about Tanya. You're the one who asked _me_ out and called me every night and wanted me to visit you at work. That has to mean something," she said softly, reaching out a trembling hand to grab mine. I knew this was a losing battle. I didn't have the strength to stay away from her, I was too selfish.

"Bella, I'm scared," I whispered.

She slid off the tub and was on her knees in front of me so that we were face to face. "Of what?" she whispered back, her sweet, hot breath fanning across my face.

"Of _this_. Of everything. Of us," I sighed, feeling a huge weight lifting off of me as I finally confessed this, finally admitted it to myself.

"And you think I'm not?"

"Bella there's shit from my past that I'm not proud of, that my own family won't even talk to me because of. What if I wind up hurting you?" I hung my head again not able to stand the utter compassion and understanding pouring from her as she stared at me.

"Hey, look at me." She placed her hot, little hands on each side of my face. "I don't care, Edward. I know I probably should, but I don't. And it doesn't matter how long it takes for you to tell me what happened, I'm not going anywhere. I am absolutely terrified of getting hurt, of having my heart broken, of trusting someone again, but _you_ are worth it to me. And I know that it hurts more not having you at all."

How could this be possible? How could my feelings be so strong for this girl? All I wanted was her. Was it even possible that she wanted me just as much?

"Edward I understand why you want to take things slow, I do. And I realize that maybe me being drunk wasn't the best way for us to move things along, but now that I know you're not mad at me, I don't regret it all. Not one little bit. And if you're not ready to tell me every sordid detail of your life you don't have to, but that shouldn't stop us from moving forward together. I want you and I think you want me too."

"I do. So much. Can you forgive me? Can we try this again?"

"Come here." She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me to her, her mouth pushing down on mine. I breathed a sigh of relief feeling her lips on mine again. Tasting her sweetness and feeling us move together was like filling a hole inside of me I didn't even know was there until she was the one filling it. Saying I had missed this would have been a huge understatement and I had nearly forgotten that I was mad as hell at her for getting into a fight to begin with.

"Hey," I reluctantly broke away, already missing the feeling of her mouth molded against mine. "Why the hell were you fighting, especially with Tanya?"

"I'm not normally like that Edward, I swear. She was there with Jessica and just the fact that those two are friends threw me completely off guard and then Tanya started saying all of these horrible things to me about how I came between the two of you and when I tried to walk away she grabbed me by the back of my head and tried to pull me down! I just felt the need to defend myself and defend you. I've had so much built up these past few months…I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I know you probably think I'm a terrible person." She hung her head in shame and I was debating on whether or not I should go and find Tanya myself. I sat there in silence for several minutes until I could calm myself down enough to speak again. Who the fuck did Tanya think she was?

"I can't believe this shit! You know none of that's true don't you? Do you see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Something from my past that you don't need to be involved in. And this-this whole thing with Tanya is _nothing_ compared to the other shit that's happened."

"Edward I'm too tired to get into this with you again. I told you I don't care and I meant it, so you're just gonna have to deal with the fact that I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me."

Stuck with her. She said it as though it were some horrible burden I was going to have to bear. She had no idea that the mere fact she even considered spending time with me made me the luckiest son of a bitch in the entire world. She stood up and held out her hand, pulling me up off of the floor and into her arms, not even realizing the huge significance behind that one simple action. God I'm an asshole. Bella had just poured her heart out to me, told me everything that was weighing down on her, that cut her to the core and here she was comforting me. We continued to hold each other and I felt as though I was going to explode with joy at any second. She pulled back and started to chew on her lip, gazing up at me. God I loved that.

"Will you stay with me?" she whispered, blushing furiously.

"Wherever you are is where I'm at."

~000~

I had been lying awake for at least two hours now, still trying to wrap my mind around the fact I was here with Bella, with her cradled in my arms. The night before I had cleaned the rest of her wounds and helped her get dressed. Apparently she didn't own any actual pajamas because everything she pulled out was some sort of tank top thing with matching "boy shorts". I never understood that term anyway because if anything, they more closely resembled underwear, not shorts. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into bed after her knowing it was going to be an extremely long night if I had to lay here half naked with her in a little white, cotton top and bottoms that were pretty much see through. I gave her a small, chaste kiss good night and she passed out almost immediately with her head resting on my chest and her legs tangled with mine. I had only gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep because I was too damn excited that we were together and I didn't want to miss out on one single moment. I woke up to the sound of soft whimpers and Bella whispering my name, pulling herself even closer into my body. The thought of her having dreams about me made me smile like the smug bastard that I was and I had been awake ever since, not daring to move because us laying here this way was damn near perfect. She had barely moved the entire night, but now her hand was resting dangerously close to my morning wood and I struggled with myself to not shift my weight and accidentally brush up against her. I had memorized her entire room, taking in every minor detail that I could, hoping to understand every single thing that made Bella who she was. It was part innocent little girl, part goddess just like her. Her shelf was filled with rows upon rows of books and music and little trinkets. Her dresser was littered with papers and beauty products and for once, seeing clutter didn't irritate the shit out of me. It was her clutter and for some reason it was different. I felt her tiny body stretch against mine and she moaned, which went straight to my dick.

"Good morning," she mumbled in the sexiest sleep-voice I had ever heard.

"Good morning gorgeous," I replied, even though gorgeous didn't quite cover it. She sat up next to me and I watched her yawn, lifting her hands above her head causing her tank to rise and expose more skin than should be legal this early in the morning. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep and she had the hottest case of bed-head I'd ever seen. She blushed a deep pink at my sentiment and bit her lip.

"You seem awfully chipper. How long have you been awake?"

"Oh only about an hour or two," I laughed, watching her eyes grow in surprise.

"Two hours! Why the hell didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you looked so damn adorable I didn't have the heart and I wanted to see how many times you were going to say my name."

"What?" Her eyes grew impossibly larger and she blushed an even deeper crimson as she looked away.

"Hey," I cupped my hands around her heart-shaped face and forced her to look at me. "Don't be embarrassed. I have dreams about you all the time."

"Oh really?" She quirked an eyebrow. "Are they any good?"

"Mmm, they're extremely good." We were just a breath apart now, my thumb stroking her cheek.

"Oh yeah?" she breathed out.

"Mhmm," I mumbled not being able to stand the distance between us anymore. I slowly closed the space between us, watching Bella's eyes flutter shut as I softly pressed my lips to hers. She sighed into my mouth and her hands slowly traveled their way up my arms, over my shoulders and finally up into my hair. The things this girl could do to me with just one touch was like nothing I had ever felt before. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her onto my lap, her long legs wrapping around my hips.

"Is this okay?" I whispered, hoping I wasn't pushing things too far again. She put her hands on my chest and pushed back to look at me.

"Is this okay with _you_?" she said in a low voice.

"Well obviously."

"Then stop worrying Edward. I'm not going to do anything I don't want to. I think we can handle this."

She pressed her body back into mine, more forceful than before, gently easing me onto my back while still straddling me. She moved ever so slightly, my erection pressing right into the place I had been fantasizing about since the last time we were together this way, eliciting a small moan from both of us. She kissed me with such ferocity and passion I could hardly breathe and she slowly began swiveling her hips. I could feel her heat and wetness soaking through the little cotton shorts into the thin fabric of my boxers. I rocked back into her causing her to gasp as the head of my cock brushed over her clit, making her push up into me harder and faster. I pulled the straps of her tank top down over her shoulders, releasing her perfect tits right into my face and broke free from her mouth to trail kisses down the front of her throat, slowly making my way to her soft, gorgeous breasts and sucking an erect, pink nipple into my mouth. God, she tasted so fucking good. I sucked and pulled and practically fucking made out with her boob because I couldn't imagine having anything more delicious in my mouth at the moment…well, maybe there _was_ something else I couldn't wait to get my lips on. Her whimpers and moans grew louder and she was grinding against me fast and hard, her eyes closed and head tilted back; the most gorgeous sight I had ever seen. I sat back up and pushed her down onto the bed, her breast pulling out of my mouth with a little popping sound, glistening and wet. I needed to feel her underneath me. I couldn't control my urges any longer and as much as I wanted to just pound into her already there was something else that I wanted to try more. I sat up on my knees and watched her confused expression turn into pure lust as I began nipping lightly at the flesh on her thighs, the very thighs that I had been dreaming about nuzzling in between since I saw her that night in the bar in those shorts that left fucking little to the imagination.

I sucked first on the left thigh, my nose pressed right in between the junction of her leg and her pussy, which was now so wet I could see through her shorts completely. She was whimpering and bucking her hips against the air needing to feel friction. I knew I was being a bastard by teasing her like this, but it was too good to stop. I kissed my way up and over, ghosting my nose across the moisture, back and forth and sucking lightly at her through the shorts causing Bella to push up into my face. I couldn't wait any longer. I slid the shorts down her smooth legs and tossed them over my shoulder. Bella propped herself up on her elbows, leaning back to get a better view. I slowly licked the entire length of her slit causing her to tremble and immediately fist her fingers in my hair, shoving my face down further. Fuck that was hot. I pushed her legs apart as wide as I could and spread her open to get better access, taking my time licking and sucking, reveling in her sweetness and thoroughly enjoying the sounds coming from her. I pressed my hands against her thighs and pried her legs open further, flat against the bed. Apparently she was flexible which was definitely going to come in handy in the future.

"You taste so fucking amazing Bella," I said, locking eyes with her.

"Mmm, God Edward. That feels so good. Don't stop," she moaned out. I watched as her hands released my hair and slowly traveled up to her breasts. She began massaging them and pulling at her nipples, her moans growing louder. She was shamelessly thrusting herself up and into my face while I tongue fucked her, her body becoming more rigid, I knew she was close. The sight of her fondling herself did a number on my already extremely hard dick and I could feel the pre-cum leaking through my boxers. I plunged three fingers into her quick and hard, causing her to cry out and began circling her clit with my tongue, pumping in and out of her. Her juices were running down my chin and I knew that if I could I would spend the rest of my life with my face in between Bella's legs. I continued working her at a furious pace, the muscles in my arm beginning to burn, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Watching her like this, her skin sticky and shimmering with sweat, her dark hair fanned out over her head, pieces of it sticking to her neck. Her legs began to tremble and I pushed back against her thighs as they involuntarily tried to clamp down around my head.

"Edward, oh God. Oh my God. Ohhhhh," she cried out, her walls clenching down around my fingers. I continued circling her clit, slower this time as she came down from her orgasm. She was still making soft little moans and whimpers, rocking into my mouth and struggling to control her breathing while I drank up every single drop of her. I slowly pulled out of her and before even having time to think about what I was doing I put each finger in my mouth, licking them clean and savoring her taste while she watched me wide-eyed, breathing erratically.

"That's so sexy," she mumbled as she collapsed back against her pillows. I crawled slowly up the bed to lay next to her, pulling the covers up over her as I went. She turned on her side towards me, gently fingering my hair and massaging my scalp.

"That was incredible," she breathed out, pulling me to her for a long, deep kiss. I hadn't intended on her returning the favor, I wanted to prove to her how badly I wanted her and that I wasn't trying to just get some all the time, but my now raging hard-on had other plans. She gripped my neck and kissed me again, slow and sensuous, her hands slowly making their way down to the holy land.

"Bella! Are you gonna sleep all day? Get your ass up!"

"You have to be fucking kidding me," I said in spite of myself. Alice fucking Brandon was cock-blocking me. I could hear her steps coming closer, while Bella scrambled to get her shorts and I buried myself under the covers.

"Bella come on! We're going shopping!" she said, busting into the bedroom just as Bella pulled her shorts up and posed casually on the end of her bed.

"Oh, hey Edward! I didn't know you were here. So anyway Bella I have to go into town today and I need a shopping partner so get your butt dressed. We're wasting daylight!" She crossed the room and perched herself next to Bella. This girl was absolutely oblivious.

"Okay Alice, give me a second," Bella said through her teeth, trying to hint for Alice to get the hell out.

"Okay, _one_ second Bella, but if you're not up and in the shower, I'm coming back!"

Bella waited until Alice was gone and threw herself back onto the bed, breaking out into a fit of giggles.

"God, I felt like a teenager getting busted by my parents," she laughed. "So I guess I'm going out with Alice," she said crawling back up next to me. "Sorry." But no one was more sorry than me at that moment. We laid there for a few minutes longer and I was waiting for Alice to bust back in again and scare the shit out of us. I contemplated on ways of getting Bella all to myself as I looked around her bedroom, my eyes settling on a large, green box in the corner.

"Hey, what's that?" I asked, pointing.

"Oh, it's like a memory box. Mostly pictures and some ticket stubs, things like that. Just stuff that I want to save."

"Can I see it?"

"Maybe some other time? I'm pretty sure Alice is standing outside the door waiting for me," she chuckled and I agreed. She climbed out of bed and I pulled on my jeans and shirt, while she wrapped herself up in a robe. She walked me to the door, passing Emmett on Alice's couch eating cereal out of a Tupperware bowl. He grinned and waved, spoon in hand, milk dripping down his chin.

Awkward.

"Are you ready to go Em? I think the girls are kicking us out."

"You mean I have to take you home?" he whined.

"You're the one who made me come with you last night, so that's usually the way it works."

"Yeah, yeah. Your ass should be thanking me," he said, shooting a look in Bella's direction. I nodded in agreement and followed Bella outside in order to get more privacy and pulled her to me, gently kissing the cut on the corner of her mouth.

"So Miss Swan, any plans for this evening?"

"Maybe. I'll have to check my book," she smirked, pulling away to head back inside. I caught her by the wrist and spun her back into me.

"Then you'll come to my place around 7?" Please God let her say yes.

"Okay, I think I might be able to manage that. What's the occasion?"

"I am cooking you dinner."

She smiled and shook her head, biting her lip.

"What?"

"You're too perfect," she said sincerely, blushing at her own words.

"There is nothing more perfect than you Bella," I replied, kissing her again.

"Well where is she?" We could hear Alice grilling Emmett from inside, shaking our heads and sharing another quick kiss goodbye. I watched her walk back inside, Alice lecturing her that they were missing all the good sales. I gave Emmett a few minutes to tell Alice goodbye and we were on our way. I got home, showered and dressed and headed to the grocery store. I had no fucking clue what I was going to cook for Bella tonight, but I knew it had to be perfect. I had to show her how important and special she was and make this a night that she would always remember.

**It's nice to see things going so well for E&B, right? B's POV next chpt. for the dinner date and perhaps some more lemons. Reviews are better than Edward doing naughty things...p.s. sorry you probably got 35 e-mails telling you I updated but I've been having all sorts of trouble with FF tonight...**


	8. Black Holes And Revelations

**First of all I want to say how truly flattered I am by all of the comments and I am genuinely surprised every time I open my e-mail and see someone else has favorited my story. You guys are amazing! Seeing as how this is my first ever story I am still in shock that anyone reads it at all! Anyway, this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but I felt like I wrote what needed to be written and I don't feel as though it's lacking, so hopefully you won't either. I threw in a little smut for you towards the end because I know that's the only reason you guys read anyway ;D. A huge thanks to all of my Twitter followers who pimp me and my story out and a special thanks to Aimleslydreamin. She's such a doll and has a wonderful Fanfic of her own called "Blue". Go check it out. For some reason I can't put links on here so follow her on Twitter at Aimleslydreamin and there's a link to her FF page. And a special shout-out to NoOneLovesLacie for getting me hooked on Fanfic in the first place! I do not own Twilight or the characters. If I did I'd probably being hanging out with KStew right now…**

_This is wrong_

_I should be gone_

_But here I lay 'cause I can't stay away_

_Roses bloom in your dirty room_

_I come to play 'cause I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

_I'm conflicted_

_I inhale now I'm addicted_

_To this place, to you babe_

_I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

_We get up_

_We go down_

_Then we go one more round_

_It's wrong they say_

_I can't stay, I can't stay away_

_I can't stay, I can't stay away_

_I Can't Stay Away-The Veronicas_

****

~BELLA~

"Soooo?"

"So?"

"Ugh, Bella don't play dumb! What happened with Edward? Obviously you two made up," Alice paused and then smirked at me. "Unless you always have sex with guys you're fighting with?"

"What makes you think we had sex?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"Oh please Bella," she rolled her eyes at me. "The walls in our apartment aren't made of lead, ya know. You're just lucky Emmett was still sleeping."

My face grew hot and I knew I was probably as red as a tomato.

"We didn't have sex. We were just messing around! Was I really that loud?"

"If he gave you an orgasm it's sex and yes you were."

"Do we really have to go shopping today?" I whined. Alice needed a new hobby or I was going to wind up going bankrupt.

"Yes, we really do and don't try to change the subject! What happened?"

I should have known better than to think Alice would give up on something without getting her way first, so I replayed every single detail of last night to her starting with my conversation with Edward in the bathroom. I kept trying to pretend like this morning didn't happen, but could see she wasn't going to let up on that either. I had never met anyone so freakin' interested in my sex life. She then went on to lecture me about how "a lady never fights", but was quick to add in that she had never been more proud than she was to see me beat Tanya's ass like that. I tried not to smile and pretend like I was truly concerned about my reputation in this flyspeck town, but I couldn't muster up the strength to care. I couldn't wait until Rose heard about this. She didn't know anything about Alice or Edward or anything else that had been going on in my life and I had no clue what was happening in hers. I felt a small pang in my stomach thinking about Rosalie. I missed her so much. We had never gone for more than a day without talking, but now that I was gone we hardly spoke anymore. After Emmett had left for college, we grew even closer. She had always been in love with him when they dated in high school, but never found the courage to tell him. Somehow I think she missed Emmett more than I did when he left. All through school we had secretly planned their wedding, excited for the day when we would become "sisters", but Emmett had always wanted to come to Washington and Rose's life was back in Florida. I still wondered to this day what would have happened between them if he had just stayed put. But now he was with Alice and I loved her, I truly did, but something wasn't right with them. He claimed that he loved her, but I didn't see how that could be possible, especially when they couldn't even be intimate because of what ever problems she was going through. I had promised Emmett I would try and talk to her about whatever was going on, so maybe now was as good a time as any.

She flopped down on my bed as I pulled on my jeans and I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to do.

"Hey Alice? Can I talk to you about something?" She looked up at me expectantly. I didn't know why I was so nervous, but had a feeling this wasn't going to turn out so well.

"Well, um, I was talking to Emmett the other day about the two of you actually," I said hesitantly.

"Oh, what about?"

"Well, uh he said that everything's going really well between the two of you, but he's kind of worried about you," I said quietly, carefully watching her expression.

"Why would he be worried about me?" she said nonchalantly.

"He said that a lot of the times when you two stay together over night, after you fall asleep you have some like night terrors or something?" I said slowly. "I'm not trying to pry Alice, I swear. He just wanted to see if maybe you'd be willing to tell me what's going on, you know, girl to girl. He's afraid he did something wrong, especially since you won't really let him touch you…" I trailed off, feeling extremely nervous and uncomfortable interrogating Alice this way. She quickly jumped up off of the bed.

"I don't want to talk about this Bella," she said turning to leave my room.

"Alice, wait. I'm sorry. I just want to help you. I'm your friend and I don't like to see you hurting." It was true. Alice had become almost like a sister to me and knowing that she cared for my brother made her even more important.

"Help me? You can help me by minding your own business," she snapped, continuing into her apartment.

"Minding my own business?" I said incredulously. "What the hell Alice? You demand I tell you every single detail of my life, but when I want to know something about yours I'm not allowed? I thought we were friends."

"Then maybe we shouldn't be," she said storming out the front door.

What the hell had just happened? How had this turned into a fight? And why was she so defensive? Great. Just great.

"At least I don't have to go shopping," I muttered bitterly to myself.

My day drug on painfully slow and all I could think of was facing Jessica tomorrow at work. That should be good times. I spent most of the day cleaning up around my apartment which took up a good chunk of time thankfully and after watching some television, I found my mind wandering back to what had happened with Alice. I decided I needed to start getting ready to go to Edward's apartment. Now that we were, whatever we were, I wanted to make sure I looked as perfect as possible and that was going to take some time and work. Butterflies immediately assaulted my stomach at the thought of being alone with him again. I still couldn't figure out why someone as magnificent as him would want someone like me. Well, maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Just because he said he wanted me last night doesn't mean he's ready to be in any sort of committed relationship. He never said he wanted me to be his girlfriend or whatever and I knew that he could have any woman he wanted, so why me? Boy, I sure know how to kill a good mood.

I finished showering, after shaving all the important areas twice, until I was satisfied with the smoothness of my skin. I hopped out and pulled a towel around my torso and dried my hair with the blow-dryer until it was perfectly straight and smooth. Now I was going to have to figure out something to wear. Was I supposed to dress up? Would I look silly if I showed up to his apartment in a dress and heels? If I showed up in jeans, would it seem like I didn't care? I huffed out loud while I stood staring at my closet, wishing the perfect outfit would just jump out at me. I finally settled on a pair of tight, dark-wash jeans that still had the tag on them and a deep, green tank top that I had originally picked out because it reminded me of the color of Edward's eyes. It was simple cotton and plain from the front, but the back was entirely made of lace and was completely open, exposing my whole back. It was absolutely gorgeous and something I would never normally wear, especially since I couldn't wear a bra with it, which is why Alice practically forced me to buy it saying it looked amazing on me and if I didn't buy it she would and stick it in my closet when I wasn't looking.

I dug around in my drawer until I found a pair of my new Victoria's Secret undies; a deep, rose color and entirely made of satin, slid them on and tugged my jeans up over my hips. I ripped the tag off the side because I was too lazy to find a pair of scissors to cut it off and pulled the tank on feeling an odd combination of vulnerable and extremely sexy from the lack of bra . I found my mind wandering back to this morning and being with Edward. The way his hands felt on my body caused me such pleasure it was almost painful. The heat and electricity that passed through his skin onto mine was nothing I had ever experienced before and just the mere thought of his mouth on mine, on my collarbone, my breasts, my stomach, the heat between my thighs…I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, realizing I had myself so worked up I was practically panting and my underwear had become damp. I shuffled across my room to turn on my ipod and hoped the music would distract my thoughts and calm my nerves while I finished getting ready. I almost felt like I knew what I was doing when I applied my makeup, having watched Alice do it several times now, it wasn't as hard for me as it used to be. I was finishing up with my mascara when I heard my cell go off. I darted across the room to turn down the music and snatched my phone off the dresser, seeing Emmett's name flash across the tiny screen.

"Hey broseph, what's up?" I asked breathlessly, flopping down on my bed.

"Hey Bells. Can I talk to Alice?" He asked, his voice low and panicked.

"Um she's not with me. I figured she was with you. Did you try her cell?"

"Of course I tried her cell! I've been calling her all damn day, but she won't answer!" He yelled into the phone.

Suddenly I felt an extreme sense of guilt wash over me, forming a pit in my stomach. It was probably my fault Alice wasn't talking to Emmett. I had told her that he had been talking about her to me and I should've realized how that would sound.

"Uh, Em? Listen I don't know where Alice is, but after you and Edward left this morning her and I were talking and I mentioned to her how you had been worried about her having the night terrors and I tried talking to her, but she just got pissed off and stormed out. She's been gone all day," I was practically whispering now. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried."

"No, no, this isn't your fault. I asked you to talk to her for me. _I'm_ sorry that I caused the two of you to get into a fight."

"It's not your fault Emmett. Just give her some more time to cool off. I'm sure she's okay and will call you soon."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks Izzy. Talk to you later."

He sounded so small and depressed when we hung up. I hadn't heard him sound like that since he found out Rosalie had a boyfriend after he left. I laid on my bed for a few moments longer, trying to sort out the whole mess in my head when I heard the front door slam and figured Alice must have finally made it back home. What was I supposed to do? Even though I knew I hadn't technically done anything wrong, I still felt guilty for being nosey. Should I go out there and ignore her? Wait for her to talk to me first? Should I apologize profusely? I put on my sandals, grabbed my phone and purse and headed down the hall into Alice's apartment. I could hear her voice floating down the hall and I realized she must have been talking on her phone. I want's trying to eves drop, but I couldn't not hear her.

"…just something that will help me sleep. The dreams have started again."

So she _was _admitting to the dreams.

"…because I don't have health insurance. Please? I swear I'm not back on drugs. I'm only going to take them at night, like the doctor would give me."

Holy shit. Alice did drugs? What the hell was going on?

"…I'll meet you later tonight. Bye."

I heard her shut the door to her bathroom and quickly made my exit. I knew there was no way I could face her right now with this new information. To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. My mind was racing. I wondered if Emmett knew about this? There was no way he could know something like that and wouldn't mention it to me. Should I tell him? It wasn't really my place, but I knew this was important. I guess I shouldn't really be that shocked. I mean I knew next to nothing about Alice's past, but she just didn't come across as the type who'd do drugs. I hurried out the front door to my truck, not wanting to be late for my date with Edward.

I tried to calm down on the way there. I knew Edward wanted to give me a romantic dinner and I didn't want my mind to be elsewhere, not giving him the attention that he deserved. I reached the door to his apartment and my heart leapt into my throat. I took a deep breath and smoothed down my hair before knocking.

"Hello beautiful," Edward's smooth, velvet voice greeted me as he opened the door.

I was glad I had decided on not wearing a dress. He was wearing jeans like me and a light, blue t-shirt that looked amazing against his rust colored hair.

"You look stunning Bella. Green is a good color on you."

I, of course, blushed and ducked my head as he grabbed my hand and gently kissed the back before pulling me inside and I gasped at what I saw. His whole apartment was entirely lit by candles and there was soft music playing in the background. There were candles lining the top of the piano, across the end tables in his living room and down the length of the counter of his breakfast bar. I spun around to face him.

"Edward, this is gorgeous," I said, feeling like that didn't accurately describe what he had done.

"It isn't too much?" he said softly, seemingly embarrassed.

I slid my arms around his waist and pulled him to me, placing my head on his chest.

"No, it's perfect. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. And what are you cooking? It smells incredible!"

He chuckled and led me to the other side of his living room through his sliding glass doors and out onto a little garden patio. "I made grilled salmon with a side of asparagus in pesto sauce and caramelized pineapples." He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like he hadn't just cooked me a meal that belonged in a four star restaurant. He had decorated the outside with more candles surrounding the edge of the patio and set up a table with a white, linen tablecloth. There were two candles lit in the center, two wine glasses and two expensive looking plates filled with food. He pulled my chair out, placing a soft kiss on my neck causing me to let out an embarrassing moan. He picked up a bottle of Pinot Grigio that had been chilling in the middle of the table and poured some into my glass before sitting on the opposite side and pouring some for himself.

"Trying to get me drunk Mr. Masen?" I smirked at him.

"Maybe," he laughed. "You're a lot of fun when you're drunk," he said lowering his voice, making my mind wander back to the last time I had been in his apartment. I crossed my legs against the arousal that was slowly building and took a sip of the wine before starting in on my dinner. I took a bite of the salmon and it practically melted in my mouth. I tried to suppress the yummy noises I was making with each bite, but I had never tasted anything so delicious.

"You seriously made this Edward?"

"Yes?" He eyed me questioningly.

"I just-where did you learn to cook like this?"

"We had a personal chef growing up. It was always interesting to me, so I spent a lot of time in the kitchen watching." He shrugged as if it were common for everyone to have someone personally cook their meals for them.

"Personal chef? Did you guys have a butler too?"

"No, but we did have a maid," he said, grinning up at me.

"Wow. So your family's like rich, huh?"

"We were always comfortable growing up. I never really went without." He was being modest now.

"What do your parents do?"

"My father is a neurologist, best one in Seattle. And my mother owns her own law firm, but the Huxtables we are not."

"Seattle. Is that where you grew up?"

"Yep. I lived there my whole life."

"When did you move to Forks?"

"A few months after I graduated high school. I needed a fresh start." I could see the pain reflected in his eyes as he spoke of his past.

"Did that have anything to do with why your family doesn't talk to you?"

"Yes. It's part of it. Bella, I can't-"

"Hey, it's okay," I cut him off. "I told you we don't have to talk about anything unless you're ready." I finished off the rest of my food and second glass of wine and I could feel Edward's eyes on me, burning into my skin. "What?" I looked up at him suddenly feeling extremely self conscience and bashful.

"Nothing, I just-I've never met someone so patient and understanding; compassionate." He shook his head, still observing me.

"Edward, I know what it's like to carry something around with you that you can never forget, no matter how hard you try. Something you hope you never have to talk about again for the rest of your life." I could feel my throat tighten and the tears threatening behind my eyes. I cleared my throat, not wanting to get emotional right now and ruin our time together. I leaned back in my seat, admiring the scenery. The moon was full and every single star in the sky was out and shining bright. It was completely secluded, surrounded by trees and brightly colored flowers and a little stone path that led to a small clearing in the woods.

"It really is gorgeous out here."

"It is nice, isn't it? And it's all mine. Well, at least for now. There are no other tenants that live on the bottom floor in my building and it's pretty hard to get through all of the trees from the outside. There's really no way to get out here except through the bottom apartments so I never have to share it. I come out here to think a lot…" He said trailing off, lost in thought.

"Wow. I wish I had a place like this to come and just sit; watch the stars or lay in the sun…"

"I've got an idea. Stay put." Edward jumped up from his seat, blowing out the candles as he walked back into his apartment. I watched him disappear down his hall, continuing to blow out candles as he went and reappeared with a huge, brown blanket.

"Can you grab that?" he said, gesturing toward the wine with his head and grabbed my hand. I picked up the wine and followed him across the garden until we reached the stone path and made our way into the clearing in the trees. He spread out the blanket and pulled me down on the ground with him so we were laying on our backs towards the sky. Surprisingly, the forest wasn't that dense towards the top and we could make out the stars through the trees.

"This is absolutely perfect," I breathed. I was in complete awe of this entire night; of everything that Edward had done for me. He turned on his side, leaning on his elbow and propped his head up with one hand and I mirrored his action.

"I want to know more about you Bella," he said giving me that crooked grin that stopped all normal thought process.

"I thought we covered all of that at Mike's party," I laughed, remembering how he had asked me questions relentlessly for two hours.

"That was only the surface. I want to know more."

"I want to know you too," I said softly, blushing at my words.

We laid there for what felt like hours, taking each other in and learning about the other's past. While Edward was very careful when talking about his parents and brother, I did get more of an insight as to who he was. We swapped childhood stories and embarrassing moments causing us to laugh until we had tears in our eyes. We told of first kisses, first crushes and our first time which made us both cringe at the awkwardness of it all. As the night wore on and the shared moments continued, my heart swelled for Edward a little more with each passing second. It was chilly now out here in the dark and I shivered, goose-bumps covering my arms.

"Are you cold? Do you want to go inside?" I noticed him trying hard not to stare at my nipples poking against the fabric of my tank top and I chuckled to myself.

"Yeah. I love it out here, but I'm freezing."

He stood up and reached out his hand pulling me up from the ground and into his chest, surprising me by gripping the back of my neck and pulling me into a slow, sensual kiss. I had been waiting all day to feel his lips against mine again, bringing with them the passion that burned through my entire body, igniting me from within.

"That's a really great shirt by the way," he whispered low and seductive in my ear.

I stood there dazed and breathless while Edward collected the blanket and the now empty wine bottle, steering me out of the woods and back into his apartment. We stood in his living room in complete darkness and I felt a little thrill go through me at the thought of finally having Edward completely alone without having to worry about Alice or Emmett bursting in at any second. He continued to hold my hand and we stood there silently, staring at each other in the moonlight shining through the balcony doors.

"Bella, do you have any idea how perfect you are?" he said, softly brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"I know how perfect you are," I replied, watching the light make his emerald eyes sparkle. He shook his head at my response and drew me closer to him, leaving no space between our bodies. He smelled incredible. Like sandalwood and the beach and things that I couldn't even describe. He brushed his lips across mine and whispered how gorgeous I was against my mouth, before sealing us together with soft, heated kisses. His hands were pressed firmly against my hips keeping me against him. As if I would even try to break away. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to give me better access to his mouth. He tasted like pineapples and wine and I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth causing him to groan. I was dizzy, drunk on Edward. I couldn't get enough oxygen, but I couldn't bear to break away from him either.

He broke away first, leaving us both gasping wildly for air as he trailed hot, wet kisses down the length of my neck and I couldn't stop the moans that were escaping me. I could feel his erection straining hard against his pants, pushing right into my center and I hitched a leg around his hip grinding into him slow and hard. He slowly slid both hands up the back of my shirt, caressing my back and ghosting his fingers around my ribs before cupping both of my breasts, squeezing them gently and massaging.

"Don't ever wear a bra again Isabella," he said before biting down gently on my collar bone making me buck against him harder.

"God I love it when you call me that," I moaned out, reluctantly removing my hands from him to pull my tank over my head and toss it to the floor.

"I thought you preferred Bella?"

"Normally I do," I said breathlessly, "But hearing it from you is just-is just- God I don't know. It's erotic somehow. You don't know what it does to me."

"Tell me," he breathed in my ear. "Tell me what I do to you."

I whimpered and moaned and had no idea where to begin. The things he made me feel were beyond words. The pleasure he brought me from simply his mouth or hands or fingers was indescribable. He picked me up then, his hands fitting so perfectly around my waist, and I locked my legs around his hips and then we were moving across the room. He pinned me between him and the wall, gathering both of my wrists in one hand and holding them above my head.

"Tell me Isabella," he urged again. "I know you can feel what you do to me, now tell me that you feel the same. Tell me that you want me just as much as I want you."

"God, you have no idea."

He hummed in approval, slowly circling one of my nipples with his tongue. I fought against his hand until my wrists were free. I needed to touch him, feel his skin. I released him from in between my legs and stood in front of him tugging at the hem of his shirt until he caught the hint and lifted it off and over his head. I pressed myself against him, loving the way the hardness of his chest felt against the softness of my breasts. We stood there in silence, eyes locked, contemplating our next move. I still couldn't comprehend that this man in front of me was real. I wanted him so badly in every sense of the word that it made my heart ache, but I had no idea how he felt about me. I knew he enjoyed spending time with me and doing things for me and it was clear that he wanted to have sex with me, but what if that was all we would ever have?

We hadn't discussed what we were or what was happening between us and even though my heart was screaming at me, telling me he wanted me, that he had proven it to me so many times, my head couldn't get around the fact that he hadn't actually said it. With Jacob I had been so positive that he loved me, that he was in love with me because we had been friends our entire life, so sleeping with him had seemed like the natural thing to do. But thinking about it now, knowing that he had only told me he loved me maybe three times our entire relationship, even after I had given myself to him time and time again, was something I couldn't put myself through again. If I had known how Jacob felt about me before-hand our entire relationship would have been different. Hell, there probably wouldn't even have been a relationship. My head was swimming and I felt sick. I couldn't do this with Edward until I knew. I couldn't put myself through that again. I couldn't do that to Edward. If he was looking for something casual my heart wouldn't be able to take it. What did this all mean? Was I-was I actually admitting to myself that I was in love with Edward? Everything within me screamed back yes and I slumped to the floor.

"Bella are you alright? You look sick. What's the matter?" Edward's voice broke through the fog of my confusion, snapping me back into reality.

"Yeah, yeah I just-I'm not really feeling too well. I think the wine got to me." I mumbled, feeling absolutely ridiculous. He picked his t-shirt up off the floor and slid it on over my head, pulling my arms through the holes.

"Come on. Why don't we lie down for awhile?" He led me into his bedroom and coaxed me into lying down. "I'm going to get you some water. Stay there."

I laid there, looking around Edward's bedroom, realizing I hadn't really seen it. The last time I was in here I was drunk and completely focused on Edward. It was nice. Extremely nice and immaculate. His bed was huge, possibly bigger than mine, which I didn't think was even possible. He had a black iron frame with intricate detail and two matching nightstands on opposite sides of the bed. The floor was a dark, mahogany wood covered with a plush cream colored throw rug. He had a shelf that took up the entire length of one wall, from ceiling to floor and was filled with books and music that put my collection to shame. He had CDs, cassettes, even vinyl and an expensive looking stereo system attached to speakers set up around the room.

My mind drifted back to my previous realization and then I truly did feel sick. I loved Edward. I was in love with Edward Masen. How? When did this happen? If I were to be honest with myself I knew it was the moment I first laid eyes on him, but I also knew that that made me sound like I was out of my damn mind. Was I insane? Was I actually not going to have sex with this man until I knew his feelings for me? Sadly, I knew my reply was yes. He was too important and I knew that if I gave myself to him in that way, all of me, leaving nothing left for myself…I couldn't do that again. It hurt bad enough thinking about that with Jacob and my feelings for him hadn't even been half as strong as they are for Edward. I had only _thought_ I loved Jake. Now that I knew how strong love really was…

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward coming back into the room and sitting on the bed next to me. He handed me a bottle of water and a couple of Tylenol and softly stroked my hair as I downed them.

"Will you stay with me Bella?" He asked quietly. And as much as I wanted to tell him forever, I figured that it was probably too sudden. Especially since I had just figured that out myself. I wanted so badly to ask him how he felt or what he wanted or where he thought this was going, but I didn't want to push things. If this was what I had with Edward right now then I'd take it. I nodded my response to him and could tell by the expression on his face that he was thrilled to have me stay, but also a little hurt that I had basically cock-blocked him. Edward reached across me to turn off the light and I settled comfortably down into his bed with my head on his chest and my hand resting over his heart. I could hear it and feel it thudding just as hard as mine, letting the sound soothe me to sleep and making me wonder if it was calling out to me the way mine called out for him.

~000~

I woke up the next morning in a panic, realizing I had forgotten I had to go into work, but sighing in relief when I looked at the clock and saw I still had 3 hours. I was in desperate need of the bathroom thanks to all the wine from the night before and I was now pinned underneath Edward which wasn't helping my situation. Somehow throughout the night he had managed to position himself on his stomach, squishing me against the bed with his left arm and leg thrown across my body. I turned my head slightly to get a better look at him and was still taken aback every time I saw his beautiful face. Saying a man was beautiful seemed so odd to me, but there really was no other way to describe him. His hair was a mess as always and a few stray pieces had fallen against his forehead. My hand reached up of it's own will to brush them aside and his dark, pink lips stuck out in a slight pout. God, I love him. Now that I had finally admitted it to myself it was the only thing I could think about. My heart clenched just looking at him and I felt such a mix of emotions. The way I felt about him was terrifying and confusing, but it was real and pure and something I had never known my whole life and hurt to know that he might not feel the same. After all, it hadn't even been two months yet. What could I expect? I slowly slid out from under him, careful not to wake him and snuck off to use the bathroom. I combed my hair and splashed some water on my face then padded off into his kitchen to find something to write him a note on. I wanted to tell him I had to go to work, but didn't want to wake him, especially after all that had happened last night. He'd probably want to talk and I wasn't ready for that. I grabbed my bag, slipped on my shoes and found a notepad and pen.

_Edward,_

_Last night was truly incredible. You have no idea how much it all meant to me. Sorry I had to leave, but I forgot I have work today. Talk to you soon._

_B_

I stopped myself from apologizing and telling him I was madly in love with him and headed off to my apartment. I made it home and rushed inside so I'd have time to shower and possibly get breakfast before work, but as soon as I made it into the apartment I stopped dead in my tracks. There was Alice sitting on the floor in front of her couch, used tissues crumpled up all around her. She was holding her knees to her chest and sobbing quietly. It didn't matter what she had said or that we had fought. Something was very wrong and Alice needed me. I hurried across the room and sat down next to her.

"Alice what is it? What's wrong?" I asked quietly. Seeing her up close she looked awful. She had dark circles under her eyes and they were rimmed red from crying. Her cheeks were smudged with mascara and her eyelids were swollen and puffy. I fished my cell out of my purse and called Angela.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice rasped on the other side.

"Hey Ang. It's Bella. I'm so sorry to call you this early and on your day off, but I need to ask you a really huge favor."

"What's wrong Bella?" I hesitated. I didn't want to lie, but I felt like I needed to stay here with Alice. If I told Angela my roommate was crying and I needed her to work for me that probably wouldn't go over very well.

"Um, I'm sort of having an emergency and I can't make it in to work today. Is there anyway at all you'd be able to cover for me?"

"Of course sweetie. Were you supposed to open?"

"Yeah," I said feeling terrible about making her work on her day off.

"Okay no problem. Call me later so I know everything's okay."

"Yes. Definitely. Thank you so much Angela. I owe you!"

"Talk to you later Bella."

"You didn't have to do that," a small voice said from beside me.

"Alice something's wrong and I'm not about to leave you here by yourself. What happened? Please talk to me."

"Oh, Bella I'm so sorry for how I treated you yesterday. I didn't mean it. It's just these dreams-these nightmares I-I…" she started sobbing again. I put my arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

"The nightmares, that's what has you so upset?"

She nodded against my shoulder and took in a stuttering breath. "I never went to sleep last night. I'm terrified. I don't want to go to sleep anymore. I don't want this to keep happening."

"I don't know what to say Alice. I want to help, but I don't know what I can do. Have you tried talking to someone about them?"

"Of course! Do you know how long I've been in therapy Bella? 3 years! I can't afford it anymore. I don't have health insurance and I can't pay out of pocket."

"3 years. Is that when the dreams started?"

"Yeah, that's when the dreams started. That's when it happened, when my whole life fell apart," she said in a strangled whisper, more tears streaming down her cheeks.

"When what happened, Alice?" I whispered back. We sat in silence for a few moments while I rubbed small circles in her back. Then she sat up and took a deep breath, grabbing my hand and squeezing.

"Bella?"

"Yes Alice?"

"Bella, I was-I was r-raped."

**Okay, I know it got pretty serious towards the end there. Don't bitch-slap Bella yet. Remember, she doesn't get to hear Edward's thoughts like we do and she's just trying to protect herself. Alice will be okay eventually. E's POV next chapter. Reviews are better than watching the stars with Edward. p.s. My story has been read in 12 different countries! I cannot believe it! Thank you, thank you, thank you. That's so amazing! Okay, I'll stop using exclamation points now…**


	9. I Belong To You

**Yep, it's another update! Finally getting a laptop has made writing this much easier so I'm hoping I'll be able to stick with this and not be so sucktastic at updating like I was before. Lots of you were pissed at Bella because of how she acted in the last chapter, but things will be much better between E&B in this one. There's a small amount of smut of course, but did you really expect anything less? Again THANK YOU so much for the reviews. I am thrilled to hear what you guys think. And to everyone that has favorited my story…it kills me that you guys are so interested in what I have to say. I love you! I own a sweet new laptop, the first season of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD and close to a thousand songs on my iPod…Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Also, a quick shout-out to my readers across the world. Hello to everyone from Canada, the UK, Australia, India, France and Brazil. Finding out that my little story has spread that far brings me unbelievable happiness! **

_There's something in your eyes_

_Is everything alright?_

_You look up to the sky_

_You long for something more darling_

_Give me your right hand_

_I think I understand_

_Follow me and you will never have to wish again_

_I know that after tonight you don't have to look up at the stars no, no, no, no_

_I know by the end of tonight you don't have to look up at the stars_

_And I know if the love is alright you don't have to look up at the stars no, no, no, no_

_I know by the end of tonight you don't have to look up at the stars_

_After Tonight-Justin Nozuka_

**~EDWARD~**

I rolled over and slammed down the 'Off' button on my alarm clock, hoping it hadn't disturbed Bella too much. I turned over on my opposite side to see if she was awake yet, and realized I had way too much room in my bed. I sat up and rubbed my hand over my face. It was only 8:30, why was Bella up already? Figuring she must have needed to use the bathroom, I padded out of my bedroom, only to see her shirt and shoes were gone from where they had been discarded the night before.

"Bella?" I called out, feeling foolish since I knew I was talking to myself. Where could she have gone? Why would she leave so early in the morning? I headed towards the kitchen to make some coffee when I saw the white piece of paper sitting on my breakfast bar.

_Edward,_

_Last night was truly incredible. You have no idea how much it all meant to me. Sorry I had to leave, but I forgot I have work today. Talk to you soon._

_B_

I breathed a little easier knowing that she had left to go to work, but still didn't understand why she wouldn't have just woken me up to say goodbye. In fact, there was a lot I didn't understand right now. Everything had gone so well last night, better than I could have expected, but something was wrong and I couldn't figure it out. Images of Bella topless and pushed against my wall, writhing against me flashed through my mind, followed by her slumping to the floor. She had looked so pale and as if she was going to cry. I didn't understand it. One minute things had been going so well and the next she looked as though she was going to throw up. Maybe she did have too much wine, but I had seen her drink before and she never looked like that. Plus, things had noticeably just changed, the air between us was different after that and then she left this morning without saying goodbye. Something was wrong. Had I fucked things up again? Was I pushing her too far? I was confused beyond belief. I decided that I wasn't going to beat around the bush. Bella was far too important to me and if chasing her down was what I had to do, then I'd do it. I waited for my coffee to finish brewing, poured some into my favorite blue mug and went back into my bedroom. I grabbed my cell off of the dresser and dialed Bella's number. One ring, two rings, three rings…great, was she going to ignore me again? Relax, Masen. Just because she isn't picking up doesn't mean she's ignoring you. She _is_ at work. Not two minutes later my cell went off and I sighed in relief when I saw Bella had sent me a text message.

_Hey babe sorry I didn't answer._

_My boss is here. Can't talk._

_I'll call when I get off._

Babe? She had just called me babe. One simple word had never looked so good to me. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe everything _was_ fine. She could have actually felt sick last night and knowing Bella she probably didn't say goodbye this morning because she didn't want to wake me up. I shook my head at myself and jumped into the shower.

~000~

So I had been partially right about overreacting. Things were okay with Bella, but okay wasn't really a word I wanted to use to describe spending time with the most incredible woman in the world. Things were somewhat normal between us. We went to the movies and to lunch or dinner and the mornings she opened at work I'd drop her off after one of our heated make-out sessions in my car, but that was about as far as things went. On the rare occasion we had time alone together Bella was always making some sort of excuse for us _not_ to be alone together. She was spending an unusual amount of time with Alice which I didn't really mind because I knew they were friends, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of the constant "girl time." She had no problem kissing me or groping me, but any time I tried to move beyond that she stopped me. She always had what seemed like a legitimate reason, like having her period or a headache, but it still made me wonder what the hell was going on. She had been the one urging me for us to move on together physically, but now she was keeping me at arms length. This went on for a few weeks and even though I didn't want to pressure her into doing something she had clearly changed her mind about doing I had to know what was up. Maybe she had changed her mind about everything, about us. It made me sick to think that she didn't want me anymore or maybe really hadn't ever wanted me in the first place. Maybe she had finally figured out that I wasn't good enough for her and was slowly backing out. But that still didn't make sense. Everything else was great between us. I decided I was going to have to man up and talk to her about what was going on. I wasn't giving her up without a fight. I was in too deep now. I had too many feelings invested in that girl to just simply let her slip through my fingers.

It was the night of the Kings Of Leon concert and I was nervous as hell. I had been planning Bella's birthday surprise for this weekend for weeks now, with the help of Alice and Emmett of course, and now tonight was the big night. Tonight I was going to show her again how much she meant to me, how important and special she truly was. This night was going to determine once and for all exactly where we stood; exactly how she felt about me. I finished getting dressed and was on my way to meet Emmet, Alice and Bella at their apartment. When I pulled up I noticed Emmett and Alice standing outside having a pretty heated discussion that came to an abrupt halt as I made my way into the building, pretending I hadn't noticed. Wonder what that was all about? Maybe he was sick of all the time Alice and Bella had been spending together too. I rolled my eyes at myself for acting like a pouty child. I slowly opened the door to the apartment and didn't see Bella so I continued on into her apartment, stopping outside her bedroom door and taking in the sight before me. There was Bella in the middle of her room with her back to me, all long legs and flowing hair, dancing and singing her ass of to the music coming from her stereo in those fucking "boy shorts" that made me stand at attention.

"Ah push it. Push it good. Ah push it. Push it real good."

I tried my best to hold back my laughter so I could continue enjoying the show. Who knew Bella listened to Salt N Pepa? Who knew that I actually knew the song? She was dancing in front of the mirror which gave me a better view of her swinging her hair and shaking her butt back and forth.

"Ooh baby baby. Baby baby. Ooh baby baby. Baby baby."

Bella continued with her rapping and dancing and all I could think of was how much I wanted her. How much I needed her. How much I _loved_ her. Holy shit! I love her. I was in love with Bella. This was it. I knew it was an odd moment for me to finally figure this out and admit it, but I was in love with her. Tonight I had simply been planning to tell her that I wanted to be with her, wanted her to be my girlfriend, but I realized it was beyond that. It was more than that. I never wanted anything else. I wanted to come home to this every day for the rest of my life. She was perfect. She whirled around and gasped, her hand flying to cover her heart when she saw me leaning in her doorway.

"Edward! What the hell? You scared the shit out of me!" She flushed the bright pink color I loved so much and collapsed backwards onto her bed. "How long have you been standing there?" she mumbled, not making eye contact.

"Mmmm long enough to know you want it pushed real good," I laughed back at her.

She tried to glare at me, but broke out into a fit of giggles.

"So, is that what you're wearing to the concert? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I think you might have a little trouble getting past security," I smirked at her.

"No this is not what I'm wearing. Now get out so I can change," she stood and shoved at my chest, pushing me back towards her door.

"You're kicking me out?" I pouted and stuck out my lower lip.

"Yes I'm kicking you out. Now go! We have to leave soon."

I gave her a quick kiss and shut the door behind me. I settled down on Bella's sofa, alone with my thoughts which once again had me extremely nervous. I had already been practically beside myself today knowing I was giving Bella her birthday present and the whole weekend that had been planned, but now, knowing how I truly felt about her made things even more magnified. I guess part of me had known all along, but I had never actually thought the words. I love Bella. Truthfully I guess they never really needed to be said, my feelings weren't a question. It was a natural thing.

"Hey Edward, could you give me a hand?" I heard Bella call out of her bedroom. I smirked to myself and thought about all of the perverted ways my hands could be of service to her. I entered Bella's room once again, but this time I was pretty certain I stopped breathing. She stood there in front of her mirror in a strapless, satin, blue dress that barely made it mid thigh and black fuck-me heels. Her long hair was pulled over one shoulder leaving a delicious amount of bare skin exposed from her neck down to her cleavage, that I was now debating on whether or not I was going to lick. She had her hands on her hips and was pouting and I walked over to her, placing a kiss on her shoulder and flicked my tongue out slightly causing her to shudder. I couldn't help myself. I needed to taste her.

"Bella, you look absolutely breathtaking," I said cupping her delicate face in my hands and kissing her softly on the lips. "What did you need help with?" I murmured between more kisses.

"Um, I uh, um…" She stuttered and stumbled, not making one coherent sentence. I pulled away from her and she closed her eyes and shook her head. "I need you to reach that purse for me up on the top shelf in the back." She pointed up high towards the right side of her closet. I reached up with ease and handed her the bag. I watched, completely enraptured, as she flitted around her room finishing getting ready and thoroughly appreciated the way her little dress was clinging to every curve of her body. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to keep myself away from her. The need to be with her, to touch her and hold her and bury myself inside of her was quickly consuming my entire being.

"Ready to go?" she asked, smiling up at me and breaking me out of my trance. I followed Bella out of her apartment, trying to restrain myself from just bending down and biting her ass.

"Are you ready?" Bella squealed at Alice as we made it outside.

"Yes! Oh my God, I'm so excited!" Alice said, grabbing Bella's hand while they did some sort of dance. "Do you realize that in a few short hours we will be breathing the very same air as Kings Of Leon!" Alice was practically hyperventilating now as I tugged Bella towards my car.

"Alright you two. We better get going. It's a long drive to Seattle." I pried Alice and Bella apart and escorted her into my car, getting a flash of black lace as she swung her legs around to sit down. God help me.

"Wait, aren't we all driving together?" Bella asked as I backed out of the parking space.

"No Emmett and Alice are going in his Hummer. They're gonna meet us at the restaurant."

"How come?"

"Well you and I have plans after the concert is over."

I could see her eyeing me suspiciously out of the corner of my eye as I continued to drive. "Plans? What kind of plans?" She narrowed her chocolate eyes at me.

"It's a surprise," I replied, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. What if she hated everything? Tonight could turn out horrible and it would be all my fault.

"A surprise? I hate surprises," she whined, but I could see her trying to fight back a smile.

"I have a feeling you'll enjoy this one."

"Oh really? And what makes you so sure about that?" She cocked an eyebrow at me, making me want to pull over on the side of the road and throw myself on her.

"Because I think I have a pretty good idea of what you like. Plus, I had a little help."

She seemed satisfied enough with my answer and leaned back into her seat, visibly relaxing as she grabbed my hand.

~000~

"Oh my God, this is so good," Bella sort of half moaned as she popped another California roll in her mouth. The four of us were now seated in a secluded booth at the new sushi restaurant that had just opened up in Seattle. Thank God Alice was such a planner and thought to call ahead for a reservation, otherwise we probably would've ended up eating at McDonalds and I wanted everything to be perfect for Bella. She threw her chopsticks on the table declaring she was done and leaned back in her seat. I draped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side, aching to have some sort of contact with her. We watched Emmett as he shoved yet another egg roll in his mouth, I had lost count after the fourth and Alice was basically just pushing her food around on her plate. She hadn't eaten a thing all night. We questioned her and offered to share some of ours, but she denied it all claiming she was too excited for the concert to have an appetite. I didn't believe her though. I could tell she was trying hard not to seem too depressed so she didn't bring the rest of us down, but something had been up with her and Emmett all night. We made small talk until the bill came and we all cracked open our fortune cookies. We read our fortunes to each other and laughed at the silly sayings, but I couldn't help but take mine more seriously than I probably should have. It said, "Love but her and love forever," and I quickly tucked it into my pocket before anyone saw. If that wasn't a sign I didn't know what was.

We found a spot in the parking garage and Bella was literally bouncing in her seat from all the excitement and I was secretly praying to who ever was listening that I'd at least get a glimpse of a nipple. What the hell? I was worse than a horny teenage boy. I walked around to the passenger side and grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her out of the car and pressing her against the door. Her eyes were wide with shock as I crushed my lips to hers and grazed her warm, satin-wrapped skin against my finger tips. Our tongues tangled and she pushed her self into me further, eliciting a small moan. There was such passion and force behind that one tiny action I knew she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her, so why did she keep pushing me away? She sighed and placed a hand on my chest, separating us. "Come on. Let's go," she said, tugging me behind her across the garage to meet Alice and Emmett. The girls collided into a fit of screams again, holding hands and running towards the venue. I was holding my breath as I watched Bella run in her sky-high heels waiting for her to break an ankle.

"So what's up with you and Alice?" I questioned Emmett as the girls ran ahead of us.

He glanced at me and shrugged while we crossed the street.

"What the hell does this mean?" I asked, mimicking his action.

"It means I have no freakin' idea. All we've been doing is fighting lately. She won't tell me what's bothering her, but she has no problem being shoved up my sister's ass."

"You noticed that too, huh?"

"Noticed it? They spend every waking second together and half the time they're whispering about some shit while they eye me up from across the room. It's really starting to get on my nerves. I just want Alice to talk to me." He cracked his knuckles while we hurried down the sidewalk. I was getting nervous having Bella out of my sight dressed the way she was in the middle of Seattle at night. We rounded the corner and I let out a huge gust of air I hadn't even realized I'd been holding when the girls were back in my vision. We all pulled out our tickets before heading inside and I slid an arm around Bella's waist, making sure all of the other fuckers eyeing her up knew she was mine. We walked the venue until we found our seats and realized somehow we had lucked out enough to get floor seats somewhere towards the center. Emmett saved our seats and Alice, Bella and I headed back out to get souvenirs and drinks. I watched them practically skip and talk excitedly while a huge knot twisted my insides. Bella was so absolutely incredible, so perfect that my breath caught in my throat. Tonight I was putting it all out there, laying all my cards on the table, confessing to Bella how I truly felt about her and there was a chance that she might not feel the same. After tonight, things could change drastically. Bella might not want what I want, she might not feel the same insatiable need I felt to constantly be next to her and touch her and wake up with her every morning. I fought to regain my composure. Not two months ago I had no idea that Bella Swan even existed and now I couldn't remember how to live without her.

She and Alice picked out matching band t-shirts that would have probably been too big for Emmett, but they were the only sizes they had left and the girls were adamant that those were the ones they were buying. After fighting her for a good five minutes, Bella finally caved and let me pay. They slipped the shirts that came down to their knees on over their dresses and we pushed our way through the crowd to the concession stand. After standing in line for at least twenty minutes, Bella pouted a little when I bought beers for me, Alice and Emmett, but jumped up and down when she saw they had cherry Slushies. We made our way back to our seats just as the lights dimmed and a DJ set up on stage, playing upbeat dance songs to pump up the crowd. Alice pulled Emmett to his feet and danced seductively against him while he laughed and pulled her into him, peppering her face with small kisses. She laughed and danced and kissed him back and I was truly happy to see them lighten up and enjoy each other.

"Hey," Bella nudged me with her shoulder, "thanks for the shirt." She smiled up at me and gave me a soft kiss. Her lips were freezing and sugary sweet from the Slushie and my heart shattered again at the thought of not being able to do this with her anymore. I had always thought that if Bella didn't want a relationship then I would settle to have her as a friend as long as I could keep her in my life, but now I wasn't so sure. Friendship would kill me. Alice and Emmett were now having a full on make-out session which provided Bella with the wonderful opportunity of stealing Emmett's beer. She was scared to death that she was going to get caught drinking underage so she threw her head back and chugged the entire cup. I shook my head at her and laughed when she stole Alice's beer too and did the same thing. Those two were going to be pissed when they finally broke for air. Apparently a little alcohol was all Bella needed to warm up to me because while the rest of the crowd surrounding us was on their feet dancing to the music, she was in my lap grinding her ass against me to the beat. Alice and Emmett finally decided to take a break and sure as shit they were mad as hell when they went to drink their beers, only to find empty cups. Bella smiled sweetly and told them it was an early birthday present as they tried to get through the crowd to go buy more. There was next to no light in the arena, except for the pulsing strobes and spotlights on the stage. I didn't care that we were surrounded by thousands of fucking people or that security guards were posted every 20 feet, I was horny as fuck and Bella was egging me on. I pulled Bella into me so that her back was to my chest and told her to take her t-shirt off. She looked at me confused, but did as I said. I took the humongous shirt, draped it over our laps and told Bella to keep her eyes on the stage and continue dancing. She threw me another suspicious look, but again followed my orders. I cautiously slid a hand up the inside of her thigh, keeping an eye out for anyone paying attention to us. Everyone was still too absorbed in dancing and talking and drinking to even notice Bella and I in the crowd. I hadn't been this close to the promised land in weeks and I was waiting for her to pull away as usual, but instead she just leaned her head back on my shoulder, swirling her hips in time to the music. I knew I was probably taking advantage of the fact the she had a couple of beers in her, but I also knew that if she truly wanted me to stop she would tell me. Maybe things would be okay between us. Maybe she hadn't been making excuses. I wrapped one arm around her waist, careful to make sure the t-shirt didn't move and blow our cover while my other hand continued it's journey up her thigh.

I finally made contact with the lace fabric of her thong and immediately felt myself grow hard against her. She shuddered slightly at the contact as I slowly pushed the lace to the side feeling her smooth, wet pussy against my fingers. I continued to scan the crowd, hoping I would have enough time to get her off before Alice and Emmett came back because that would just be fucking awkward. I nodded my head and sang along to the song that the DJ was now playing, hoping to keep up our façade as I began working Bella's clit. I heard her let out a low moan that luckily couldn't be heard over the loud thumping of the music and I slowly pushed a finger inside of her. She spread her legs further apart across my lap, opening herself wide for me and I bit back a moan as I slid in another finger. She leaned forward slightly, pushing herself against the palm of my hand and continuing to rock her body to the music. I continued working her with my thumb and could feel her body begin to coil. I entered a third finger and Bella began bouncing up and down on my lap, seemingly dancing to the upbeat tempo, but in reality she was pumping my fingers in and out of her body, controlling the pace. She continued to gyrate her hips back and forth while I massaged her clit harder and faster. I curled my fingers forward inside of her and that was her undoing. She came hard around my hand and the feeling of her wetness dripping down me was enough to almost have me blow a load in my pants. She rode out her orgasm, never once crying out or letting anyone know what we had just done. Before I knew it the crowd erupted into cheers and applause as the DJ exited the stage and the lights went out. I used the darkness as an opportunity to pull out of her and she swiveled around in my lap.

Before I had time to process what was going on she grabbed my hand and slid all three of my fingers into her mouth, tasting herself on my hand and licking them clean. Holy fuck. I had never seen anything so hot in my entire life. She moaned around my hand and then pulled away. What in the hell had gotten into her? She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against my ear saying, "I've been denying you for too long and I'm sorry. I've been selfish." I pulled back to look at her and could see the guilt and confusion on her face, but before I could ask her what she was talking about Emmett and Alice were climbing over top of the people next to us trying to get to their seats.

"We made it back just in time, huh?" Emmett asked, a beer in each hand.

"Yeah, did we miss anything?" Alice chirped, seemingly happier than I had seen her in a long time. Bella laughed out loud at Alice's question and I just shook my head. As the lights came on and the crowd went wild I couldn't find it in me to be excited anymore. What had Bella been talking about? Why would she think she was being selfish? We definitely needed to have a talk. Her and Alice jumped out of their seats as Kings Of Leon appeared on the stage and Emmett's big mouth cheered and hollered louder than anyone. The bands silhouettes were illuminated from the spotlights on stage as the drums and guitar kicked in. They started out with the song 'Crawl' and the crowd went crazy again. We were all on our feet dancing and singing and cheering. Each song they played flowed into the next and I couldn't believe how incredible they were live. Bella and Alice never stopped for a second. They knew every word to all of the songs and jumped around to each one, never missing a beat. When the opening chords to 'Closer' rang through the auditorium the crowd lost their shit again.

Something about slowing the music down made all of the couples pull into each other. I had heard this song dozens of times before, actually it was probably my favorite off of the CD, but listening to it now, here with Bella, made it take on a completely different meaning.

"…she took my heart, I think she took my soul…" echoed through the speakers and I pulled Bella into me, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and swaying our bodies to the music. I felt her relax against me as she snaked an arm up around the back of my neck and twirled her fingers through my hair. Again, I had to wonder what had changed, not that I was complaining. Bella and Alice finally rested through the more laidback songs, but still danced around in their seats and sang to each other, cheering between each one. 11 songs later Alice was so drunk she was plotting on ways to run backstage and Bella was exhausted, swaying on her feet, but as soon as the electric guitar started playing the beginning of 'Sex On Fire' both girls got a second wind. The entire arena was on their feet and the sound of the crowd screaming out the lyrics almost drown out the band. Bella danced and swung her hair around, wiggling her hips and oozing sex. She grabbed my hand and made me dance with her, peeking at me every so often from underneath her thick, dark lashes and biting her lip. I wondered if she was thinking of the first time we sang this song together in my car on our first date. She had been just as adorable and sexy then blushing at the lyrics as she was now. The set finally ended and Kings Of Leon left the stage while the crowd continued hollering and demanding an encore.

Emmett decided we should leave now and hopefully be able to beat some of the traffic on the way out. We all agreed and pushed through the sea of bodies making our way to the exit and taking a breath of the fresh night air. Emmett threw Alice over his shoulder and carried her to his Hummer telling her she better not puke down his back. Bella and I hurried to my Volvo and peeled out, eager to beat the rest of the crowd that was now making it's way to their cars.

"Oh my gosh, that was fantastic! They were incredible!" Bella was positively glowing. Her cheeks were flushed from all of the dancing and her skin was slick with sweat, reminding me of the last time I had her underneath me.

"They were pretty damn good. I'm glad I came."

"I'm glad I came too," she said coyly, biting her lip and cocking an eyebrow at me, before blushing at her bold statement.

I chuckled at her, but then remembered her cryptic message from the concert. I wanted to ask her what she had meant about denying me and being selfish, but was now the best time? What if she got upset? It was still a three hour drive until we got back. I decided I needed to stop being chicken shit and just talk to her already. If I couldn't ask her a simple question now, how was I going to go through with everything I had planned for later tonight?

"Bella, what did you mean earlier, you know, what you said about being selfish?"

I waited for her response with my eyes trained on the road and the seconds ticked by achingly slow. When she didn't respond I finally chanced a look at her out of the corner of my eye and smiled. She had curled her legs up in the seat and was snuggled underneath the Kings Of Leon t-shirt, sound asleep with her head resting against the passenger window. She was so beautiful it broke my heart. I had no clue what to do with emotions and feelings this intense and I was scared to death. Even if Bella could possibly feel the same as me, what if that all changed when she found out about who I truly was, about everything from my past?

~000~

I slowed the car down as I eased over the gravel driveway, pulling to a stop in front of the large, white house. I rested back against my seat and took in the scenery around me. It had been years since I'd been to La Push, but not a thing had changed. I was grateful that my father had seemed to have forgotten I still had a key to our beach home and was eager to get inside and show Bella a little bit more of my past. I cut the engine and she stirred beside me, yawning and sitting up in her seat. She blinked a couple of times as she stared out her window and I could tell she was trying to figure out where she was.

"Edward, what is this? Where are we?" she mumbled sleepily.

"We are at the beach."

"The beach? What?"

"We're in La Push. Right around the back of that house is the beach." I pointed out the windshield.

"Okay," she said slowly, "but what are we doing here?"

"Remember how I told you that you and I had plans after the concert? Well this is it. I know how much you miss Florida and the beach from back home and I know this isn't quite the same thing, but I thought you'd like it here." I sat quietly, waiting for her response.

"Wait a minute, are you saying we're staying here?" I could see a small smile forming on her lips.

"We are. We're staying here for the entire weekend if that's okay with you."

"Okay? This is awesome! Where'd you find this place? It's gorgeous!" She threw her door open and hopped out onto the gravel, slowly turning around, taking it all in.

"This is my family's beach house. We used to come here every summer."

"God, it's-it's just breath taking. Wait, you said we're staying here all weekend? I don't have any clothes or a toothbrush…" she trailed off, seemingly disappointed at the thought of not getting to stay for lack of necessities.

"That is where you're wrong my dear Bella." She looked at me, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I walked to the back of the car and pulled her overnight bag from my trunk.

"How did you get that?" she pulled it from me and opened the zipper, examining the contents.

"I had some help from Alice. She snuck in your room earlier and packed everything for you." I watched as the confusion quickly turned into a huge grin and she began to jump up and down.

"So we really do get to stay here?" she said, so excited I didn't know whether to laugh at her or strip her naked and take her on the hood of my car.

"We really do," I replied.

"Well then why are we standing here? Give me the grand tour!"

I fumbled around with my key-ring in the dark until I found the right one and slid it into the lock on the huge, faded green door. It slowly creaked open and I was immediately hit with a thousand memories from the summers of my childhood. Bella dropped her bag by the door and kicked off her heels, walking slowly down the hallway and trailing her hand along the old, wooden banister that led to upstairs.

"Alright, you want me to show you around?"

She nodded enthusiastically and I grabbed her hand, kissing each knuckle before pulling her along.

"Okay to the left is the family room. Nothing too exciting. Couch, television, door to the beach…"

"Not exciting? This place is huge! Your family room is the size of my entire apartment!" She stared at me in disbelief. "Can we go out? Can I see the beach?"

"Absolutely," I said, not able to stop myself from placing a small kiss on her lips. This was it. The weeks of planning that had gone into this night now came down to this one moment. "Actually, can you wait here for one second? I forgot something in the car."

"Yeah, sure," she said, smiling up at me. I kissed her again and then hurried back outside, grabbing the pink bag from my trunk and clutching it to my chest, walking back in to Bella.

"What is that?" Bella said, immediately spotting the bag.

"Oh, nothing," I said, suppressing a smile.

"It doesn't look like nothing. It looks like a gift bag," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Are we going to stand here and disagree or are we going to check out the beach?"

She rolled her eyes at me and pulled my hand as we slid open the glass doors and stepped out onto the sand. The cool breeze from the ocean blew Bella's hair around her face and this moment could not have been any more perfect. The moon was out and shining bright, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and we had the beach all to ourselves.

"It's perfect out here," Bella said, reflecting my thoughts. "I hate to admit it, but this is much more beautiful than any of the beaches from back home."

We walked slowly, hand in hand, savoring the moment and enjoying the scenery.

"So are you going to carry that bag around all night or are you going to give it to me?" she said, breaking the silence.

"And what makes you think this bag is for you?" I teased.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes at me again and tried to pull it from my hands.

"You keep rolling your eyes at me and you're going to be sorry."

"Oh really? What are you going to do about it?" she took a step closer to me. I carefully set the bag down in the sand next to my feet and eyed her up.

"I'm going to do this!" I said, lunging at her and scooping her up into my arms, racing towards the ocean.

"No! Stop! Edward, put me down! You'll ruin my dress!" she begged and pleaded and kicked her little legs against me. She was lucky I didn't want to mess her dress up, because otherwise I would have thrown her right in. A dripping wet Bella was something I very much wanted to see.

"Jerk," she said, laughing as I set her down. She stared at me for a split second before sprinting back up the beach towards the gift bag. She plopped down in the sand and placed the bag in her lap waiting for me to join her.

"I thought you were worried about messing up your dress?" I questioned.

"Nah, not really. I just said that so you wouldn't throw me in," she grinned back, triumphant. She traced the edges of the bag, stealing glances at me and biting her lip. "Edward," she said, serious now, "You didn't have to do all of this and you definitely didn't need to get me a present."

"I know that I don't _have_ to do anything Bella, but I wanted to."

She shook her head and I nodded towards her to open her present. My heart raced at a furious pace and I thought I was going to throw up. I was completely terrified. She placed her hands in the bag and removed the tissue paper before pulling out the large, brown, leather book.

"What is this?" she eyed me questioningly.

"Open it up." I somehow remembered how to speak. She slowly opened the cover of the book and gasped when she saw the first page. I sat frozen in fear beside her waiting for her reaction. She turned page after page, laughing to herself and running her fingers across the smooth plastic covering the photos. She flipped through slowly, meditating on each page.

"Edward, what is-how did you do this?" I could see her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry Bella please don't cry. I asked Emmett about it and he thought a scrapbook was a good idea. I had Alice help me make copies of the pictures from your memory box…" I trailed off, debating on whether I should just run away. She flipped over the last page and the tears streamed down her cheeks when she saw the little black and white strip with our photos on it from the carnival. We sat in silence while I prayed that a tidal wave would just come and wash me away. The next thing I knew Bella had launched herself onto me and I was lying back on the sand, her mouth crushed against mine, forceful and needy. She broke away and cupped my face in her hands.

"Edward, that is the most thoughtful, beautiful, touching gift I have ever received. I don't-I don't know what to say. I just-you're too wonderful, too amazing." More tears flowed and I pushed up, moving us both into a sitting position. I gently brushed her tears away with the pads of my thumbs and placed soft kisses on her mouth until she settled down a little. "This is all too much Edward. Why did you do all of this?" I was confused by her question before I realized she truly had never had someone treat her the way she deserved to be treated; cherish her. She really didn't understand.

"Bella I wanted to do this. I wanted to do more, but I didn't have enough time. It's your birthday. Hell, even if it wasn't your birthday you'd still deserve this and so much more."

"Thank you Edward. Thank you so much. I don't-I can't…"she broke off again, shaking her head.

"Bella why did you say you were denying me at the concert?"

It took her a moment to look at me, but when she did her warm, brown eyes were filled with something I didn't understand.

"Edward I-recently I haven't been good to you. I've been selfish. I know I'm not making much sense it's just…recently I've realized my feelings for you. I can't begin to tell you how much I care about you and to think about moving forward and having sex with you without you feeling the same would just be too much. I can't go through that again. I've given my heart away before without getting anything in return and that was when my feelings were only an eighth of what they are for you." She hung her head and doodled in the sand with her fingers before continuing. "But then I realized, I have to have you." She looked back up at me, staring me dead in the eye. "I don't care how and I don't care if I get anything in return, but I need you. And I'm sorry for that, but I don't know how to exist anymore without you." Her words pierced right through my very soul and I sat there in shock, not realizing she was probably taking my reaction the wrong way. How could this be? I was so insanely in love with this girl, no words in the human language could describe it, but she was telling me she cared more than she should? She was afraid I didn't want her. How could she not see how much I cared for her? I had tried to prove myself to her time and time again, but those were through actions. Only now did I realize she wouldn't understand until I said the actual words.

"Look at me," I said, placing a hand on each side of her face. "I guess that I'm completely at fault for all of this, for you not understanding." She continued to stare at me, new tears falling down her cheeks. "Bella, I'm in love with you."

**Finally! Took him long enough, right? This was my favorite chapter so far and the next one's going to be a good one too. B&E sexy time will be happening very, very soon. Let me know what you think! Reviews are better than naughty Edward at a Kings Of Leon concert. p.s. I do not have a Beta so if you notice any mistakes at all let me know so I can correct them!**


	10. Unintended

**Alrighty so it took me a few days longer than normal to finish and post this, but it was kind of a big chapter with lots of stuff happening so I wanted to make sure I got it just right. It's slightly shorter than usual, but I feel like everything was said that needed to be. Again I have to say a HUGE thank you for all of the reviews. I love how passionate you guys get about my characters. And a big thanks for everyone who has favorited my story as well. Unbelievable! Aaaand one more thanks to all of my readers across the globe. So insane that my story has been read in so many different countries! Much love to my girl Kayleigh, the one who has encouraged me to be the creative person she always knew I was. Oh and btw, this chapter is smut-tastic ;D I own the New Moon special edition DVD, a drawer full of VS undies and a few Spice Girls dolls hidden somewhere in the basement…SM owns Twilight.**

**p.s. This chapter discusses Alice's assault. While I don't find it too graphic it still might be disturbing for some readers…**

_Somehow, I couldn't stop myself._

_I just wanted to know how it felt._

_Too strong, I couldn't hold on. _

_Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense _

_Out of how and why this happened._

_Where we're heading, there's just no knowing. _

_Then I crashed into you, and I went up in flames._

_Could've been the death of me, but then you breathed your breath in me._

_And I crashed into you, like a runaway train._

_You will consume me, but I can't walk away._

_From your face, your eyes_

_Are burning to me._

_You saved me, you gave me_

_Just what I need. _

_Oh just what I need._

_Crashed-Daughtry_

**~BELLA~**

I sat there on the floor with Alice, holding her and trying to comfort her as best as I could while she sobbed into my shoulder. I didn't press the issue any further, but just let her know that I was there for her. She cried for at least an hour, her eyes so puffy they were almost swollen shut. I went and got her a cool, damp facecloth from her bathroom and a cold bottle of water. I helped clean the smeared makeup off of her face and the only thing she kept saying was how sorry she was. The tears eventually ran out and her sobs quieted down after she settled herself on the couch.

"Bella I'm so sorry."

"Hey," I sat down next to her and squeezed her hand. "You have nothing to apologize for. This is not your fault, you know that right?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and placed the cloth over her face.

"You're the first person I've ever told, you know besides my therapist. It's kind of like a huge relief, getting it out there.""Alice, why didn't you go to the police or at least your parents?" I was baffled as to why she would keep something like that a secret.

"You don't understand Bella. I never should have snuck out that night. I was out of control. As soon as I turned 18 I thought I knew it all. I was drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. My dad was long gone and my mom had no idea, no clue what kind of person I was. Or maybe she did and just chose to ignore it. I don't know."

She leaned back against the couch, picking at her cuticles until they bled.

"Alice you don't have to…"

"No," she shook her head at me, sitting up and pulling the cloth off of her face. "I want to. I _need_ to." She cleared her throat and took a few deep breaths. "I went to my cousin's house. It was only supposed to be a couple of friends, but you know how word spreads. Tons of people were there. Most of the people I didn't really know, but I didn't care. I was having a blast. There was this guy. He um-I remember thinking that he was really cute, but now I don't really have any idea what he looked like, I was so drunk. All I remember now is that he had on this leather jacket." She paused briefly, taking several deep breaths.

"So after I was completely trashed I worked up enough courage to go over and talk to him and he was really sweet at first. He kept getting up and refilling my cup for me and told me how beautiful I was and he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with him. I had never really just hooked up with a random guy before, ya know? But like I said I couldn't even tell you how much alcohol I had in my system. So I started to follow him through the party and he stopped to talk to this other shady looking guy. I watched him reach into his pocket and give him this little baggie and even in my drunken stupor I knew something bad was going on so I decided to try and sneak away."

She stopped again, closing her eyes and shaking her head while new tears started to fall.

"He found me. I don't really know where I was, but I was by myself and I just kept thinking that I didn't feel right. It was different from being drunk, I felt sick, poisoned. It's only now that I realize he must have put something in my drink. I saw him coming at me and I wanted to fight him, I did, but I was too weak. I couldn't see straight. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I begged him to just leave me alone, but that only made him angry. I'm still not sure what he did, but my head was in excruciating pain. I think he slammed me into the wall. And then he, um, he…" her voice began to shake with the emotion of reliving her nightmare and I held her tight to me.

"He drug me into a room somewhere. I started screaming or trying to, but I don't think anyone could hear me because of the music. I kept begging, but he just got more pissed off and he-he hit me, punched me in the face like three or four times. He just kept beating me and-and choking me, telling me I needed to shut the fuck up. I guess he was trying to knock me out or k-kill me…I couldn't really see after that. My eyes were just-he hit me so much I couldn't open my eyes. I just laid there and there was so much blood in mouth and I could feel it running down my face…I didn't have any strength left. I think I was starting to black out, but I could-I could _feel_ him on me and then I thought maybe I had died," she was sobbing now, barely getting out her words.

"I felt him get off of me and I wanted to leave so badly, but I couldn't move my body, I couldn't even lift my head. It felt like my legs were made of lead. And he had just left me there. I knew for certain that I was going to die there, that no one would find me in that room until it was too late. I laid there for what felt like days, but it must have only been an hour or so. I remember falling asleep and coming to and struggling to open my eyes, but I just couldn't do it. And then I remember-I remember this voice…they kept asking me questions. I guess they were trying to figure out if I was a-alive. And the one thing that sticks out in my mind the most is them telling me that it was going to be okay, that they were going to help me and I felt this small glimmer of hope that maybe I would make it. Someone had found me. The next thing I remember after that was waking up in the hospital. I had a couple of broken ribs and he broke my nose and chipped my front tooth." She collapsed against the couch, exhausted from her admission. I stroked her hair and held her hand and had no idea how to help someone who was in such agony.

"I was just covered in bruises and scratches and-and _him. _I was supposed to testify. They had him in custody, but I couldn't bare to face him. I knew there was no way I would be able to sit in the same room with him and feel his eyes on me. I basically just hid out for awhile, hoping that it would all blow over and I could somehow, maybe, manage to put it behind me. It worked for awhile, but the dreams, the-the nightmares…"

"Shh, Alice it's okay. We're going to find a way to get through this." Truthfully I had no idea if there _was_ any way to get through something so awful, so terrifying.

"So, Emmett doesn't know about this?" She shook her head.

"I don't know how-Bella, I care about your brother so much, I don't want to put all of that on him and I just…he's the first guy I've gotten this close to since it all happened. I don't-I don't know what to do or…"

"Hey, listen. You don't have to tell him anything, but he cares about you Alice. A lot. I know he'd understand and I think it might even help you a little bit to have some more support."

"I know. I know you're right I just don't know how to say it."

We sat in silence after that and I couldn't stop imagining the horror that she had lived through. She eventually fell asleep and I covered her up with a blanket before sneaking back into my apartment.

~000~

I was beyond stressed. I was sick over what Alice had told me and wished I knew of some way to help her, not to mention I had no idea what to do about Edward. I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt and I was terrified of it. I had never felt something so strong and earth shattering and completely consuming in my entire life, so I pushed him away. Not completely, but enough that I knew I was hurting him and I didn't want to. I never wanted to hurt him, but if he wasn't looking for the same kind of commitment that I was, the complete and utter devotion, I didn't think I'd be able to handle it. It was painful enough kissing him and touching him and spending time with him, but the thought of sex, of making love to him, nearly broke me. I wanted him in ways that couldn't even be put into words, but if I left myself exposed and vulnerable to him without him giving anything in return…I couldn't even finish my thought. It hurt too much. On top of it all, Alice had become almost entirely dependant on me and I didn't have the heart to tell her I needed some space. Any free time that I had, she wanted me there with her. She was terrified of being alone with Emmett and because of it I knew Edward was suffering even more by our lack of intimacy and alone time. Weeks went by and Edward and I hadn't gone beyond kissing. It was my fault entirely because I was the one that kept stopping things from going further, but I knew if I let him touch me in any way I would give in and have sex with him and as much as I burned with the desire to feel him inside of me, the fear of having my heart broken trumped my urges.

The night of the Kings Of Leon concert came and I thought I was going to absolutely lose my mind. I had been dancing and singing in my bedroom, acting like a complete fool and Edward had busted me. I was beyond mortified, but when I saw him leaning against the doorway to my bedroom, knowing he had been watching my half naked body, I wanted to tackle him to the floor. Maybe I was being foolish. Who cares if Edward loves me? Obviously he wanted to be with me, couldn't that be enough? Why should I keep denying the both of us what we so desperately wanted? And God did I want him. He had on a tight, black t-shirt that outlined his muscular physique and dark gray pants that made me just want to bend down and bite his ass. And that hair. God, his hair alone was enough to make me want to strip naked for him. We made it to the venue and I was beyond thrilled that we had floor seats, but the real excitement came from the electricity that was passing between me and Edward. The DJ was amazing and the energy from the crowd was contagious. We were all dancing and singing and Alice and Emmett were making out like a couple of horny teenagers. I was ecstatic for them. Things had been so tense between them, especially since Alice wouldn't tell him what was going on. It was nice to see them both stop worrying so much, but honestly I was a little jealous. Of course I didn't envy them their problems, but the fact that they both knew exactly where they stood with the other. I had never believed in labels, but not knowing what Edward was to me was starting to drive me slightly insane.

I don't know why I drank Emmett and Alice's beers other than the simple fact that they were sitting there and for some reason I felt like I could use some alcohol, especially with the way Edward was looking at me and we were so close; the crowd pushing us together. Chugging two beers though hit me fast and hard and before I could stop myself I was in Edward's lap. There was nothing wrong with that, right? But then I kept going. I felt Edward's excitement as I continued to rub my ass back and forth across him and I wanted him so badly, all of my resolve flew out the window. Just because he wasn't down on his knees professing his undying devotion to me didn't mean he would turn out to be like Jacob. I decided to shut off my mind for once and just feel; feel him and what his hands were capable of doing to me; feel his body calling out to mine. He wanted me right then and there and I had never been more turned on. I came, hard, right in the middle of a crowd of thousands of people who were none the wiser as the pleasure coursed through my entire body. It had been too long. He did things to me that I didn't even know were possible, that I didn't know a person was capable of feeling. He brought out these urges and desires in me that I could no longer hold back.

The concert had been amazing, but I could barely concentrate and I so badly wanted to feel him control my body once again. I hadn't even realized how exhausted I was until I woke up in Edward's car, completely confused and disoriented.

"Edward, what is this? Where are we?"

I had never expected in a million years that he would take me away for the weekend for my birthday. And he brought me to the beach. He paid enough attention to me to know how much I loved the beach and wanted to do something to make me happy. Then there was the scrapbook. I pulled it out of the bag and was confused at first as to what it was, but as soon as I opened to the first page and saw the picture of me and Emmett with my parents at my graduation, the tears began to fall. The book was filled with almost every picture I had. I laughed out loud at the memories and slowly ran my hands along the pages as if I was touching the people in the photos. The tears came uncontrollably as I looked through my life. It must have taken weeks for Edward to put all of this together and my heart swelled to the point of bursting thinking about all of the thought and effort he had put into it.

"Edward, what is-how did you do this?"

"I'm sorry Bella please don't cry. I asked Emmett about it and he thought a scrapbook was a good idea. I had Alice help me make copies of the pictures from your memory box…" He stopped himself and I realized that he was probably confused by my reaction. He thought he had upset me. Without thinking twice I threw myself at him, knocking him back into the sand, kissing him with more force and emotion than I had ever felt about anything in my entire life.

My body craved him and I knew words would never do justice to the utter gratitude I felt towards this man for a gift he probably didn't realize meant more to me than anything else in the entire world.

"Edward, that is the most thoughtful, beautiful, touching gift I have ever received. I don't-I don't know what to say. I just-you're too wonderful, too amazing." I was crying again. I was so confused. I loved him with every single ounce of my being and I wanted so badly to believe that he felt even half as strongly about me. My heart kept telling me over and over that he cared, that he wanted me, that he wouldn't do all of the things that he does if he didn't, but my head kept reminding me of Jacob. Jacob had been wonderful at first too. Jacob gave me surprise parties and diamond earrings and soup when I was sick…

"This is all too much Edward.. Why did you do all of this?" He looked so completely confused.

"Bella I wanted to do this. I wanted to do more, but I didn't have enough time. It's your birthday. Hell, even if it wasn't your birthday you'd still deserve this and so much more."

"Thank you Edward. Thank you so much. I don't-I can't…" I broke off, not sure what to say anymore.

"Bella why did you say you were denying me at the concert?"

It took me a moment to realize what he was asking. Of course I knew what he was talking about, but in that moment I had to decide whether I continued on in silence, keeping my feelings a secret and hiding myself away from him or letting myself give in to Edward and take the leap.

"Edward I-recently I haven't been good to you. I've been selfish. I know I'm not making much sense it's just…recently I've realized my feelings for you. I can't begin to tell you how much I care about you and to think about moving forward and having sex with you without you feeling the same would just be too much. I can't go through that again. I've given my heart away before without getting anything in return and that was when my feelings were only an eighth of what they are for you." I looked away, tracing my fingers through the sand. This was all too much. I couldn't stop now though. I had finally made up my mind.

"But then I realized, I have to have you." I looked back up at him. "I don't care how and I don't care if I get anything in return, but I need you. And I'm sorry for that, but I don't know how to exist anymore without you." He stared at me for what felt like hours, a look of shock on his face. I held my breath as the tears continued to fall, waiting for the rejection and the pain to come. He finally broke the silence.

"Look at me," he grabbed my face, forcing my eyes onto his. "I guess that I'm completely at fault for all of this, for you not understanding. Bella, I'm in love with you." And the world exploded around me. I got to my feet. I was in complete shock and disbelief. My brain was trying to tell me to run away, trying to keep me from exposing myself further, but I kept my feet firmly planted in the sand. I wasn't going to run anymore. Yes, I was scared as hell and I had never once expected someone as amazing and perfect and incredible as Edward to love me back, but there he was, opening his heart to me. He stood too and I knew he was waiting for my response.

"Edward, I am so in love with you."

He gripped my waist and pulled me into him with such force my head spun. He kissed me then, so urgently, his tongue demanding entrance into my mouth. I groaned against him, completely consumed. He was everywhere and everything and I couldn't manage to get myself close enough.

"Say it again Bella," he moaned into my mouth.

"I love you Edward. I love you. I'm in love with you," I gasped as he cupped my ass, causing my dress to ride up.

"You have no idea how good that sounds," he whispered in between kisses.

He lifted me and I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. My dress was somewhere around my hips now and I could feel his erection rubbing through the lace of my thong.

"I want you Isabella, I need you," he said low in my ear. I moaned from the combination of the feel of his hot breath and his demands.

"Oh God, I want you too Edward," I breathed, attacking his mouth again. And then he was running, actually fucking running with me still attached to him, up the beach into the house. He stumbled through the glass doors into the living room, practically slamming me into the wall with the force of his sheer need for me. I knew exactly how he felt. All this time my body had been craving his touch like a drug and now we were finally here in this moment, all of our feelings for each other out in the open and the hunger to devour each other driving our actions. We continued to kiss ravenously, my hands tangled in his hair while he tried to make his way to the bedroom. He somehow managed to find the steps and I unhooked my legs from around him, not daring to have him carry me up the stairs. There was no way I was going to have this night ending in the emergency room. I leaned back, spread out on the steps while he hovered above me, both of us trying to catch our breath.

"I need to see you," he growled, grabbing me again, tugging at my dress. I lifted my body in the air as he slid it down my hips and off of my legs, flinging it over the railing.

"Fuck Bella, why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"I didn't need one," I whispered back feeling extremely exposed and ridiculously turned on. He placed a hand on each side of me, caging me against the stairs and attacked me with his mouth again. I reached out and tugged at his shirt, until he practically ripped it off and pressed his perfectly chiseled chest against mine. My nipples immediately hardened at the contact and I desperately needed some sort of friction against the aching throb between my thighs. "Edward," I moaned out. I was begging now. I couldn't really find the words to tell him exactly what it was I wanted, so I just kept repeating his name. He broke away from my mouth, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck to my collarbone. He paused briefly, licking his way down the front of my chest, down in between my breasts, so tortuously slow I involuntarily arched my back up, thrusting myself into his face, my body begging for more. He continued making his way down my torso, alternating between kissing and sucking and licking, over my stomach, circling his tongue around my belly button, lower and lower, kissing a trail across the edge of my thong from one hip to the other. I gripped his arms trying desperately to pull myself closer to him somehow in my awkward position. He skimmed his nose over the thin, lace fabric and gently flicked out his tongue, sucking me into his mouth.

"Oh that feels so good, more," I cried. He quickly rose to his feet, pulling me up by my hand as we raced up the steps only to make it as far as the hall before we were throwing ourselves at each other again, hitting the floor. He pulled my legs apart, cupping my pussy and slowly rubbing back and forth; the lace feeling amazing against my swollen lips. I cried out when he shoved the material aside and gently bit down. He pulled me up to my feet again and I followed him down an endless hall until he finally threw the last door open, picking me up once again and laying me back on the huge bed. He crawled up over top of me and kissed me again, slower and more sensual, breaking away and stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"I love you, so much Isabella." And it poured out of him, the raw emotion. I could feel it in that moment, feel his words and the genuineness behind them.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that," I sighed, running my fingers through his hair. We had slowed things down now. We weren't any less urgent or needy, but somehow both realized that we wanted to savor this moment, really appreciate each other. He rested his forehead against mine as I ran my fingers over the smooth skin of his back.

"Make me yours Edward." He sat up and pulled off his pants and boxers, resting back on his knees, taking me in. I wanted to feel embarrassed, lying there in nothing but my underwear while he examined every inch of me, but I didn't. I felt wanted and needed and more importantly I felt _loved._ He kept his eyes locked on mine and I tried to do the same, but I couldn't stop staring at his naked body. In the few times that we had messed around I had never really had the time to see him, to appreciate him. His strong, broad shoulders and hard chest; the smooth, defined stomach muscles covered with the small trail of dark hair that led the way to the perfect v-cut of his hip bones, down into his magnificent erection. I hadn't seen that many naked men in my life, but I knew that Edward was not lacking. I didn't need a comparison to know how huge he was. The wetness pooled between my legs and I knew by now my underwear was probably ruined. He leaned forward slightly, gently grabbing my ankle and raising my leg off of the bed, placing small kisses up my calf, across my knee and up my thigh, his hot breath fanning out across my flesh, causing me to break out in goose-bumps. He repeated the action on the opposite leg and I thought I was going to explode if I didn't have him. I reached out and grabbed his smooth, hard shaft, causing him to gasp. Gripping him firmly, I slowly began pumping him as he dipped his head forward, sucking a breast into his mouth. I arched towards him as he sucked and flicked my nipple while massaging my other breast and I was going into sensation overload. I started to work him faster, and could feel him grow in my hand as he switched breasts, sucking me so hard I thought for sure he'd leave a mark, but it felt exquisite. He broke away causing himself to fall from my hand and I was momentarily disappointed until I saw that he was removing my underwear. He leaned over the edge of the bed towards his pants, and I realized he must have been getting a condom. I placed a hand on his chest.

"Edward you don't have to. I'm on the pill and I mean, I trust you unless…" he shook his head and shut up my ramblings with a kiss as he placed himself over my body. He reached down and slowly massaged my slit, spreading the wetness and inserting a finger, than two and three. He pushed into me deliciously slow, before sliding out and rubbing the tip of his cock back and forth over my opening. I spread my legs farther apart, begging for him and we locked eyes. He continued to tease my entrance and my whole body was quivering with the thought of what was about to happen.

"Please Edward, please," I sobbed.

"Please what Isabella? Say it. I want to hear you beg for me," he growled.

"Make love to me, Edward," I moaned and heard a grumble low in his chest as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. He took his time, allowing me to adjust to him, inch by inch and we moaned in unison as he sunk down into me, pressing us flat against each other.

"Oh God, you're so tight," he groaned, closing his eyes. I grabbed his face, pulling him towards me trying to convey all of my love for him without words and he slowly began to rock inside of me. He reached up and placed my hands above my head, lacing our fingers together and giving him better access to my breasts. Slowly he began to pick up the pace and I bent my knees, causing him to push deeper inside of me, hitting places I never knew existed. I rocked my hips upward, meeting each one of his thrusts with my own, our labored breathing the only sound in the room.

"Mmm you feel so good Edward." He was pounding into me now; the bed frame thumping against the wall above our heads. I had never felt so full and whole in my entire life. The thought of Edward stretching me to maximum capacity turned me on further and I could feel the numbing warmth start to creep through my body. Up my arms and legs, across my chest and into my stomach. I had never once had an orgasm from sex alone. With Jacob I had always needed to get off before hand and I always thought something was wrong with me, but it all became very clear that I was not the one with the problem. I wrapped my legs behind Edward's back, locking my ankles together, pulling him into me. He extracted his fingers from mine and pushed up, supporting his weight and slamming his hips into mine frantically, the delicious sound of skin slapping skin echoing throughout the room.

I cried out with each thrust; he was hitting me at just the right angle and causing the friction I so desperately needed, rubbing back and forth over my clit. I slowly ran my nails down his back, trailing my hands over his muscular ass and squeezing, pulling him into me.

"Oh don't stop, don't stop Edward," I whimpered, surprised I still remembered how to talk. "Oh God, I'm gonna cum. Oh my God, oh my God," I chanted over and over as I exploded, clenching him from inside. My body arched up off of the bed of it's own will and I cried out before falling back. I could tell that Edward wasn't far behind by the look of concentration on his face so I pushed up on my elbows and bit down on his neck.

"Ahh fuck Bella," he hissed as he spilled inside of me, falling on top of me against the bed, kissing me slow and passionately. We laid there for several minutes, his forehead pressed against mine, while we tried to catch our breath in between kisses. He slowly pulled out of me and I felt as though I had lost a limb. He leaned up on his side, stroking my hair and placing soft, gentle kisses on both eyelids, my cheeks, my nose, my chin.

"That was-that was incredible," he sighed, trailing his fingers along my body.

"Mmm you have no idea," I murmured, pulling him to me for another kiss. I was quickly beginning to understand that I would never be able to get enough of this man.

"Happy Birthday Isabella."

"My birthday isn't until tomorrow."

"It's 2:09," he said, pointing to the wall clock across the room. "It is tomorrow." He gave me that crooked smile that had me wanting him all over again and pulled me against him, cradling me to his chest, his arms wrapped around me and our legs tangled together. We were as close as we could possibly be.

"Wow," I whispered. "Best. Birthday. Ever."

~000~

"Good morning birthday girl."

I stretched and yawned, smiling to myself before even opening my eyes, knowing I was waking up next to Edward. I rolled over expecting to find his warm, naked body, but no such luck. I sat up and blinked open my eyes and found Edward perched on the edge of the bed looking sexier than anyone should be allowed to look this early in the morning. He was naked, except for a pair of navy blue pajama bottoms sliding low on his hips and he was holding a plate in one hand stacked high with french toast and orange juice in the other.

"You made me breakfast in bed?" I laughed.

"I did," he grinned back.

"When did you have time to go grocery shopping?"

"I swung by and stocked up yesterday before the concert." I shook my head at him, still in shock that this incredible man wanted me. I noticed him continuing to grin at me and realized I was still naked. I leaned over to grab his shirt from off the floor, but he stopped me.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Um, getting dressed?"

"Mmm, no I like you better like this," he smirked.

"I am not eating breakfast naked," I laughed at him, slipping his shirt on over my head and pulling on his boxers, rolling the waistband several times so they'd stay on my hips.

We took turns feeding each other the mound of french toast, kissing in between each bite and licking syrup off of each other's chins. I had never been so blissfully happy in my entire life. I grabbed the orange juice from the nightstand and took a big swig, nearly spitting it back in the glass.

"Um, Edward I think this orange juice is rancid," I said, puckering my lips.

He chuckled at me and shook his head. "It's not rancid Bella. It's a Mimosa. There's champagne in it."

"Oh. Isn't it a little early to start drinking?"

"Not when it's your 21st birthday. I have every intention of getting you trashed today." He grinned at me. I put the glass to my lips again and tentatively took another sip. Hmm, it wasn't so bad. Actually, it was good now that I was expecting it. I downed the rest of the large glass and could already feel the warmth from the alcohol spreading through my chest. This was going to be a long day.

"So what are we doing today?" I said, bouncing up and down on the bed. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I had an entire weekend alone with Edward.

"That is entirely up to you. We could go out to the beach, or head into town. There's a bunch of little shops there that you'd probably like. And tonight there's like this summer concert thing out by the beach…" he trailed off while I weighed my options. I was silent for several minutes and then began crawling towards him on all fours, gently pushing his chest to ease him back onto the bed.

"We have all day right?" I smiled, placing a knee on either side of his torso. He gave me a slight nod, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Well I definitely know what I want to do first," I whispered, placing small kisses on his stomach, trailing up his chest and then finally onto his mouth.

"And what is that?" he said low and seductive.

"Take a shower," I whispered in his ear before jumping off of the bed and sprinting out of the room. Truthfully I had no idea where the shower was or the towels or pretty much anything, but I was hoping once he recovered he'd get the hint and follow me. I had made it down the stairs and grabbed my bag without any sign of him and I was nervous now that maybe he thought I didn't want him. I turned around to find Edward standing on the bottom step, arms crossed across his chest, watching me.

"You think you're going to get away from me that easily?" He cocked an eyebrow, slowly stalking towards me. I continued to stare at him wide-eyed and helpless, adrenaline coursing through my body, ready to play whatever little game he was starting. He stood in front of me, pressing me into the wall, pushing his body flush against mine. Without warning he pulled up the hem of his t-shirt I was wearing, exposing my naked chest to him and ducked down, sucking me into his mouth. He pinched the nipple on my right breast between his thumb and finger all while working his magic tongue over the left one, making me writhe against the wall. He continued on until my arousal had become too much and I cried out, desperately trying to pull him closer. He broke away then, pulling back and staring at me with smug satisfaction.

"Better go get that shower," he smirked, knowing exactly what he had just done. I suppose getting me back was only fair. Bastard. So that's how he wanted to play? Game on. I grabbed my bag and walked past him, being sure to brush against his very obvious erection before starting back up the stairs. I made it to the landing and turned to face him, his eyes trained intently on me and in a move so uncharacteristic I wouldn't have believed it if I weren't standing there doing it, I pulled off his shirt and boxers and flung them at him over the railing, marching off towards the bathroom and silently congratulating myself.

I stepped into the humongous bathroom and tried to take in my surroundings. There was a huge, claw foot tub in the center of the room, marble counter tops and a shower big enough to fit my apartment inside of it. I spun around and locked the door, not letting Edward get off the hook that easy. I grabbed a big, white, fluffy towel from the shelf in the corner and began rifling through my bag for my razor, shampoo and soap, but nearly passed out from what I found. Alice had clearly lost her mind. Amongst my shorts and t-shirts was enough lingerie for me to do my own spread in Playboy and I had never seen any of it before in my entire life. I didn't know whether to be angry or thankful or just plain embarrassed. I pulled out what I needed for the shower, started the water and climbed inside. I stood there, motionless under the hot water, replaying the previous night's events over and over again in my head. The concert, the beach, the scrapbook, the mind-blowing sex…Edward telling me he loved me. Edward's in love with me. I still couldn't manage to grasp the concept. I showered and shaved quickly, eager to get back to him. I pulled on a green halter top and denim shorts, towel dried my hair and slapped on a little mascara for good measure. I hurried out of the bathroom and in my excitement threw the door open only to find an empty bedroom. I walked back into the hall and could hear the faint sound of running water coming from the opposite end. Of course. A house this huge would obviously have another shower. I followed the sound until I came to the last door on the right and swung it open, my jaw dropping. It must have been the master bedroom, but that didn't quite define it. It was bright and open and decorated with greens and blues. There was a huge bed in the center of the room covered in pillows and a ceiling to floor window with a breathtaking view of the beach. I turned around and there was a door sitting wide open, revealing a much larger bathroom than the one I had just used, but I couldn't focus on any of that because there was Edward in all of his naked glory standing behind the glass shower door, eyes closed and head tilted towards the stream of water.

I tried to make myself walk away or at the very least stop staring, but I had no control over those types of things when it came to Edward. I watched as the beads of water slowly rolled over his shoulders and down his muscular chest, down his stomach, over his legs…I'm pretty sure at this point I was probably drooling, but I couldn't seem to snap myself out of it. He turned the water off then, flung open the door and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist, smirking at me the entire time.

"See something you like?" he asked, smirk still in place as he sauntered towards me, smacking me on the butt before pushing past and out into the hall. I followed after him into the first bedroom and continued to stare at him while he got dressed like the creepy perv that I was.

"You know, you keep staring at me like that and it'll wind up going straight to my head," he laughed, snapping me out of my trance.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, hoping to sound like I wasn't bothered at all, but I could feel the flush in my cheeks betraying me. "So can we go into town?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Whatever you want to do my love," he replied, making my knees go weak. I would never, ever get tired of hearing him call me that.

**The next chapter or so will be a little less angsty, but I promise the drama will return shortly. Reviews are better than watching Edward shower ;D**


	11. Bliss

**Alrighty, you're probably going to get a bajillion alerts from because the site's giving me hell right now and not saving the changes I'm making to my story so...yeah. Anyway after taking the longest unofficial hiatus ever I'm finally back! I had an extremely busy summer and a terrible case of writer's block and thought about giving up on my story time and time again, but then I'd open my e-mail and see that I still had new followers and people favoriting my story and you all gave me the encouragement to keep going! Once again I want to say a ginormous thankyou and that I love you all! This chapter is slightly shorter than the others and I will most likely be continuing on with this length because I realized I was practically frying my brain trying to cram too much into one chapter! Lots of fluff and lots of lemons in this one! Hope you like it...**

_Moment of honesty_

_Someones gotta take the lead tonight_

_Who's it gonna be?_

_I'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me_

_If we gonna do something 'bout it, we should do it right now_

_You give me a feeling that I've never felt before_

_And I deserve it, I think I deserve it_

_It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore _

_And I can't take it_

_I was wondering maybe could I make you my baby?_

_If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?_

_Or woud it be so beautiful?_

_Either way I'm saying, if you ask me I'm ready_

_Unthinkable (I'm Ready)-Alicia Keys_

**~EDWARD~**

Having sex with Bella had been incredible, amazing, mind-blowing…like nothing I could have imagined even in my wildest dreams. It was home. The whole night had gone better than I had hoped for. Bella passed out almost immediately after, our limbs intertwined and her head resting over my heart. I laid there for at least two hours just watching her. She was so incredibly breathtaking I still had no idea what she was doing with someone like me. Would we truly be able to overcome my past once Bella found out? The thought of losing her made my throat tighten and my chest ache. She whimpered softly against me, sighing and smiling and the love I felt for her grew by the second. I finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep and prayed that I would wake up before her in the morning. Luckily I carefully slid out of bed a little after 9 and Bella was still sound asleep.

I made my way into the kitchen to cook us breakfast and burned myself three times before returning to Bella with a plate full of French toast. I don't know why I was so nervous, I had cooked for her before, but now it was different. Now she was mine. She was still completely gorgeous even with the haystack of hair on her head. After she was finished eating I was hoping that she'd want to pick up where we left off last night because my need for her was insatiable and as she eased me onto my back on the bed and spread her legs around my waist I was nearly speechless at the way she took control. I don't think I'd ever understand her. One minute she was shy and blushing at the mere mention of something sexual and the next she was mounting me. After she got me all riled up only to spring off the bed and sprint towards the shower, our game of sexual tug of war continued throughout the day.

Once we finished getting dressed she decided the first thing she wanted to do was go into town to do a little shopping. We walked the short way there enjoying the sun and the cool breeze that reminded us Fall was fast approaching. Her eyes lit up like a damn Christmas tree when she saw the row of stores connected with an old bookstore smack dab in the middle. She pulled on my hand and immediately drug me inside, her face closely resembling something similar to what I had seen last night, making me realize that reading for her was right up there with sex. We were greeted by an older, gray haired man with rosy cheeks and thick bushy eyebrows telling us we were free to roam the store and to holler if we needed help with anything. I followed Bella up a long, winding, metal staircase into a room filled with more books than I had ever seen in my life. I stood back and just watched her, completely enraptured. She was definitely in her element and the way she took in her surroundings and appreciated every single book was almost breathtaking in it's beauty. I couldn't believe how absolutely perfect she was and that she was mine. What had I done to deserve someone as pure and innocent and loving as her? I was a deviant; a nobody. A nobody with a past that was secretly killing me and would surely break her heart if she ever found out.

She spun around and her entire face glowed with that smile that made me want to be a better person. She crooked a finger towards me and silently beckoned me across the room. I walked towards her and grabbed her hand that was extended towards me. She tugged me behind her, traveling deeper into the bookstore until we were completely secluded from the rest of the world. She pulled me to her, gripping my waist and turning me around so that my back was pressed against the shelf before she began attacking me with her mouth. I stood frozen for a few seconds in complete shock from her actions, but quickly melted into her, my lips working feverishly against hers. Her fingers were in my hair yanking me towards her almost painfully so, which only caused my erection to strain harder against my jeans.

"Bella," I sighed against her mouth, "someone could come up here and see us." I tried to sound insistent on stopping her, but couldn't really bring myself to actually pull away.

"That's what makes it so exciting," she purred in my ear, trailing her mouth down my neck into the hollow of my throat. I felt my eyes involuntarily roll back in my head and watched the sex goddess before me sink to her knees. I knew what she was about to do and if I had been any sort of decent guy I would have told her to stop since we were technically in a public place, but I had been dreaming about her perfect lips wrapped around my cock for far too long now and I wasn't about to stop that dream from coming true.

She ever so slowly popped open the button on my jeans then pulled my zipper in between her teeth, her hot breath washing through the fabric and causing me to quiver in my pants. The pleasure of what I knew was about to come was enough to make me almost lose consciousness, but tearing my eyes away from my beautiful girlfriend preparing to give me head was not something I wanted to miss. Her cheeks were flushed with her anticipation as she pulled the zipper down tooth by tooth making me ready to burst from the torture of waiting. She placed both hands on my waist, roughly yanking my jeans down around my ankles surprising the hell out of me. She slowly trailed her hands back up my legs and thighs until she reached the waistband of my boxer shorts and delicately traced her fingers back and forth across the edge, making my stomach muscles jump with each pass of her skin on mine.

She gripped me suddenly, urgently, through the fabric, squeezing and pulling and massaging causing me to let out embarrassing grunts and groans that I was silently praying to control as to not draw any attention to us. Every so many minutes we could hear the little bells jingling over the door below and voices floating through the air alerting us that we could get busted at any second, but I was too far gone to care too much anymore. Gently she slid my shorts down my legs; reverently, as if she was opening a present. My erection sprang free, centimeters away from her ready and waiting mouth and it took all of my strength to not just grab her by the back of the neck and shove myself down her throat, but I figured that might ruin the moment. She stood up suddenly making me extremely disappointed, but slightly relieved that she had finally come to her senses.

She reached out and opened a door I hadn't realized I was standing beside and pulled me into the dark space with her; the only light coming from a tiny window in the corner up near the ceiling. She shut the door and locked it behind her and I looked around realizing we were in some sort of office or storage room. There were boxes stacked neatly against the length of one wall filled with books overflowing over the tops. There were a few shelves with more books and random Christmas and Halloween decorations lining the bottom shelf covered with a thick layer of dust. In the corner behind me was a small desk with a lamp, a calendar, random scraps of paper and a handful of pens and pencils.

Bella gently pushed me on the chest and I walked backward as best as I could with my pants around my ankles until I reached the other side of the desk and fell backwards into the brown, leather chair. Just moments ago I was literally inches away from being inside Bella's sweet, hot mouth and as much as I still ached at the thought of having that, there was something I wanted more now. I tore Bella's shirt off over her head, causing her to gasp at my roughness and almost ripped her bra in half in my urgency to have her naked before me. Her hips were involuntarily bucking in the air now seeking out friction as I made quick work of disrobing her lower half. I could smell her arousal for me and I momentarily wished there was a way I could fuck her and have her in my mouth at the same time. Last night had been about making love; about our first time together being special and romantic and me showing my feelings for her through actions, but right now was about animalistic need and want.

This was not going to be slow and gentle. This was going to be fast and hard and rough. This was about me showing her the side of me that wanted to fuck her until she could do nothing but scream. It was about showing her the side of me that wanted to bury myself as deep inside of her as I could go and mark her as mine. I gripped her ass and yanked her towards me almost making her topple over on top of me. We both knew what this was about and what the other wanted. She straddled my lap, her legs spread wide on either side of me as she impaled herself on my cock. We moaned in unison at the sheer pleasure of being connected again. I rolled the chair back against the wall using my feet and planted them firmly on the ground. Bella leaned forward, a hand on either side of my head and began rolling her hips; pulling her legs in tighter, knees bent in the chair on each side of me. She slowly rose up almost completely losing me before she slammed herself back down on me, crying out each time, her perfect breasts bouncing continuously in my face.

"Oh God Edward, you feel so good," she panted out, riding me as fast as she could manage now.

Without warning I stood up, taking Bella with me and practically throwing her backwards on top of the desk; the lamp clattering to the floor. We both froze momentarily, waiting to hear sounds from below, but heard nothing except the normal chattering of voices. I wrapped a hand around each one of her thighs and placed her legs on my shoulders as I pounded into her, folding her in half and hitting her at a new angle that made her whimper and moan uncontrollably. She gripped my biceps and dug her nails in as she thrust her hips upward, meeting each one of mine. She was so hot and wet and tight and I couldn't believe I had been missing out on being sheathed in Bella's sweet pussy for so long.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby. Don't stop. Please. Harder, harder," she breathed out in between each push of her hips. I gripped the edge of the desk and slammed into her using all of my strength, over and over again, the desk scraping across the floor. I knew how wrong this was and that we should probably stop because there was no way in hell the customers down below couldn't hear the noise coming from this room, but Bella felt too fucking good and I could already see her wetness leaking out and trailing down her thighs. I couldn't stop myself from rubbing my fingers down her leg, collecting the moisture and bringing it to my mouth; Bella's eyes rolling back in her head. By the look on her face and the quivering of her muscles I knew she was close and I slid a hand in between us, working her throbbing clit as fast as I could manage.

She was gasping now, her back arched up and her mahogany locks spread wildly behind her, trailing down her back across the table. She whimpered out incoherent words, punctuating each thrust with sounds that made me want to fuck her into oblivion.

"Oh, ohhhh, oh yeah. God, I'm almost there. Keep going," she panted. I continued to work her clit, pinching and pulling as I banged her relentlessly; my own release quickly building. She cried out as she came, her cheeks flushed as she fell back against the table, her skin slick and glistening with sweat. I pounded into her with all the strength I had left, my legs shaking beneath me as I came harder than I probably ever had in my entire life. I collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily and she threaded her fingers through my now matted hair, pulling me towards her for a kiss. She sighed contentedly into my mouth and I couldn't help smiling against her lips.

"That was so incredible Edward," she said breathlessly, smiling up at me.

"Mmm you have no idea gorgeous."

"I think I may have a small idea," she said, closing one eye and scrunching her nose."

"God I love you Bella, so much."

"I love you more," she whispered back.

"Impossible," I replied, kissing the tip of her nose and slowly pulling myself up and out of her.

We quickly got dressed and did our best to not look like we had just finished having mind-blowing sex. We straightened up the mess we had made around the room, trying to put things back the way we found them and I slowly opened the door, peeking my head out to make sure the coast was clear. I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her behind me towards the metal staircase that had led us up there. We descended the stairs as quickly as possible and bolted for the front door, both too embarrassed to make eye contact with anyone in the store. Once we were safely outside we both started laughing uncontrollably as we walked hand in hand past the row of shops. She smelled like the most delicious mixture of the two of us and pure sex and I could feel my arousal slowly beginning to build again. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be ready for round two and I was just hoping and praying that Bella would be ready too. We had a long night ahead of us.

After taking our time walking through each and every one of the little shops and Bella oohing and aahing over a silver necklace she had found in the antique shop we decided to make our way back to the house to change for dinner. I wanted to buy her the necklace more than anything especially after seeing her try it on and it nestling perfectly in between her fantastic cleavage, but I wasn't sure if it was too soon in our relationship to be buying her such expensive jewelry and if I would freak her the fuck out or not. We got back to our place and after several minutes of trying not to rip each other's clothes off again since we didn't want to be late for the concert/dinner on the beach, Bella decided she needed another shower to freshen up from our previous activities. I showered as well and shaved as quickly as humanly possible, got dressed and headed back over to the antique shop to get the necklace. I was hoping I could get it and be back in time before Bella even realized I had left. The necklace was gorgeous and it was perfect for her. I loved her with every ounce of my being and wanted to show her that over and over again. This whole weekend was supposed to be about her anyway and no matter what she said I wanted to do more for her than just some dumb scrapbook and a trip to the beach. I rushed over as quickly as I could and for a split second panicked, thinking they had already sold it, but it had just been moved to a different display. I knew Bella was definitely going to have a shit fit for me spending all of that money on her, but there was no way I could resist. The little spotlight in the display case made the tiny star pendant dangling from the long silver chain shine brilliantly and the cluster of diamonds in the center reflected a rainbow of colors. I knew once she got over the initial shock of the whole money thing she would love it. At least, I hoped she would.

I somehow managed to get it gift wrapped and get back to the house right as Bella was making her way down the steps. I nearly choked on my own spit when I took in what she was wearing, making me equal parts of extremely pissed and really horny. She reached the bottom step and gave me a grin.

"And where were you?" she said, still smiling and arching an eyebrow at me.

"I uh, I um, I was-Bella what the fuck are you wearing?" I practically growled at her.

"What? What do you mean? Does it look bad? I've never seen it before. I found it in my bag so Alice must've gotten it for me and I just thought-"

Great, I had made her feel like shit. It was like my specialty now. She thought I didn't like what she was wearing because I had no verbal filter or common sense whatsoever, when in all actuality she looked entirely too sexy and I wasn't sure if I should forget dinner altogether and just taker her on the floor or risk taking her out in public knowing she was going to get eye-fucked by every man within a 10 mile radius and probably some women too.

"Shh Bella," I cut her off by placing a finger over her lips. "You look absolutely incredible. You'll have to forgive me for acting like such an ass, but when it comes to you I can't really control myself."

"So you like it then?" she asked, stepping closer, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Mmm, like doesn't quite cover it," I practically moaned. She actually had no idea what she did to me and how many hours of the day I fantasized about fucking her in every way imaginable and probably in some ways that had never even existed until I met her.

"Good," she said smirking. "Now let me just grab my heels and we can go."

"Actually you should probably just wear flip-flops, everything is outside on the beach so you'll most likely end up not wearing shoes anyway."

"Oh okay."

She slipped on her shoes as we walked out into the moonlight, taking our time and enjoying every second we had together.

"Do we really have to go back tomorrow?" Bella asked, looking up at me and unconsciously biting her lip.

"That we do because your birthday weekend spectacular is far from over and we cannot be late tomorrow."

"You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?" she said trying her best to look angry.

"Uh definitely not. I'm not interested in Alice ripping off my testicles."

She huffed at my reply, crossing her arms over her chest and seriously testing any willpower I had left to not rip all of her clothes off. Her long hair was pulled back into a low, messy bun with pieces of her waves escaping and blowing in the breeze. Her delicate, creamy neck gave way to her protruding collar bone down into her breasts that were covered in nothing but a black bra that she was practically spilling out of and a peach colored lace top that left very little to the imagination. I didn't know whether to hug Alice for that or strangle her. I kept my hand wrapped possessively around hers as we entered the restaurant making sure everyone knew without a doubt that she was mine. I gave the hostess my name and she led us out onto the beach to a little table with a bottle of wine already chilling in the center. I pulled Bella's chair out for her and watched as her tight, black skirt rose shamefully high as she got situated.

"Bella, you're going to let everyone out here see your underwear," I warned, secretly hoping that I'd catch a glimpse before she pulled her skirt back down.

"Don't worry," she said, whispering and leaning in, "I'm not wearing any."

"God, what are you trying to do to me?" I whispered back, lightly grazing her knee before I forced myself to find my seat. After the waiter came to see if we wanted any appetizers, I poured Bella and myself each a glass of wine. I noticed her shivering slightly in the cool, night air and I drug my chair around the tiny table to get closer to her. I didn't care that everyone on the beach was probably looking at us practically sitting on top of each other or that I had completely turned into the kind of guy I couldn't normally stand, my feelings for Bella grew stronger with each passing second and I literally ached to be next to her even when we were mere inches apart. I put my arm around her, pulling her into my side and gently rubbing the goose-bumps away on her arm. She sighed contentedly into my shoulder and I couldn't imagine life getting any better than it was at that very minute. The waiter returned with our plates and we only separated from each other to take bites of food or be ridiculously sappy and feed each other.

We made small talk about everything and nothing throughout the meal and Bella's present weighed heavy in my pocket. I was waiting for the perfect moment to give it to her, but just couldn't seem to figure out when exactly that was. Our waiter returned to clear our plates and see if we had any room left for dessert and we agreed on splitting a slice of chocolate cake topped with strawberries and whipped cream. Once it arrived I had to restrain myself from tearing off Bella's top and eating it off of her breasts. By the time we were half way through the dessert, my need for her was actually causing me physical pain as I watched her wrap her lips around the fork, slowly bringing each bite into her mouth and making little moaning noises each time. I shifted myself in my seat remembering Bella's gift which snapped me back into reality. After the table was cleared and the wine bottle was nearly empty, I turned myself so my chair was facing hers. The band had begun playing and Bella was lost in the music while I sat there and watched her, really noticing all of the little things that made her truly beautiful. The way her flawless, translucent skin practically glowed underneath the moon and the stars, the way she was constantly gnawing at her bottom lip whenever she was nervous or worried or just deep in thought. The way she had the lightest spattering of freckles across her nose and out onto her cheeks or how to everyone else her eyes were a rich, chocolate brown, but up close they had specks of gold and emerald that circled just the iris. As much as I wanted to sit there and watch her for the rest of my life I lightly trailed my fingers down her neck, bringing her attention towards me. As she turned I gently placed the small box with the silver bow in the palm of her hand.

She opened her mouth and before she had the chance to begin protesting I silenced her with a kiss.

"Bella, I know what you're going to say, but when it comes to you money doesn't matter. I love you and I want to do things for you and give you things; take care of you. So please, open it up and just enjoy it. Let it be a reminder to you of my love."

I could see her beginning to tear up as she simply nodded and tore open the blue paper on the little package. She ever so slowly opened the box and gasped once she saw what was inside.

"Edward how did you-I mean, when did you? Oh God it's beautiful. I don't know what to say, I just…I want to say it's too much, but I love it. I really do. You're too good to me Edward, I don't deserve you."

"You're right Bella you deserve so much more." She shook her head at me with a pained expression on her face.

"I don't ever want to lose you," she whispered, leaning in and kissing me passionately.

"You never will," I whispered back. I removed the necklace from it's resting place in the box and hooked it around her neck.

"Shall we Ms. Swan?" I asked, extending my hand towards her and leading her down the beach to where the other couples had started dancing. There were four guys on stage who appeared to be about our age and though we had missed their introduction we quickly realized they were a cover band, playing mostly slower, classic rock type songs. I pulled Bella behind me until we found a little clearing and she giggled the entire time; stumbling over her feet.

"Bella, are you drunk?" I laughed at her, obviously knowing the answer to my question. She adamantly shook her head no, but I knew better. She claimed she was a terrible dancer, but as soon as I pulled her into me and began giving her a little lead she quickly fell into the music. Whether it was the alcohol she had consumed or just her natural abilities coming to the surface Bella was honestly quite good. I pulled her to me and we began swaying to the beat, off in our own little world. She pulled me tighter to her, leaving no space in between our bodies, but it wasn't even remotely sexual. It was about love and I could feel it radiating off of her body in waves. I bent my head and began singing the words low in her ear.

"Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again."

We continued swaying to the beat amidst the crowd of bodies moving to the same rhythm. A large expanse of the beach was covered with tiki torches and large potted Palm trees that were strung through with twinkle lights. We were close enough to the ocean to feel the spray and hear the waves crashing in the background. The stage was lit with dark orange, red and yellow lights pulsing above and out into the crowd, reflecting off of the dancers and casting it's glow onto the sand.

"Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am young again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am fun again. However far away I will always love you. However long I stay I will always love you. Whatever words I say I will always love you. I will always love you."I continued singing to her as she hummed along, closing her eyes and winding her fingers through my hair.

"Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am free again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am clean again." I closed my eyes on that last line feeling the weight of the words sink in and realizing Bella truly had changed me for the better. Hopefully she would be able to see that even when she found out about the way I used to be. I continued humming the rest of the song in her ear, trailing small kisses down her neck.

"I will always love you," Bella whispered the last line to me before reluctantly pulling away as the song ended and the beach erupted into applause.

"Wanna get out of here?" she said so low I almost missed it, blushing at how forward she was being.

"I thought you'd never ask," I replied, trailing her behind me through the crowd in the opposite direction that led back to the house. I had never wanted someone as much as I wanted Bella. Sexually I don't think I'd ever be satisfied because being surrounded by her was the best feeling in the entire world and every time we were separated all I could do was think about the next time we would be joined again. We practically sprinted back towards the house and Bella was removing articles of clothing before we were even inside. I crashed through the door to see her standing there in her ridiculous black bra and the tiny thing she called a skirt.

"What's the rush?" I asked, my voice thick with lust.

"I want you. I want you right now." She was practically pleading with me, rubbing her thighs together.

"Bella, we have all night. Now as much as I can't wait to be inside of you again I also want to take my time and enjoy you."

I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it to the floor; my pants following. I walked towards the back of the house which Bella hadn't had a chance to see yet since we had been preoccupied the entire time we had been here.

"Where are you going?" she asked, trailing behind me.

"I thought I'd take a little late night swim. Care to join?"

"I guess," she replied rolling her eyes, clearly not catching on. "Just give me a minute to change into my swim suit."

"Okay you can go ahead and change if you'd like, but I didn't bring mine."

I stood there watching as realization slowly dawned on her and she all but ran back over to me and into the pool house. My father had done so many renovations on this little house when we had first bought it. It had always been nice, but by the time he was done with it, it was spectacular. The indoor pool and Jacuzzi room had been the last addition. There was no light and I flipped a switch illuminating the pool from underneath. I wasted no time in peeling off my boxers and jumping right in. Bella stood there watching me curiously before finally asking if it was cold. I chuckled at her.

"Bella it's indoors, plus I turned the heater on earlier before we left. So you coming in or what?" She smiled shyly at me as she slowly made her way down the concrete steps.

"Now this is hardly fair at all," I said pulling her to me.

"What?"

"I am in here completely naked while you have on entirely too many clothes."

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't lying about it being cold," she smiled back before sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. I was pulling her in deeper in deeper, the ends of her hair now damp and sticking to her shoulders and around her chest. Her bra was clinging to her, skin-tight and slightly see through; her nipples begging me to suck on them.

"Oh really? And if I had been lying what were you going to do about it?" I challenged.

"Punish you," she said, her hot mouth against my ear, before pushing off of the wall and swimming to the opposite end of the pool. God she was good. I quickly swam after her, stalking her like my prey.

She made it entirely too easy, obviously wanting to get caught and I pinned her between my chest and the wall. I brushed her hair back away from her neck and slowly began planting small kisses down in between her breasts. Her breathing hitched and she raised her leg, wrapping it around my hip, the tip of my cock brushing past her entrance.

"If this is considered punishment, I can't wait to see what you do to me when I'm good," I spoke against her flesh. She dropped her leg suddenly and pushed at my chest causing me to back up.

"This is nothing baby, but I'd be willing to show you." This new, sexy, dominating side of Bella had me losing my mind with anticipation. Where had this all come from? Who knew that she was secretly such a little nympho? She swam around me and headed back up the little stairs, standing at the edge of the pool giving me a fantastic view of her pussy peeking out from underneath that damn skirt she was still wearing which was now stuck to and dripping down her thighs. She slowly made her way over to the sauna room and waited for me to join her. I had no idea what she could possibly have in store, but I wasn't going to waste any more time before I found out. I joined her and sat on one of the little benches; my erection bobbing as I moved and I was really fucking happy I hadn't turned on the steam before we left because if we were going to have sex in here we would've passed out from a heat stroke if I had. She rose to her feet standing in between my legs and slowly reached behind her, unhooking her bra. I reached out to help her pull it off, but she lightly smacked my hand away and shook a finger at me. Oh man this was going to be good.

She slid the straps down each shoulder and off of her arms holding it out in front of her and leaning in, pushing her tits right into my face.

"Are you sure you want to play?" she asked seductively. I swallowed audibly and could only manage to shake my head up and down, not trusting myself to speak. She tossed her bra to the side and began sliding her skirt down her thighs, past her knees to her ankles, before stepping out of it. She picked it up, wringing the excess water out of it before leaning forward pushing her mouth against mine. The next thing I knew I was shrouded in blackness and realized she had blindfolded me with her skirt. Fuck me.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Shh, just go with it baby."

She gently nudged me on my chest and slowly pushed me back on the bench, my right knee bent with my foot resting on the seat and my left leg hanging over the side with my other foot on the floor. I felt the weight of her body as she crawled on top of me, her hair tickling my stomach. She began placing small, open-mouthed kissed across my torso heading lower and lower. I felt myself harden further and the familiar burning began, starting in my thighs all the way up into the pit of my stomach. She continued the slow torture, her hands gripping my inner thighs, massaging so painfully close to where I needed her touch.

She found her way back up my body still using only her mouth and circled a nipple with her tongue while pinching the other causing me to jump before her mouth met mine, slow but needy. Our lips worked together; tongues tangling and fighting for dominance, my erection now pressed against her thigh. I shamelessly rubbed myself against her needing to feel _something_, anything. She leaned against me further, her erect nipples lightly grazing my chest as she lowered herself once again. She grabbed me firmly, surprising me and causing me to moan in pleasure at finally being touched. She began working me slowly as her thumb circled the head before rubbing back down the shaft. Then I felt her warm lips on my inner thigh, kissing and sucking, eliciting pleasured grunts from me.

Before I had time to process what was happening I was inside her warm, wet mouth; her tongue swirling around my head. I had pictured this happening over and over again, but I never once thought I'd be fucking _blindfolded _or that it would feel this incredible. She swallowed me down further and further, wrapping her hands around the base of my shaft and working her way back up as she slid me out of her mouth. Before I had time to complain I was back inside while she picked up the pace; her hair rubbing against my legs and stomach as her head began bobbing. She sucked harder on her way back up and I exited her mouth once again with a little pop as she licked her way down my dick like an ice cream cone. She slid me in her mouth once again, pumping me in and out and I used all of my concentration trying not to cum because as fucktastic as it felt I wanted to be inside of her when I finally released. I couldn't take any more of this little game and I ripped her skirt away from eyes to see her bent over, working me at a feverish pace which was cum worthy all on it's own. I grabbed her biceps and stilled her movements. I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, I needed to feel her wrapped around me. I sat up abruptly pulling Bella with me. I turned her around, her back to me and directed to bend her right knee and place it on the bench with her left foot on the floor. I situated myself behind her, mirroring her body. No words needed to be spoken as she bent forward, bracing herself by gripping the edges of the seat in front of her. I teased her slit with my fingers making sure she was ready for me and without warning I pushed into her from behind. We both cried out in pleasure as I entered her and we were back to the raw, animal sex we had had earlier in the bookstore.

I slammed into her relentlessly, my hips smacking against her ass as she pushed back against me. She was impossibly tighter from this angle and once again I found myself trying to hold off on my release. She felt too fucking good for it to end so soon. Her cries echoed throughout the room and I snaked an arm around her, grabbing her left breast and massaging roughly. She turned her head towards my hand and I felt her tongue slide out against my arm before she ever so slightly bit me, causing me to start fucking her at an impossible pace. Her moans filled the room and her arms were beginning to tremble slightly as she continued to support her weight.

I released her breast and slid my hand down over her ribcage down the front of her stomach until I found her pulsing bundle of nerves and began working her, making her roll her hips back into me hard. I could feel the tingling, burning sensation beginning to coil throughout my body and knew this orgasm was going to be as intense as the one I had earlier. I felt her walls starting to clamp down around me and I leaned forward, my lips at her ear.

"Cum with me beautiful," I whispered, resulting in her undoing. She moaned and whimpered and I could feel her pulsing around me, milking me of my own release as we came, our bodies writhing together. She collapsed against the bench immediately after, her face resting on the wood with her ass still sticking up in the air.

I tried my best not to crush her as my body tried to crumble and bask in the afterglow. We stayed that way for several minutes before I finally slid out of her to find us both towels to clean up with. I tossed the towels in the laundry bin making a mental note to be sure and do laundry and disinfect the sauna before Bella and I left tomorrow. She grabbed her discarded bra and skirt and I reached for her hand and led her out of the pool house up the stairs into our bedroom. I pulled the comforter back and we crawled in together, our bodies sliding between the sheets and finding each other underneath. The bed was humongous. It could probably fit four easily, but Bella and I were lumped together somewhere near the middle as close as we could possibly get.

She propped herself on an elbow, placing her hands on each side of my face and staring deeply into my eyes.

"I love you," she said, emphasizing each word as if she was trying to make me truly understand the depth of her feelings. She kissed me softly before sliding back down; resting herself in between the crook of my arm and my shoulder, her leg thrown across my body.

"I love you Bella," I whispered back, hoping she knew that she was the last woman I would ever utter those words to.

**So let me know what you guys think! Your feedback and reviews mean alot to me! p.s. The song Edward and Bella dance to on the beach is "Love Song" covered by 311**


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